Cream, sugar, even shots of flavored syrup — it's sickening, in its vapid herd-like mediocrity.

Burlington, VT—Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) told The Discord today he supports both medical marijuana and the decriminalization of cannabis. Senator Sanders is also open to the recreational use of marijuana for the strict purpose of increasing the creativity of a certain group of spoof news bloggers, “who really seem to suck without it.” Sanders told…

The National Children's Bureau for the Bleeding Obvious has discovered that dicking around on the Xbox rather than doing your homework, might be a barrier to academic greatness. By contrast research initiated by all teenagers, has revealed that all work and no play makes Jack a ‘swot who no one invites to parties’.

These almost contrasting conclusions have split scientists; particularly those who spend all day starring at data on a computer screen in the hope of proving that starring at a computer screen is bad for you.

by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

Self-described “devout Christian” Heath Ferrate frequently posts to social media articles claiming no one was actually killed in the 2012 mass shooting perpetrated by Adam Lanza.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC-04) - chairman of the eighth Select Committee on Benghazi - announced his lawyers had instructed him to begin practicing the phrase "I plead the Fifth." The legal advice followed allegations Gowdy may have violated federal law when he fired Benghazi investigator Maj. Bradley Podliska - an active member of the Air Force Reserve who criticized Gowdy's investigation for focusing primarily on Hillary Clinton - and may have violated federal law again when he tried to discredit Podliska by releasing confidential information...

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - Two of the country's minority journalism organizations today formally protested the use of the term 'illegal alien' in the new Hollywood film, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. The Asian American Journalists Association(AAJA) and the National Association of Hispanic Journalists (NAHJ) sent a strongly-worded joint letter to Zack Snyder accusing…

SYRIA (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Syrian civilians who have not fled their war-torn country declared they largely did not know what air strikes were "friendly" and what air strikes were "hostile." They also explained Russia's bombing of Syria had made identifying whether civilians were being killed by a "friendly air strike" or a "hostile air strike" even more difficult.

 

Despite the right to a refund becoming law, many Corbyn supporters have been disheartened to discover that they will have to stick with their original purchase; at least until the next General Election. What for many was an impulse buy, has turned out to be rather thread-bare, reminiscent of the 70s and lacking the ‘nuclear deterrent option’ that other models come with.

While most customers will be able to take their complaints to a certified Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR), voters will have to keep their faulty goods or ‘Nick Clegg promise’ as it is sometimes called.

by Gary Chew.“99 Homes” – a film review by Gary Chew It was a trip to San Francisco that gave me the good fortune to hear, in person, the director of the new film, 99 Homes. Ramin Bahrani talked about how much on-scene research he and his crew did prior to finishing up the script and shooting [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

With less than two weeks remaining before election day, the Times-Picayune editorial board gave the nod to Vitter over fellow Republicans Lt. Gov. Jay Dardenne and Public Service Commissioner Scott Angelle, as well as Democratic state Rep. John Bel Edwards.

Two American bloggers have been awarded a Nobel Prize in social science for their work leading to the discovery of nanoaggressions -- tiny acts of discrimination 1000 times smaller than microaggressions and invisible to the naked eye.

Ames, IA – Assad Achmed fled Syria eight years ago, with dreams of coming to America to blow stuff up.  Local police in Ames confirm that Achmed is a ‘pretty weird dude’ but claim that he appears to be harmless.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and retired neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson announced he "wouldn't just stand there" if a nuclear warhead was dropped on him. Carson stated he "didn't care" whether the nuclear warhead "came from Russia or Ethiopa or wherever," because he "would stop it" and not allow himself "to become a victim like all those unarmed Americans who have died in America's plague of mass shootings."

Miss Piggy, the wildly successful late night chat show host on The Muppets, is not going to meet the prime minister after all, scotching hopes she will be able to make an appearance with the prime minister on the BBC's Farm Animals in Need, imminently.

Fighting back against Pentagon plans to slim the nation's defense budget, a group of congressmen led by Sen. Jim Inhofe, R-Okla., are warning the Obama Administration against scrapping the Army's fleet of battle zeppelins.

HONOLULU, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles) - Earlier this year, when Columbia Pictures released the film 'Aloha,' Asian American groups protested the casting of Caucasian actress Emma Stone as Allison Ng, a character who was supposed to be part Hawaiian. Now it seems that the tables have been turned. Caucasian Americans are criticizing the casting of a…

OREGON (The Barbed Wire) - Determined to circumvent Congress, President Obama has decided on his first executive order related to gun control. He's ordering a ban on shotgun weddings, typically defined as any wedding that takes place quickly, usually to avoid embarrassment because of a pregnancy.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she was going to legally change her name to "Bernie Sanders." Clinton's decision to change her name followed weeks of her claiming to have exactly the same progressive positions as rival Democratic presidential candidate Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont, who continued to gain on Clinton in various polls of likely Democratic primary voters.