(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS

1. “Let’s Make A Dill”, the #2 Game Show, to be sponsored by Levitra for next five years. (Longer than Viagra’s “Dill of Fortune” 3-year contract).

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chroniclexs, Washington Bureau) - Just days after berating CNN and calling it "fake news," President-elect Donald Trump is now accusing The Onion of spreading the same. "I've been reading The Onion for quite some time now," Trump said,  "and I've finally come to the conclusion that all its stories are lies and…

Coming quickly on the heels of Communications Director Hope Hicks's own resignation last week, the latest member of Trump's inner-circle and the 205th staffer to quit the administration in the last two months is another major blow to a presidency in turmoil, some say.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - At his swearing (pun intended) today as the 45th president of the United States, Donald Trump forged new ties with the Philippines without saying a single word. All he did was raise his clenched first in the fashion that Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte and his supporters have…

As French kissing was invented, unsurprisingly, by the French, they own all the rights to the tongue-twirling manoeuvre. Rights they share with fellow members of the EU. If Britain were to leave the Union then they would have their rights to the French kiss revoked. Britain could become a loveless nation akin to a kissless version of the world from Footloose.

New York – (SatireWorld.com)
Ex-US president Barack Obama has been summonsed as a character witness in the upcoming House of Sword princes corruption trial.
The move follows a crackdown at royal Saudi palaces last Saturday where ‘a lot of crack cocaine’ was seized along with dozens of surface-to-heir missiles, camel-oriented pornography and infidel sex toys – including a 30ft-deep Michelle-O rubber pudenda nicknamed Alwaleed’s Ravine.

BROOKLYN (The Barbed Wire) - The Hillary Clinton campaign announced today they will be re-introducing Hillary the presidential candidate - AGAIN. For the third time. They promise this version is less buggy and more voter-friendly. We spoke with Clinton campaign manager Robby Mook about the reboot of the reboot to see what's different this time.

After a tumultuous year working with General HR McMaster as National Security Advisor, President Trump announced he would be replacing him with TV personality and tactician HR Pufnstuf. Let’s see how they compare.

The small, but loyal, group planned to march around Washington DC in support of men’s rights, Donald Trump and lower taxation on fedoras, however the group simply didn’t have the stamina to walk more than a short distance.

The prospect of a Zika virus pandemic has a lot of people worried. That’s why we’re offering five simple steps you can take to avoid contracting Zika.

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com)
New questions are being raised about the sleeping pill Ambien after Kerry Kennedy, the ex-wife of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, may have been under the influence of the sleeping aid when she was involved in a crash with a tractor-trailer on a New York highway and left the scene. She claims she was ‘sleep-driving.’

Lady Liberty will be moved north this week into nation that still welcomes immigrants of all faiths.

Lee Knotts, 24, has admitted he cares little for football and will only watch ‘the big games’. That didn’t stop his work colleagues mocking him relentlessly for not knowing which team will knock out England in a dull, uninspiring game.

The Trump administration announced on Monday that it will reverse Obama-era standards that banned dumping bright green toxic waste directly on your head.

A first-time mother would like her Facebook friends to stop filling her feed with posts indicating she chose to have a child on the eve of America unraveling into a dystopian nightmare.

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com)
Rosie O’Donnell announced today that she was not upset by Miley Cyrus’s performance at MTV’s VMA Awards by paraphrasing President Barack Obama and saying “If I had a son, he’d look like Miley Cyrus.” Miley upset viewers everywhere by bumping and grinding (now called “twerking” by the texting generation) and then constantly rubbing her crotch suggestively with a foam finger during a musical performance at the awards show.

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has been rushed to hospital with multiple stab wounds to the back after a frenzied attack took place just hours ago.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

The United States Postal Service announced today that the long overdue commemorative stamp issue celebrating the two-term presidency of Barack Obama are now on sale at most USPS locations.

Titled, "Making English the Official Language of the World", the order would effectively ban the use of any other language across the globe.

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com)

Senator Elizabeth Warren was paid a high honor when presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton vowed to place Warren's facial image on a new US twenty-five-cent piece. “After all, Elizabeth is part Cherokee Indian and deserves all due respect as a fellow minority,” said Clinton as she addressed a gathering of retired Buffalo soldiers in Fort Riley, Kansas.