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A man once voted 'Most Likely to be Crushed to Death Trying to Steal a Catalytic Converter' by his high school classmates was crushed to death while attempting to remove a catalytic converter from a vehicle outside a residence in Tulsa, Oklahoma this morning.
New research has linked exposure to drag queen performances with increased sass-mouth in children.
Do you care about trying to save our planet? Do you really? Because everyone who does knows that water conservation plays a crucial role in the fight against climate change, so if you're not, then you probably don't, and you can go to hell. If you really do, however; like really, really do, then you should know and already be doing the following:
Two weeks after protesting the downing of a high-altitude surveillance balloon from US airspace, Beijing is fuming once more over the 'wrongful termination' of a Chinese spy from the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency.
The Justice Department announced today that hundreds of convicted mass shooters will be offered the opportunity for early release from fedderal prison as the government struggles to accommodate a steady stream of new rampage killers into the system.
The skies over Tallahassee bloomed with fireworks last night as Florida brought its commemoration of Black History Week to a close with a bang.
Resembling a scene from Stanley Kubrick's 'Eyes Wide Shut', only dramatically less elegant, outdoors and on a much larger scale, Chaoyang Square was the site of a massive government-enforced orgy yesterday as Beijing continues to grapple with China’s shrinking population numbers.
Every week, Congressman George Santos of New York answers your questions about elevators and resigning.
Last night, I was thrilled to win the award for Best Actor at The Critics' Choice Awards. It was a humbling experience which, as I mentioned in my speech, I will forever be grateful for. Being truly blindsided by the award, and as a result not as prepared as I would otherwise have been, I did say a few other things during that same speech which, upon further reflection, I feel need to be qualified.
The Kremlin continues to blame military failures in the Ukraine on its own soldiers, including a squadron of orphan children who deserted into the woods outside of Soledar this week.
Newly elected Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy raised a few eyebrows this morning when he announced on the floor of the House that he is gay.
One year ago, people were hopefully optimistic that 2022 couldn't possibly be as bad as the consecutive raging dumpster fires that preceded it, but boy were they wrong. Russia invaded Ukraine, an inflation crisis tanked economies around the world, Roe vs. Wade was overturned, and, tragically, these 10 people continue to not be dead:
SAN DIEGO, CA - Scott "Fuzzy" Dunlop, a homeless man who has been known on occasion to masturbate out of doors, was "humbled and more than a little embarrassed" to recognize a description of himself performing the act in Golden Hill Park in a post on NextDoor today.
With gingerbread housing costs continuing to soar, many gummy bear families are finding it difficult to keep a frosted roof over their heads this holiday season.
The imminent decision of a Memphis, Tennessee grand jury's decision of whether to indict a man who resorted to poisoning the wild packs of children beleaguering his neighborhood could set a precedent for similar cases around the country.
Three people are dead and a dozen more injured after a man working as a department store Santa Claus opened fire inside a Dallas-area shopping center Sunday.
Brice Waterford, an election denier who has repeatedly claimed that Democrats cheated to install Joe Biden as President, is now denying that he lost his own race for Secretary of State of Nevada, as well as his hair, youth, and wife, among other things.
Has a notorious Victorian ghoul returned to terrorise Britain’s streets? Is ‘Flame Arsed Jack’ is once more abroad, frightening women and children with his anal arson antics? Mass hysteria, supernatural apparition, or 'Wokerati' bogeyman invented to scare children into being woke? Experts disagree as to true nature of 'Flame Arsed Jack'.
Government denies Security Service's 'honey trap' scheme - 'Operation Spanker's Bonus' - succeeded in entrapping only Tory MPs rather than foreign agents and domestic security threats. According to spokes person top Tory MP didn't suffer heart attack while strapped into spanking machine and senior minister not caught off his face on drugs.
Did the Queen jump out of her coffin at lying in state as practical joke before expiring again? Did those viewing coffin experience healing miracles? Top psychologist claims UK spent period of Royal mourning in state of hysteria, hallucinating late monarch as saint-like figure, as a 'Royal Death Cult' gripped nation.

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