From Our Asia Correspondent: China guessed its economic growth at 6.9% today, a full 0.1% above what some analysts had expected would possibly be the figure they plumped for, and just a dot away from 69 one of the most sexy numbers in history, according to statistics released today.

SAN ANTONIO, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles) - Democratic presidential contender Hillary Clinton said she would seriously consider making Housing and Urban Development Secretary Julian Castro her running mate if she wins her party’s nomination. Clinton and the other Democrats in the November 2016 race for the White House have pushed hard for support among Hispanics, a…

Hildale, UT –  Six year old Amanda Cousins showed fear and shock after getting an open hand smacking of her butt, like a beaver slamming his tail on top of a river. 

Local gun owner Frank Chance successfully defended his home against a kitten last night, shooting the five month-old Tabby with a 12-gauge shotgun.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and former Governor of Florida Jeb Bush confessed he didn't actually know what the word "safe" meant until today. The revealing admission followed Jeb's incessant statements asserting his brother - former President George W. Bush - "kept us safe" despite nearly 3,000 Americans being killed in the terrorist attacks on September 11th, 2001.

      Watercolours are bloody tricky… by

  In related news: Daily Discord to sue Director Robert Zemeckis

Fans of misleading offers, dishonest advertising and devious contracts filled the Albert Hall yesterday, as Zeitgeist Publishing launched its latest modern lifestyle magazine T&C.

The launch, which some were disappointed to discover was in Catford's Albert Hall, was attended by thousands of wannabe scamsters, many attracted by the offers of free cars, holidays and sex that were mentioned in their original invitations.

by Jim Hightower.The push for the TPP is like Kabuki theater The negotiations and the sales push behind Washington’s latest (and biggest) “free trade” agreement amounts to Kabuki theater. What theater? Kabuki. It’s a 17th-century form of Japanese drama, featuring elaborate sets and costuming, rhythmic dialogue and stylized acting and dancing. That does, indeed, nicely sum up [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

Just as his fellow candidates appear to be finding some comfort around the unconventional presidential candidate, Donald Trump officials are hinting at another surprise.  

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) - Flying from New York to San Francisco? Louisiana to Los Angeles? Minnesota to Florida? New Hampshire to Colorado? Well, you'd better have a valid U.S. passport. Sure, these are domestic flights, but thanks to a law signed by President George W. Bush in 2005, following 9/11, issuance of…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she would wag her dominate index finger at every Wall Street CEO to attend a fundraising dinner this evening in East Hampton, New York. Clinton declared her wagging finger would put the corruption of Wall Street on notice, and prevent another economic crisis just like her "cut it out" discussion with Wall Street in December 2007 averted the 2008 economic crisis.

And watercolours are still a bugger to master…

Dave ponders if humans will continue to have jobs once intelligent robots enter the economy.

Yeah, spelling is going to be even a little more of a problem than usual, but c’est la vie. I admit I have no interest in the Dem debate. There, I said it. I was like, crap. I have to watch this shit? You see Tuesday is the new Wednesday in Flagstaff. Don’t read too deeply into that. No…

Channel 4 has announced that it has finally come up with a format to rival the success of Gogglebox, the documentary-style reality show it created in 2013 that allows viewers to watch various families as they watch TV.

"We toyed with various ideas," said a Channel 4 executive, "including Celebrity Gogglebox. Though obviously, we don't mean actual celebrities - just people who've been in an earlier series of Gogglebox. That counts, right?

by Gary Chew.“Freeheld” – a movie review by Gary Chew With such a glut of regurgitated violence and bloody CGI shenanigans on the big and small screens, I cast my vote for people who assess and meter the quality of movies to cut a modicum of slack for films that appear armed with a significant amount of [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

THE KREMLIN (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Russian Federation President Vladimir Putin announced he was running for the Republican presidential nomination due to how much his policies overlapped with those of the GOP. Putin's announcement elicited immediate gushing from Republicans and the right-wing propaganda networks that have praised Putin's strength and intelligence for years while they condemned President Obama for not starting a war with Russia over regional conflicts.

Jeremy, Sunny, and Mike Honore discuss the state fire marshal's engagement to a married woman, proper steroid use, and the benefits of steroid-shrunken testicles.

Many of the same people who relish in boasting about how awesome America is also claim that many seemingly highly beneficial goals are too hard to accomplish, even though these very objectives have already been accomplished by less awesome countries.