Check Please!
According to the Academic Scientists Society of America, there are ten scientifically proven ways to tell if you are a big fat dummy.
Romper!, a western grey kangaroo, was elected Prime Minister of Australia last night in the latest of a series of stunning right-wing political upsets to rock the Western World.
We’re facing an ‘epidemic’ of loneliness, apparently. It’s all to do with more and more people living on their own and the socially isolating effects of modern technology and communication. Actual, face-to-face human interactions are on the decline. Personally, I think that it is all a load of bollocks.
Los Angeles, CA – (

A massive iceberg which broke off from Antarctica’s Larsen Shelf today could spell disaster for Los Angeles if it floats too far north from the Antarctic continent.
Moscow – ( According to laryngologists at Moscow’s famous Rear, Nose & Throat Hospital flaxen-heired Ms Junior has tested positive following analysis of intimate swabs. The news comes amid rising US-Russian tensions about KGB interference in 2016’s presidential troll. Uh, poll.
State Senator Bob Tipton has vowed to end the drug crisis in his area the only way he knows how- by doing all the drugs himself.
Bill Maher, host of Real Time with Bill Maher, has issued a formal apology for his recent racially charged tweet concerning the tense situation in North Korea.
Boise, ID – “Sure, it looked at little run down and maybe even a little spooky,” shared the shaken patriarch of the Allen family.  “We needed gas and we were in Idaho for God’s sake.  There may not have been gas for another 200 miles.  The sign said ‘Under New Management’ so I figured it was safe and the new owners would be making some good changes.  What’s really left to trust in this world if you can’t trust a sign like that.”
ARTISANAL PRESS — Residents of the sanctuary city recall what it was like for cosplayers to fly in, burn their city down, and then leave.
Social Media is being stumped when asked to tell the difference between the back of Donald Trump's head and a duck's ass, according to sources close to the controversy.
I could not bear the thought of the work required to keep my hedges looking as trim and inviting as all of those hedges my husband had bookmarked and shared with me online.
Having met with top campaign contributor and social media guru Vladimir Putin, Trump came out glowing with the announcement that Alaska will be returned to Russia for “a full refund, cash!” The United States purchased Alaska from Russia in 1867 for $7.2 million dollars. Effective immediately, the territory will be returned to Russia complete with […]
Nearly 50 years on, the survivors of the Poseidon Adventure are still waiting to be permanently re-housed on dry land. Rosen, Martin, Nonnie, Susan and Robin, who all managed to make their way through the watertight doors and into the propeller shaft tunnel before finding a way to attract the attention of rescuers have been...
It has long been believed that President Donald Trump, who has described his own hair as resembling ‘a wet raccoon,’ had purchased his disproportionately more attractive Eastern European wives for undisclosed sums. Trump has even tweeted that he believes...
Boston, MA – (

Researchers at the prestigious Harvard School of Media Affairs published a jaw-dropping study showing proof-positive results on what makes a person’s mind think in liberal political terms and the influence of ‘Fake News’ from sources like ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, Time Magazine, and of course, the Wall Street Journal .
Desperate to be touched like a woman, Karen Pence made the bold move to draw attention to her needs.
Eric Trump will look to make baseball great again when he jets to South Beach as a member of this year's American League All-Star Team.
Melania Trump is filing divorce papers. The First Lady is finally sick of the Donald’s ‘unreasonable behavior.’ This confidential excerpt is very revealing. #1 A bidet is not a toilet. Not even if you are the best bidet sitter of all. The Donald bidet-sits the best! Nobody sits bidets like the Donald. Well, yeah. Nobody shits them either, like […]

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