Air Force One at the Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, CA has been replaced by Donald Trump's private helicopter as the background for the CNN GOP debate. Reports are still coming in, however, word is that Trump purchased the retired Air Force One shortly before the debate and will re-wrap it in Viva Trump decals and park it along the California-Mexico border.

HONOLULU, Hawaii  (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Michael Sam, Jr. may be the first openly-gay player in professional football in the U.S., but Hawaii's Warriors are the first-ever, all-gay team in college football. The University of Hawaii team players recently unveiled their retro uniforms which they wore during last Saturday's game against Ohio State. The…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - A TNA study released today showed 98.6% of Donald Trump's supporters were unable to spell or define "xenophobia." The study also showed roughly the same results for those who were asked to spell or define "authoritarianism."

“Good, Bobby.” Norquist patted his gimp’s masked head. He reached down a little further and opened the zipper over his gimp’s mouth. “Bobby … speak.”

Is main bidder for BBC weather forecasting contract involved in manipulating weather to fix outcome of sporting events for shady Far Eastern betting syndicates? Amazing claims made by investigative journalist!

MOREHEAD, KENTUCKY (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and former Governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee announced the Confederate States of America never officially surrendered during the Civil War and still existed. Huckabee's declaration followed his assertion earlier in the week the Supreme Court's 1857 Dred Scott ruling remained "the law of the land" in a sophomoric comparison to the Supreme Court's recent ruling legalizing same-sex marriage.

MENLO PARK, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Today's big news was about Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg's announcement that the social media network is finally bringing in a 'dislike' button after resisting the suggestion from users for many years. The announcement was met with mixed reaction -- many approving but an equal number fearing that the…

We’re absolutely appalled by a report that a so-called “journalist” dared to accost Vitter with persistent questions about his history with prostitutes.

I’ve never believed in all that climate change mess, but now that weather made LSU cancel a football game for the first time since World War I, I’m beginning to wonder if it’s real.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she only planned to make one or two mistakes like her 2002 vote to give Republican President George W. Bush the authority to invade Iraq. Clinton assured Americans she would apologize "extremely sincerely" for an inevitable future mistake or two that could be compared to the costly war with, and subsequent occupation of, Iraq.

Enraged by a painting of his face made with the artist's own menstrual blood, Trump reportedly painted a mockery of menstruation made with his own face.

MENLO PARK, California (The Adobo Chronicles®) - During a Q&A session at Facebook headquarters Tuesday, Mark Zuckerberg announced that a "dislike" button is finally coming to the social-media network. "I think people have asked about the dislike button for many years.  Today is a special day because today is the day I can say we're working…

BATON ROUGE, LOUISIANA (The Nil Admirari) - Today, a Louisiana man who turned a nearly $1 billion surplus into a $1.5 billion deficit in less than two terms in office called Republican presidential candidate and billionaire Donald Trump a "delusional sociopath." TNA has learned the man's name is Piyush "Bobby" Jindal - Governor of Louisiana and yet another Republican presidential candidate - who embraced trickle-down economics in his state, caused massive damage to Louisiana's economy, and told Americans as recently as ten minutes ago he was "the best person to be the next president."

LSU football fans who bought tickets to the canceled home opener against McNeese State University will be able to get refunds in Mike the Tiger’s habitat, according to Athletic Director Joe Alleva.

John McDonnell, the new Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer, is now so far beyond parody, satirists of all political parties have thrown in the towel, choosing to make pots instead according to sources close to the matter.

8 year-old Ava Hunt is no longer a student at Loveland Elementary School in California. After 9 tardies, the school principal informed the parents that they cannot allow their daughter to attend the school when she is consistently late. The reason for her tardiness? Her parents, Aaron and Jackie Hunt, spending countless hours making the perfect "first day" sign to post on social media.

Following the formation of a continuity New Labour party, Real New Labour has argued with Provisional New Labour whether they should support them or not. ‘There appears to be a split’ said one MP. ‘I disagree’ said another ‘It's more of a disagreement than a split’. Several MPs have stated that they feel that this is much the same thing, whereas others argue that it is, in fact, quite different.

Presidential candidates used their summer vacations to improve themselves – here’s how. Time to yodel a big old welcome back to the same old grind from our too brief summer respite. And yes, that does include the umpteen-gazillion presidential candidates returning from their home districts with batteries and bank accounts recharged.

DALLAS, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - American Airlines (AA) accidently sent the wrong plane across the ocean from Los Angeles to Hawaii, a company spokesman confirmed to AFP Sunday. In the August 31 incident first reported by transportation blogger Brian Sumers, the plane made it safely to Honolulu despite the error. American Airlines spokesman Casey Norton said…

MOREHEAD, KENTUCKY (The Nil Admirari) - Today, bigots from around the country assembled in front of the building Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis worked out of so they could yell obscenity-laced threats of physical harm and spiritual damnation at same-sex couples seeking to get a marriage license. Many of the hateful, ignorant people who bravely assailed same-sex couples for exercising their legal rights affirmed that their petty intolerance draped in religion was more important than the Constitution and the rule of law.