Members of the public expressed their gratitude today that the media conglomerate, Celestia, had finally ended speculation by: 'putting a f@#king number on the front of their f@#king building'. First time visitors, postmen and taxi drivers have hailed the move as finally putting a number: 'where you'd f@#king logically expect it'.
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don't have to, like: "David Hasselhoff changed name to David Hoff" - So, David Hoff is now "hassle free."
"You have the opportunity to ask profound questions like what is it like to be a bird? Or what is it like to fly? Or is there a bird God? And all you get it to say is Hello and Hi? Missed opportunity. If aliens come down to earth don't let that woman go to greet them is all I'm saying." Jessie Krufts, Humpty Pusher
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, President Obama spoke about how the Trans-Pacific Partnership - a massive multinational trade deal the president intends to sign - will protect the freedom of all Americans to drink poisonous fracking water. President Obama announced TPP will allow natural gas companies to sue the United States so they can overturn fracking bans and extract natural gas by pumping poisonous water into the ground, resulting in contaminated aquifers and other public water sources.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - Senate Democrats, in an effort to head off legislation that would overhaul a program to take in Syrian and Iraqi refugees, are focusing instead on tightening a program that makes it easier for foreigners to travel to the U.S. without obtaining a visa. And Republicans are vehemently against the move. The visa…
"That is one devious dog owner. Sounds like a foreigner. Don't let him in the country." Jessie Krufts, Donald Trump Voter
We all need to take a moment and thank the students of Mizzou for ushering in this important moment of change. By banding together against the oppressive media incursion and blocking other people’s First Amendment rights in favor of their own, I’m pretty sure that marked the end of this generation’s P.C. cycle.
They are also considered demeaning to women.
'It was my own fault', David Jackson said. 'I knew I only had two hours, but I lost track of time. The traffic warden was only doing his job, and I have only myself to blame'.
The New New World Order (A serial book excerpt) Previous installments: After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.
LOS ANGELES, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Remember Adele Dazeem, a.k.a. Idina Menzel, and her hit song 'Let It Go' from the animated film 'Frozen?' Of course you do. You must have been one of the millions who thought of the song as the most annoying ever. Not because it was not a great song, but…
PHOENIX, ARIZONA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and extremely bored billionaire Donald Trump invited Black Lives Matter activists to his "Dogs & Fire Hoses Rally" in Phoenix later this week in order to open a dialogue. Trump supporters are being encouraged to bring breeds of dogs usually used by law enforcement agencies from home - if they have them - to facilitate the exchange of ideas during the rally, but Black Lives Matter activists in Phoenix have told TNA they were told to only bring themselves.
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