Kabul, Afghanistan
NATO forces confirmed today that a Royal Air Force F-16 shot down the Prophet Mohammed crossing over into Afghanistan air space after ignoring requests that he turn around and head back to Pakistan.

In a complex conspiracy that even the host of Info Wars, Alex Jones, had trouble coming to grips with, the application to deliver content from his show turned out to be software that allowed Hillary Clinton to observe the movements of every single one of his fans.

All arty Aries, who still write with a feather quill, are at significant risk of running out of ink more than twice this month. Ensure stocks of ink are replenished immediately because this month there is a lot of artfully inscribed penmanship ahead.

There’s No Public Transit In His Town And He Has No Car!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)
Senior FBI investigators named ex-presidential candidate Hillary Clinton as a credible source in an ongoing look at election claims which used television ad bites to promote the Democratic party’s stance on certain controversial issues and uttering supposedly false charges against other candidates.

Sessions, who recused himself from a government investigation into ties between President Trump and Russia, was said to be absolutely livid over the ruling.

INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana (The Adobo Chronicles, Chicago Bureau) - Moments after Donald Trump hinted at naming Indiana Governor Mike Pence as his vice presidential running mate, the Log Cabin Republicans unanimously voted to dump the presumptive GOP presidential nominee. The GOP LGBT group announced its decision to instead vote for Hillary Clinton just days before Monday's Republican…

Video footage of Lindsey Graham engaging in what appears to be a sex act with a woman leaked onto the internet today, dispelling any suspicion and all possible future evidence that might suggest that the third-term Senator is gay, his office says.

NASA – (satireworld.com)
In the summer of 1969, The United States of America launched the Apollo 11 spaceflight. It landed on the moon on July 20th and Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon the next day. He was the followed by Buzz Aldrin. Training for the mission was done in Texas, California, Alabama, and Florida.

EDITORIAL Today, The Adobo Chronicles is pleased and honored to announce that we have decided to endorse Donald Trump to be the next president of the United States. While we normally do not engage in partisan politics in order to maintain our fairness and objectivity as a news organization, we are making this exception, just this time.…

Showing marked declines in all major categories, President Trump's latest polling numbers reveal that support for his performance in the White House has shrunk to mostly just meth heads.

Somewhere Out In TV Land – (satireworld.com)

Progressive Insurance….Who are they? You’ve seen and probably smiled at the clever Progressive Insurance TV commercials with bubble-headed Flo smiling away at the camera. Well, as Paul Harvey would say, “You’re about to learn the rest of the story”.

Stockholm, Sweden – (satireworld.com)

Swedish Olympic Athlete Ivana Phuque, who has won speed skating medals in the Winter Olympics and pole vaulting medals in the Summer Olympics, has decided to expand her activities to include golf. She will compete in the 2019 LPGA tour.

Migratory birds are arriving at their breeding grounds earlier than they previously did because they’ve bought into the liberal lie that global warming is real, according to researchers at Liberty University.

Peoria, IL -0 (satireworld.com)
An Illinois couple says they got a huge surprise after a burger run to their local McDonald’s.

Debbie and Hans Mirth ordered a double cheeseburger at the Golden Arches drive-thru. After returning home and unwrapping the meal, they discovered it contained real meat, Mirth told a reporter from local NBC affiliate WXCR

Though still commonly known as "Black History Month", February is now 65% Hispanic, a recent study has shown.

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com)

The kindergarten classes at Che Guevara Elementary School (formerly Ronald Reagan Elementary School) in Los Angeles, California was arrested, along with their teacher, as each child had a plastic straw in their juice box at lunch time. The juice boxes, brought from home and purchased by their parents, were from Minute Maid, Hi-C, Juicy Juice, Capri Sun, and several other companies.

PHILDELPHIA, Pennsylvania (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Much has been said about Melania Trump plagiarizing Michelle Obama's 2008 speech during the former's appearance at last week's Republican National Convention. But today, the same could be said about former President Bill Clinton when he spoke at the Democratic National Convention to make the case for his wife…

Now that Brett Kavanaugh has been confirmed to the US Supreme Court, justices were already looking forward to the devil may care attitude and the subsequent partying they are sure he will bring.

BREAKING NEWS!
The man who tried to kill President Ronald Reagan is set to go free, after a judge decided Wednesday to allow would-be assassin John Hinckley Jr. to live with his mother in Virginia full-time.