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Virgo (8/23 - 9/22): Your sun is in Leo, which could portend trouble because it's supposed to be in Albuquerque. Leo's son, meanwhile, has just confessed his love for his stepmother, who is being blackmailed by a mysterious, talkative gentleman named Jack Herer ...
Taylor Swift announced via her website this morning that she is closing her anal bleaching salon, Pucker Up. Ms. Swift opened the salon nine years ago . . .
Occurring just minutes after wrapping a recorded interview with ESPN at the network's Manhattan studios, the former quarterback was severely injured when he stepped out into 5th Avenue traffic without looking.
Therefore, instead of surprising someone with flowers or giving a fake name at Starbucks, here are ten righteous ways to celebrate National Just Because Day.
Postcards from the Pug Bus is a satire site that is usually funny, sometimes profane, and always a few fries short of a happy meal.
Recently I was informed by the entrail readers at 23&Me that I am no longer 1/500 sub-Saharan African or any other non-white subgroup. I was gutted by this revelation. "Yo, homie," I thought, "there goes my street cred . . ..
Beating out Old Lady with Rheumatoid Arthritis Doing Yoga as well as perrenial favorite Jessica Clayborne for her riviting turn as an incontinent septegenarian who goes to the driving range, McAdam's other credits include: Woman with Crohn's Disease Forced to Spend Rock Concert in Port-A-Potty and Bi-Polar Woman Who Participates in Chili Cookoff.
Does the recent CBD tsunami have no shame? CBD coffee, CBD water, CBD Scott's Turf Builder, and now CBD-infused Maxi Pads. Does High Times magazine have no shame, running dummes Mädchen articles about the 100 most important women in pot in an attempt to lure female readers. And now this?
Discordianism is the "religion of chaos, of causing maximum cognitive confusion in order to spark creative thinking outside the box of dogma" (or "Box of Rain" to Deadheads).
Everybody knows that different gemstones, power phrases, colors, handshakes, and non-GMO crystals are associated with the various signs of the Zodiac. Only the elevated stargazer, however, can see the relationships among certain paraphernalia and Zodiac signs.
Concerns about the value of Wal-Mart stock going forward from the El Paso shootings have decimated company morale, threatened the social fabric of many small communities, and led thousands of Wal-Mart employees to seek other career paths.
Though details have yet to emerge, it can be deduced that the 79 year-old Easy Rider star was one of possibly a dozen or more residents and staff killed when an as-yet identified shooter stormed the nursing home in which he was living and opened fire with a high-powered assault rifle.
"For years and years the White Aryan race has been loosing power to the mongrel races. This must stop!" So begins the manifesto of Aiden Vogel, a 22 year-old White Supremacist who attempted to commit a mass shooting outside a Denver-area Lowes this week, calling into serious question not only his own supremacy, but that of Anglo Americans in general.
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - "Enough is enough!" With these words, the United Nations General Assembly voted unanimously to move its headquarters out of New York and into New Zealand. The unprecedented move was prompted by the most recent mass shootings in the United States which have put the number to…
Top political spin doctor laments lack of good sex scandals during Tory leadership contest. Contends that well-managed and carefully leaked affair can enhance candidate's standing with male voters who believe sexual prowess and virility translate into political competence and international statesmanship.
Did President Trump's German relative play crucial role in Allied victory in World War Two? New book claims General Von Trumpenhoffer advised Fuhrer D Day invasion was 'Fake News', ensuring reinforcements not sent. Also told Hitler to build wall to keep out Russians and suggested suing Allies for bomb damage.
Can the Campaign for Real Ale tell the difference between effluent and craft beer? While real ale buffs enthuse over new brew, micro brewery owner accused of brewing unreal ales from raw sewage as part of revenge plot for loss of local pub.
Are straight US men being turned gay through so-called 'Perversion Therapy'? Notorious tabloid claims liberal conspiracy to boost number of homosexuals in order for US to meet UN mandated minorities quotas. Claims condemned as right wing propaganda intended to distract from 'Conversion Therapy' scandal.
Is poverty too good for the poor? Extraordinary claims of well off City-types who engage in poverty role play. Buying up slums to revel in supposedly stress free, irresponsible lives of the poor, in order to relieve the ennui of their privileged lives.
Somehow left empowered to determine highly impactful fiscal policy over the world's largest economy, the ape, which is actually a rare species of short-armed orangutan, sent global markets reeling this morning after a year-long temper tantrum culminated in the Chinese devaluing their currency.

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