Presidential hopeful, Donald Trump, continues to confound Americans with his approach in gaining the highest office in the land.  Whether it’s deporting 11 million people or convincing us the mop on his head is real, Trump continues to win over voters. 

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she was drafting all of her campaign donors between the ages of 18 and 25 for ground combat roles in the war she planned to fight against the Islamic State (ISIS) following her inauguration in 2017. Clinton touted her gender inclusiveness in the process, and noted both men and women were being automatically volunteered for military service to fight in her future Middle East wars of choice.

PARIS -- One week after terrorist attacks shook the city at its core, the inhabitants of Paris are heeding calls by political leaders and are again having passionate, non-stop sex.

Inspirational!

Following on from the news that Prime Minister David Cameron and his senior ministers are to get their own plane for official trips, Downing Street have also announced a flurry of new ministerial vehicles.

All senior ministers will have access to a fleet of Maybach chauffeur driven cars (provided by Knight enterprises); a refitted train (believed to be formerly the Hogwarts express); a luxury ministerial yacht and speedboat; a number of 'Airwolf' helicopters; and Thunderbird 2.

TURKEY (The Barbed Wire) - Sticking to his strategy of no "boots on the ground" in the fight against ISIS, President Obama now says he is examining what he called "an interesting option" that could potentially take the place of his current strategy, which is military paralysis.

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - There were only twenty world leaders  who showed up at the welcome rites for the Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation Summit Meeting Wednesday afternoon. There should have been  twenty one. Missing was U.S. President Barack Obama. In a statement explaining Obama's absence, a spokesperson for the U.S. Embassy in Manila said…

FLORIDA (The Barbed Wire) - With his campaign having as much traction as a three-legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond, Jeb! Bush is seeing the writing on the wall and starting to plan for life after presidential politics.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the corporate media in the United States urged Americans "to remember how wicked awesome and fun" going to war was when President George W. Bush invaded Iraq in 2003 with absolutely no plan for what to do afterward. For those unconvinced, spurious corporate journalists like everyone on Fox News and CNN's Wolf Blitzer spent the day fearmonging, and interviewed a slew of pro-war guests to convince Americans the Islamic State (ISIS) was so scary the United States must immediately send ground troops back to the Middle East.

"I would be scared of a cucumber that creeps up from behind. Are you sure it isn't a giant green caterpillar?" Jessie Krufts, Caterpillar Collector

Washington—Congress has advanced a bill encouraging people from war-ravaged parts of the Middle East to: “Stay the F put and make the best of it.” This bill also caps the number of refugees arriving from this region of the world to four. Those four lucky new Americans must agree to be blessed with Holy Water as…

Fresh from the triumph of its new XJ42 Infinibook, Texas computer outfit Dell has announced it has bought UK singing sensation Adele.

Practically every wealthy nation today is making major investments in building high speed rail networks to transport their people, but not the USA.

Adele's new album, 25, is set to be so enormous new words will have to be made up to explain just how big it is, according to music insiders today.

There is no greater assault on a nation whose foundations are built on the concept of liberty than to attack it when it’s fully expressing that very liberty, engaged in pursuit of the simplest, everyday pleasures.

Ultra-wealthy actress had no idea her luxury T.V. spot for EA might rankle the rank and file.

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) - In less than 24 hours after revealing its choice for 2015 'Sexiest Man Alive,'  People magazine revised its verdict and made it a three-way tie. Earlier, People named former soccer star David Becham to this year's much-coveted title.  But as the magazine cover featuring the 40-year-old global superstar was about…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the Islamic State (ISIS) announced many prominent Republican politicians - including many GOP presidential candidates - will receive cash bonuses for exceeding ISIS's recruiting goals. The Islamic State explained Republican opposition to Syrian refugees being allowed into the United States was "a wonderful way" to help the religious-extremist organization recruit even more Syrian civilians, who were essentially being held hostage inside their own country.

Queen Accused of Breaking Wind During Two Minute Silence at Cenotaph. Royal Fart Widely Condemned as Disrespectful - Not to Mention Noxious - to Britain's War Dead and Military Veterans.

Over at The What & The Why, I’m talking about the Paris attacks and making broad points about the whole troubled mess. I accept it won’t be to everybody’s taste but that was deliberately so. My views are atheist, sceptical, but also, I hope, humanist. Despite being cynical about most things, I’m no nihilist. I […]