SANTA ROSA, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Five girls wearing makeshift scout uniforms recently stood before top Boy Scout brass in Santa Rosa, California, and made an announcement: We want in. Allie Westover, 13,  along with her sister Skyler and three friends -- Ella Jacobs, Daphen Mortenson and Taylor Alcozer --told a panel of men in…

According to results of a new Gallup poll released this week, a majority of respondents admit to lying or otherwise providing incorrect responses when contacted by the organization’s pollsters.

ARTISANAL PRESS — Facebook has added a Minnesota flag filter that users can superimpose on top of their profile pictures, as a gesture of solidarity after last night’s terrorist attack in Minneapolis.

COLUMBUS, OHIO (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, Republican presidential candidate and rabble-rousing billionaire Donald Trump burned the original U.S. Constitution while his supporters chanted "U-S-A" during a rowdy campaign rally. It was not initially clear how Trump obtained the actual Constitution, but the hallowed American document burned much faster than Trump had expected, resulting in minor burns to both of his hands while roving bands of Brownshirts for Trump physically assaulted non-white protesters in the crowd.

The American people have overwhelmingly given their support to Donald Trump's border wall but have said it's best if Donald Trump was contained instead.

The cries for Obama to resign for his foreign policy impotence grows deafening. At last week’s G-20 Summit, the Prez expressed his overarching strategy to combat terrorism, albeit unenthusiastically. I share his Low-T response. But why the militaristic sad face? …well, Reagan’s efforts to quell the Soviet Union helped create al-Qaeda and Bush’s efforts in Iraq helped create…

Members of the public expressed their gratitude today that the media conglomerate, Celestia, had finally ended speculation by: 'putting a f@#king number on the front of their f@#king building'. First time visitors, postmen and taxi drivers have hailed the move as finally putting a number: 'where you'd f@#king logically expect it'.

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don't have to, like: "David Hasselhoff changed name to David Hoff" - So, David Hoff is now "hassle free."

Richie is reportedly very devastated.

"You have the opportunity to ask profound questions like what is it like to be a bird? Or what is it like to fly? Or is there a bird God? And all you get it to say is Hello and Hi? Missed opportunity. If aliens come down to earth don't let that woman go to greet them is all I'm saying." Jessie Krufts, Humpty Pusher

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, President Obama spoke about how the Trans-Pacific Partnership - a massive multinational trade deal the president intends to sign - will protect the freedom of all Americans to drink poisonous fracking water. President Obama announced TPP will allow natural gas companies to sue the United States so they can overturn fracking bans and extract natural gas by pumping poisonous water into the ground, resulting in contaminated aquifers and other public water sources.

If Sheriff Jeff Wiley gets his way, citizens of Ascension Parish need not worry about Syrian refugees lowering trailer park property values or interfering with the parish’s prolific methamphetamine production.

When your relatives start rolling into their prepared speech about how they aren’t racist but need to tell you something about those filthy whoevers, fear not. The Red Shtick has a far more terrifying scenario for you to distract them with, much like one does with a puppy and a set of keys.

Sunny Weathers and Jeremy White sip tequila at El Rio Grande Mexican Restaurant as they discuss sports and the current three-ring circus that is Louisiana politics.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - Senate Democrats,  in an effort to head off legislation that would overhaul a program to take in Syrian and Iraqi refugees, are focusing instead on tightening a program that makes it easier for foreigners to travel to the U.S. without obtaining a visa. And Republicans are vehemently against the move. The visa…

"That is one devious dog owner. Sounds like a foreigner. Don't let him in the country." Jessie Krufts, Donald Trump Voter

We all need to take a moment and thank the students of Mizzou for ushering in this important moment of change. By banding together against the oppressive media incursion and blocking other people’s First Amendment rights in favor of their own, I’m pretty sure that marked the end of this generation’s P.C. cycle.

Gov. Bobby Jindal has issued an executive order that attempts to prevent the resettlement of Syrian refugees in Louisiana. What do you think about this?

When you cast your ballot, are you voting for a person or the team logo on that faceless candidate’s helmet? Are you voting for an individual with personal beliefs and motivations, or your team’s colors? Blue or red? Crip or Blood?

The Family Dinner’s Evan Rabalais joins Sunny Weathers and Jeremy White at El Rio Grande Mexican Restaurant to promote his new comedy show and contribute to the conversation about various happenings and goings on.