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WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) -  U.S. President Barack Obama is just one of the many dignitaries confirmed to attend the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) Summit to be held this month in Manila, Philippines. Recent  developments at Manila's Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) have sent chills to the international community and has prompted the U.S. State…
Are Man's Trousers Haunted by Evil Spirit of Sex Offender? Exorcism Performed on Possessed Pantaloons Following Paranormal Phenomena in Groin Area, Including Ectoplasm and Bizarre Bulging!
A collection of items that belonged to Margaret Thatcher are to be burned at a searing hot temperature of 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit.
Subject to judicial approval, of course.
The Prime Minister has come under fire for posting pictures on his Facebook page in which he appears to be going over the top in the Battle of the Somme, leading the charge of the Light Brigade, and defeating the French at Agincourt.
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
"Yay! I also love the whiney yelp they do when they get wet for the first time. YouTube, it's over to you."
Green Bay, WI – First time home buyer Veronica Brunwald, 28, has contacted a real estate agent to take her next step towards the American dream.  Brunwald has been working as a Medical Secretary at the BayCare Clinic and saving her money for 5 years.  She also does part-time snow removal on the side for some extra cash.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, staffers representing most of the Republican presidential candidates met to discuss the demands they will make of all future debates, but the meeting quickly focused on ponies. Staffers agreed every candidate should have a debate animal to sit on, and a majority of the presidential campaigns voted for debate ponies.
ROCK HILL, South Carolina ( The Adobo Chronicles ) - While the Republicans are working hard to exclude the liberal media from the GOP presidential debates, the Democrats have decided to be  more inclusive -- by including the candidates' spouses. The next debate -- technically being called a 'forum'  -- will be held Friday, November 6 at…
If only republicans could harness Rubio’s palpableness, or, in this case, his Palaptineness. I like to start off by not making sense, but let me explain how our democracy works today. Sorry that I used the words democracy and works and today in the same sentence. Boy, I’m off to a worse start than the Mets.…
The RFU got a post Halloween fright today when they realised that the Rugby World Cup went on after England's group stage exit, culminating in someone actually winning it.

‘I woke up on Monday morning in a cold sweat convinced I had left the lights on in my car or something,’ said organising Chairman Brian Yeoman. ‘I went downstairs, checked the car, then the back gate and few other things but still had that nagging doubt that I'd forgotten something. Then it hit me, I left the Rugby World Cup on and completely forgot about it!’
PORTLAND, OR — Tragedy struck last night as thousands of viewers watched live, when a freak accident left local TV news weatherman Alphonso Matte severely disfigured. An as-yet-undetermined malfunction with the station’s green screen technology, used to create the illusion that a weatherperson is standing in front of an animated display, is believed to be responsible.
FLORIDA (The Barbed Wire) - In a final effort to pump up his floundering poll numbers, Jeb! Bush has hired the Hillary Clinton campaign team to oversee a relaunch of his campaign. Since the Clinton team has relaunched Hillary's campaign six times in six months, Jeb! figured they were the right people for the job.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, presumptuous Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she was considering Dick Cheney for her old job at the U.S. Department of State. Clinton explained Cheney "made sense" as Secretary of State since her foreign policy would resemble the Cheney-inspired preemptive war policy used by President George W. Bush, and pointed to her consistent record of wanting to go to war with countries predominantly located in the Middle East and North Africa.
Anaheim, CA – Most of the nation’s foremost experts in the field of Christianity will meet in in November of 2016 to discuss a variety of key topics.  This meeting of the Christian Leadership Alliance will pull in only the best of the best to reflect specifically on the current ending of The Lord’s Prayer.
I may not cosplay on the first night, but I’ll be wearing a “Looking for love in Alderaan places” shirt, or something similar.
In a just world, if a building contractor installed a literal firewall as flimsy as the metaphorical one between candidates like Vitter and super PACs like FLF, he’d be arrested for attempted arson.

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