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by Roz Warren.Perv who likes his sexual partners smooth – and shiny, hard and cold – is on a slippery slope. A man who is sexually attracted to playground equipment was recently banned from “any location with a slide” after being caught having sex with one. Christopher Johnson, 46, was described by the newspaper who reported this [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
Charleston, SC – President Obama has learned a thing or two about lack of action by previous administrations to natural disasters.  With ‘biblical flooding’ predicted for the Carolinas, big government is not taking any chances. 
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the results of a TNA study regarding guns being used for personal protection was released. The data concluded most Americans were not important enough to have to worry about ever using a gun for self-defense, and discovered most Americans who believed they needed a gun for self-defense had poor reasoning skills, overestimated their importance, and were suffering from narcissistic personality disorder.
Grandfather of four and great-grandfather of eight Al Chandler of Dunlap, Arkansas came out of the closet, sort of, at the ripe old age of 81 this week.
Sue downloads the beta of Minecraft 2...
Why complain, republicans? You got it pretty good. Your Senators from places like Montana and South Dakota carry the same weight as their counterparts in New York and California. Then, when population does matter, you’ve gerrymandered every district into oblivion. Nice. Oh, and you won the Senate because no one save the old, white and…
America's National Rifle Association has identified a lack of guns in Syria as the reason for the high number of deaths from shootings there. A spokesman said: 'That mass shooting at a military checkpoint would never have happened if someone had already shot the people who did it.'
California drought, paired with discovery of water on Mars, forces NASA reappraisal. The day after NASA announced they had found water on Mars, the agency revised its list of places in the universe with the least amount of water. California, along with the Sahara desert in North Africa, are now above Mars on the list.
SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Some 300,000 people are expected to descend upon Castro Street in San Francisco's gay district on Sunday for the annual Castro Street Fair. This year, organizers promised there will be more booths and booze, and dozens of commercial vendors selling non-gay merchandise. The all-day festivities will commence with…
England's rugby team are now so bad that they have started to apologise for their performance before the last game has been played, that's according to apologies seen by this newspaper last night.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the Republican presidential campaign of former Governor of Florida Jeb Bush announced Jeb would wear a shock collar "to prevent him from speaking, which is not in his best interest if he wants to win the White House." The transition to a "nonverbal campaign" followed a rising slew of insensitive, politically tone deaf comments that showed Jeb to be completely out of touch with reality, and the majority of the American people.
Tim Cook encounters some problems installing iOS 8
Today, Democratic candidate and self-proclaimed socialist Bernie Sanders was “feeling the bern” of poor pizza slice distribution. Sanders railed against the “top, elite pizza eaters running around with their third slice” and lamented the “tiny little, sad baby slices” of pizza that many in the...
ROWAN COUNTY, KY (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - After The Vatican's official clarification that Pope Francis' meeting with Kim Davis was not a "private audience" as the Rowan County clerk claimed, Liberty Counsel (Davis' attorneys) went on a damage-control mode. Following documented media reports that the only private audience the Pope gave was with his long-time Argentinian…
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admiari) - In the wake of yet another senseless mass shooting in America, the Republican National Committee (RNC) announced its presidential candidates had pledged to make every future campaign event - including debates - a "mandatory gun zone" to show their support for a gross misreading of the Second Amendment. RNC Chairman Reince Priebus denied Republican candidates were forced to choose whether to support the mandatory gun zone edict or drop out of the race, and declared candidates were required to give a gun to any supporter that showed up at a campaign event...
This month, everyone gets a costume idea based on this year’s big events, or — in the case of the political figures — annoying yet easily forgettable also-rans.
Washington – After yet another senseless act of violence left 10 people dead and many more injured in the sleepy town of Roseburg, President Obama was hyper critical of both political parties, Presidential hopefuls, and potential killers everywhere.
In response to the hardships many refugee men face in growing and maintaining full beards, a Seattle-based organization is encouraging hipsters in the city to donate their facial hair.

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