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SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles) -  It's supposed to be the big day on Thursday  for Pizza Hut : the official launching of its new  pizza with hotdog-stuffed crust, a concoction that Italian chefs and bakers would almost be embarrassed to even think about. The usually serious Washington Post  took time out from its political…
JUPITER ISLAND, Florida--After several seasons of sub-par performances and pushing through various physical ailments, PGA superstar Tiger Woods is finally regaining his form and performing like a much younger man, according to several local prostitutes. "He definitely has his fire back," says Cookie, a dancer at Sensations, a local club, "He approaches every hole with…
'Criminals will think twice about entering a church if they know they'll be confronted by a pastor wielding a bible in one hand and an AR-15 in the other.'
by Gary Chew.“Aloft” – a film review by Gary Chew Aloft (from 2014) contains a smidgen of sub-titled French dialogue, but it’s English that’s spoken most. This mishmash of language may possibly be a bit confusing for you, but just wait till you see the film. Claudia Llosa, who wrote and directed Aloft, was born in Lima [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
A 9 year-old Decatur, Georgia boy castrated himself yesterday, bringing the number of Caitlyn Jenner-related mutilations by children up to 15 since the former Olympian underwent his own sex reassignment surgery last month.
Consumer advocate and former presidential candidate Ralph Nader says he is close to opening the doors to his own Washington D.C. swingers club.
The FIFA Women's World Cup has been canceled. At 1pm PST today, soon-to-be-gone FIFA President Sepp Blatter announced that the games would be canceled after United States goalie Hope Solo "went completely ballistic and burned down Commonwealth Stadium in Edmonton."
Louisiana's flagship university is hoping to raise extra funds by raising medically prescribed cannabis on its Parade Ground, LSU Chancellor and President F. King Alexander says.
MOUNTAIN VIEW, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Forgot your password yet again? No worries. There's  a new technology now in the market that will revolutionize identity recognition for unlocking your smart phone, using the ATM, or gaining access to maximum security areas. Until recently, fingerprints and the eye's iris have been the highest standard in identity technology.…
After weeks of denying it, Chris Evans has finally agreed to grow a large stomach and die his hair brown in one of the biggest U-turns in broadcasting history since Channel 5 took over Big Brother.
‘We’ve been laughed at for too long’ said Trump. ‘It’s time for follicly-challenged men everywhere to stand up and be counted. To stand tall and proud like your hair on a windy day on a championship links golf course’.
by Michael Egan.Presidential candidate Jeb Bush claims he is ‘completely unrelated’ to the Bush Family, and is thus electable MIAMI, FL – Jeb Bush claimed at a news conference today that he is not, in fact, related to Presidents Bush I and II, adding that he was actually born in Kenya “just like the current occupant of [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
Fort Smith, AR – Miles Yorkman is an eccentric philanthropist who likes to sit naked on his front lawn and think about different ways he can help people.  He is a multi-millionaire who won a $407 million powerball jackpot last year.  Neighbors are not thrilled by Yorkman’s odd behavior but they know he helps a lot of people so they choose to look the other way.
40 years ago, the Golden State Warriors won the NBA Championship. Since then, much has changed, except their uniforms. After clinching their first NBA title since 1975 in Game 6 last night in Cleveland, Mead Corporation CEO John A. Luke, Jr. immediately called the Warriors' executive office and offered a seven-figure sponsorship to the organization, stating that he plans to bring back their Pee-Chee brand for the team.
Experts believe that 'approximately a quarter of all serving officers are engaged on Operation Yewtree, twenty percent on historical abuse complaints and the remainder on investigating police cock ups at Hillsborough, the Miner's strike and 'that fracas outside the House of Commons'.
by Michael Egan.“A complete makeover for the White House interior is needed as well” – Lindsey Graham WASHINGTON, DC – GOP Presidential candidate Sen. Lindsey Graham (R–SC) said at a press conference today that if he is elected, he will immediately order a complete “nipple pink” repaint of the White House, inside and out. Graham insisted that [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
Did Titanic Really Sink in 1912? Conspiracy Theorist Sensationally Claims that Liner Still Afloat and Hosting Cabal of Immortal Celebrities Who Faked Own Deaths!
Yesterday, real estate mogul and reality TV star Donald Trump officially announced his candidacy for president of the United States in a 45-minute speech. As a public service, we have fact-checked some of the bolder claims Trump made during his announcement.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - If you're wondering why your favorite newspaper rack for The Washington Post is empty today, wonder no more. The country's leading print newspaper does not have a Wednesday edition. Yesterday, in the spirit of public service, newsroom staff of the Post participated in a taste test of the new Pizza Hut hot…
Saying he’s been eyeing the country for a long time but was waiting for its appraised value to drop, business mogul Donald Trump had placed a record-breaking bid for the purchase of the United States.

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