Check Please!
Congressman Clay Higgins said anyone willing to disparage him on the internet should be willing to “back it up in an affair of honor” in person.
The bedside lamp flicked on once more. It had been on and off more these past ten hours than in the entire month just gone by. Or year? Who cares? I cannot count. These pitiful flesh-scrapings from a felled tree of these thousands; soggy-rank with tears, sodden with such wrong-ridden kind of ink, still doggedly […]
Would people describe you as: A) a creative free-thinker with an "outside the box" mentality, B) a process-oriented manager focused on the big picture, or C) a cranberry farmer?
Eon Productions, cashing in on Jeremy Corbyn’s recent success in the General Election, have announced that he will star as the popular British Secret Agent, James Bond, in an upcoming film. ‘We’re pretty excited about Jeremy coming on board for this production and look forward to an interpretation that will be at pace with modern...
Phoenix, AZ—President Trump was all smiles today upon hearing the news our veterans will no longer be forced to wait around VA centers for days, weeks or even months only to find out no services are available. Biff Lang of the Phoenix Regional Veterans No-Benefits Office said, “It’s really simple now. There’s no funding, so there’s no sense hanging around…
A source in Ivanka Trump Kushner’s staff has leaked secret arrangements, showing that Ivanka is preparing for all contingencies, now that the negotiations between her husband and the Russians have surfaced. She made a person to person phone call to Giorgio Armani giving him her husband’s measurements...
Breaking news from the White House reveals that a doppelganger Mike Pence has obtained the launch codes to the United States' nuclear missile arsenal and has since vanished.
Hi, it’s Bobby Joe! Oink oink! Moo moo! Hey gimme back that beer money you asshole! Fur things and feathered things do be one kind of the ornippological phenomeninations in the glorious animal world. Bobby Joe knows it! Look at the parody!
If we slept together and haven't spoken in over two months, please throw my number in the trash. Otherwise, please refer to this guide for appropriate actions.
Our benevolent overlord, Rupert Murdoch, has granted a day of democracy for the collective chattel – provided, of course, they vote for his preferred minion. To help us in our decision, the Murdoch papers have been running a myriad of headlines, including ‘It’s my May Way or the Highway’, ‘Corbyn makes terrorist jam’ or the...
The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) - Starting in 2017, there will be no more New Year's Day kisses between CNN's Anderson Cooper and comedian Kathy Griffin. The two have been the most watched couple on television leading up to the New Year's Eve dropping of the ball in New York's Times Square. Cooper, who…
Are serious diseases like cancer a medical scam? Astonishing claims from Tory politician that most sicknesses invented by medics to justify existence of National Health Service and swindle billions of ponds of tax payers money to fund bogus treatments for fake diseases!
A new report released by the Television Scientists of America shows the negative impact of reading on the fragile human brain and how it decreases its capacity to fully appreciate a wonder of the modern world: television.
Saw this one on the Weather Channel:

"'Sad Day for the World': Globe Reacts to Trump's Decision to Pull U.S. Out of Paris Accord"

If *I* were writing headlines for this story, they'd be more along the lines of...
Theresa May visibly flushed at the sound of Donald Trump's name in the debate last night, speaking fondly of long calls on the telephone where the Trump 'tells her everything'.
Facing a third consecutive decade of economic stagnation and negative population growth, members of the Chamber of Commerce of Wehaten******ville, Texas recently put to voters a proposal to change the town's name to something a little more business friendly.
This very special bonobo ape lives in Des Moines, Iowa under the watchful care of scientists with the Great Ape Trust, where he spends his days making fires, communicating through computerized pictograms, and, now and again, snacking on choice dumps.

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