Check Please!
I plan to do great work today. Just as soon as I...check Instagram to see if that guy posted more dumb pictures of that thing he thinks is cool.
by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything ... Read moreRipping the Headlines Today, 11/20/18Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
Brap brap! More funny cartoons from Up Chuck! Be sure to share ’em… It really helps our Google juice! — Wallace BUSINESS AS USUAL! The Donald finds himself with a tricky task… GOING TO WORK! Oh dear… What’s going on?!
"Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering cow; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Thou damned cow!"
Blountstown, FL – (satireworld.com)

The Blountstown Chamber of Commerce released its newest report on the recent discover of massive gold deposits that have placed the once sleepy Florida Panhandle town on the map of richest places to live in America. Chamber President Cletus Moore included in the report of 87 locals who are newly-made millionaires. The individuals have struck it rich by finding substantial gold deposits on once played out agricultural land that in some cases have been in family hands for generations.
Two weeks into all the hoopla surrounding Brett Kavanaugh's Supreme Court nomination, I have just one question. Seriously? A man who grew up during the 80s and only sexually assaulted 2 3 5 women is a bad guy? Seriously?!
Atlanta, GA (satireworld.com)

The Centers for Disease Control (C.D.C.) has contributed two billion dollars to Georgia Tech University to study the effects of drinking from a toilet on dogs. The research, to be conducted with several breeds of dogs over five years and in multiple locations, will examine the physical health of the canines, as long as any mental or emotional effects that they might receive. The World Health Organization (W.H.O.) has announced that they are going to match the funding and assist in the research with their own team of doctors.
Sierra Nevada Mountain - (satireworld.com)
An archaeological study of the remains of the Donner Party shows that the survivors who had to turn to cannibalism preferred white meat to dark meat. The group, who was stranded in the Sierra Nevada mountains of California in the winter of 1846-47 appear to have eaten about 20% more breast meat than thigh or leg meat from those who died.
In a bid to secure thousands of low-paying jobs that no American wants, a caravan of workers from Central America stormed the US border with a goal of replacing roofs, harvesting farm produce, cleaning up hotel rooms, and generally taking care of the US population against their will.
Does A Bear Poop In The Woods?

The United States National Park Service officially clarified what was mostly snide jokes and hearsay remarks concerning the bathroom habits of North American bears. Today, Ranger Bud Ricks held a press conference at the Wilds Federal Reserve addressing the pressing issue of where a wild bear actually does his ‘scat’.
Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, and Maxine Waters claim that they were insulted at a local Washington D.C. restaurant went they went out to lunch on Wednesday (October 31st). Said Pelosi, “we were on a break from out duties in the House and Senate and went together to get a bite to eat. Che Francois had the audacity to tell us that we our costumes were okay, but that we needed to remove our Halloween fright masks before being allowed to enter their restaurant. None of us were wearing masks! I have never been so insulted!”
Please forward this today to everyone on your e-mail list in remembrance of all who have ever worn the uniform…and gave their yesterdays that we could have our tomorrows. This is the 100th anniversary of the Armistice that ended World War 1. Remember that “all gave some, but some gave all.”
President Trump continues to refuse to cooperate with negotiators hours after taking 18 children hostage inside the Oval Office this morning.
"This is not a war we asked for," said General Cornwall Grouse to a small gathering of reporters at an undisclosed location on the outskirts of Juneau, "but it is a war we intend to win."
She's doing so well is that woman, she thought. A woman in that job has to be much better than a man has to be. She's doing really well. A man couldn't have done that. Well done, I say.
In hopes of finally putting all this nonsense behind Him, God decided to skip over the year 2019 entirely, and start the next presidential election ASAP.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Do you owe IRS some money for your 2018 income return? Worry no more. Because of the continued government shutdown which has all but paralyzed essential Federal services, the Internal Revenue Services (IRS) announced today that U.S. taxpayers will get an automatic across-the-board refund when they file…

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