"Rebel Alliance President Trump will also refuse to call her 'General Leia,' especially since she got captured a bunch of times, and I only like people who don't get captured," asserted Trump. "Seriously, who lets Rosie O'Donnell's brother Jabba the Hutt take them prisoner?"

Parents who spank their children could benefit from a short-term reduction in stress levels, new research shows.
































































 
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‘I hear people call them warships and I laugh. These ships contain food and medical supplies for the people of Syria, they’re friendships. If you think they look scary then you should see our real warships,’ said the Russian President.

A local man is in police custody today after the corpses he was using to decorate his front yard for Halloween were determined by members of his homeowner's association to be actual dead bodies.
































































 
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Космодром Байконур – (SatireWorld.com)

Investigators have learned that Yuri Gagarin, the Russian Cosmonaut who was the first man to go into outer space and the first man to orbit the earth, was not alone on his historic flight. In fact, in their cockpit positioning, the other person would have been ahead of Gagarin into space by about 3 centimeters.

ATLANTA (The Barbed Wire) - CNN is going to wish they had never spent any time in the Democratic debate last week asking Hillary Clinton about releasing her transcripts for speeches she gave at Goldman Sachs - and speeches she charged an arm and a leg for. There are a few people in this world that would be worth spending $250,000 to hear their thoughts on life and the world, but Hillary Clinton is surely not one of them.

Already facing condemnation for spreading misinformation about COVID-19 and its vaccines, podcaster Joe Rogan sparked new controversy today for lending his platform to a man claiming diabetes is not a real disease.
































































 
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Knowing that he could probably use some cheering up, comedian Bill Cosby reportedly shared an inspirational kitten posting with producer Harvey Weinstein.

Britain's peadophiles complain that too many unaccompanied refugee children arriving in UK are actually adults. Demand tougher age tests to ensure that the government only save the children for them, not over age impostors.

After an image was released to the public of Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Charles, Prince William and Price George, the British public reacted warmly to the cheeky grin on the young Prince George’s face. It’s a public reaction that has not sat well with his grandfather, Charles.

The collapse, which began with a pedestrian 5% decline of the Dow at the opening bell, soon saw the index crash through every level of support on its way to a sub-zero close for the day, the first time it has been at or below that level since its founding in 1885.































































 
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New Uber-like app Stiff Shifters offering to provide customers with hearse within fifteen minutes for cut price funeral services under fire from users. Mourners claim 'hearses' have included ice cream vans and complain of coffins carried on roof racks.

(SatireWorld.com)

The FBI is probing new emails related to Hillary Clinton, FBI Director James Comey said in a Friday letter to lawmakers upon which many on Capitol Hill considered a re-opening of the Hillary server investigation that was closed in early July by Director Comey. That action was considered partisan politics and cast a dark shadow over the career of many top FBI officials.

The average American pick-up truck has gained 1,142 pounds since 1990. The average American, about the same. The average Phish tune, in concert, added nearly two minutes around its middle, and personal pizzas got 25 percent larger. Go big or go home: The 11th Commandment writ large.

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - Manila is all set for this week's Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) Summit which will see some 21 world leaders gathering for this annual meeting. The Philippines is leaving no stone unturned to make sure the meeting will be memorable and hassle-free for the expected  8,000 delegates from all over…

The dog, whom belonged to Heseltine’s mother and must remain anonymous for legal reasons, is believed to have bitten the Lord after going ‘bad’ for no reason, as well looked after dogs often do.

Left-leaning fashionistas are going crazy for the hottest new accessory, a free undergarment called the Bernie Bra.

Did the Queen jump out of her coffin at lying in state as practical joke before expiring again? Did those viewing coffin experience healing miracles? Top psychologist claims UK spent period of Royal mourning in state of hysteria, hallucinating late monarch as saint-like figure, as a 'Royal Death Cult' gripped nation.

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) - In less than 24 hours after revealing its choice for 2015 'Sexiest Man Alive,'  People magazine revised its verdict and made it a three-way tie. Earlier, People named former soccer star David Becham to this year's much-coveted title.  But as the magazine cover featuring the 40-year-old global superstar was about…

In a startling revelation today, a congressional investigation was launched to examine whether a KGB officer played right field for the Dodgers in the NLCS.