WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the conservative think tank Work Harder America released the results of a study on the collapse of the middle class in America. The study clearly showed the wealthy paying less in taxes had nothing to do with the disappearing middle class, which simply needed to work harder for the wealth to trickle down to it.

Jihadist group ISIS have claimed responsibility for the huge turd which recently brought Brussels to a standstill. Belgian authorities declare 'Code Brown' as Jihadist 'Shit to Kill' tactics hit Metro.

PARIS, France (The Adobo Chronicles) - U.S. President Barack Obama has finally broken his silence over the Philippine presidential race that's turning out to be the most controversial ever in the political  history of the former American colony. Speaking to reporters in Paris where he is attending a world summit on climate change, Obama said, 'I…

Congress just passed a bill establishing new names for popular foods with Arab roots.

Jeb Bush’s campaign is hustling to do damage control after an exchange Sunday between Bush and John Dickerson on CBS's "Face the Nation" wherein Bush seemed to defend the idea that only a dynasty can save America.

A Missouri company is selling testicular prosthetic implants specially designed for Congress.

Republicans “furious” Benghazi not on agenda.  

Jihadists who fail to complete their missions of martyrdom are to be offered an innovative new exit strategy designed by Dignitas, the world leader in assisted suicide.

Delighting those who enjoy watching endless streams of photos and data flowing by a screen, several of the best-known social networking services have announced that they are merging to form the world’s largest waste of time.

The average person spends about 4 years out of their life on the toilet taking a dump.  That’s at about 10 minutes per day and we know that many of you out there are not average. 

There has been a growing number of people comparing Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump to Adolf Hitler. This is not a fair comparison, as evidenced by these 11 glaring differences between the two men.

After weeks of speculation and several reports indicating he would be fired after LSU’s season finale against Texas A&M, Les Miles will retain his job as head coach of the Tigers football team. What do you think about this?

On a somewhat Thanksgiving-themed episode from El Rio Grande Mexican Restaurant, Sunny Weathers and Jeremy White inform The Family Dinner’s David Vitrano that Latvia is, in fact, a real country that actually exists.

"The Department of Reality wants a plan that clearly shows how the Middle East is not completely destabilized by the reintroduction of large numbers of American ground forces. We know both ISIS and Syrian President Assad will be targeted, and also believe Iran will be next," stated Secretary of Reality Horace Green.

In all seriousness, today is a day we encourage our readers to donate to their favorite charities and raise awareness about HIV/AIDS (and avoid being deemed a "prick"). Don't know which one to choose? Check out the organizations that have been featured in Goodwink this year!

Flagstaff, AZ—A local meter maid disappeard under mysterious circumstances yesterday afternoon. She was later found stuffed like a pinatta with her own parking ticket pad. Police are questioning everyone in the town in alphabetical order. Breaking news: all police questioning will occur in reverse alphabetic order since a person named Zano submitted this story for…

'I pulled £27 Billion out of it last week and I reckon there could be more up there'.

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.

The Justice Department has confirmed that the man who attacked a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado Springs last week is part of a sprawling network of deranged individuals acting entirely on their own.

OAKLAND, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Just moments after basketball star Kobe Bryant of the L.A. Lakers announced that he will be retiring at the end of the current NBA season, The Golden State Warriors' Steph Curry shocked the sports world by announcing he is retiring effective immediately. "It's a matter of knowing when to quit,"…