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WOLFSBURG, Germany (The Adobo Chronicles) - Apple faces some serious competition for its new product, the Apple Watch, and it's coming from an automaker, Volkswagen. Volkswagen, the world's largest automaker, is in deep trouble over its rigging of diesel engine emissions tests in America and Europe. The company falsified U.S. pollution tests by installing software ("defeat devices")…
Cupertino, CA –  Tim Cook grinned as he signed off on the 2016 plan for Apple Corporation.  He pulled out his $2000 dollar pen and scribbled his signature and agreement to the plan of making a shitload more money in the coming year.
Luxembourg propeller planes bombed Syria today, joining a long and growing list of nations to have done so this year.
How you choose to inform people of your illness changes the actual severity of that illness...
A man was left shocked and insulted after completing an activity without a request to ‘evaluate his experience’ on-line for a chance to win something.
by Michael Egan.Police say Huckleberry Finn was spotted floating down the Mississippi with a fugitive African-American immigrant agricultural worker. HANNIBAL, MO – Lovable scamp Huckleberry Finn, whose childhood “adventures” were celebrated by best-selling American author Mark Twain, was shot dead by Missouri police today. Mr Twain, who now resides permanently in an up-state New York cemetery, was [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) - At Tuesday's CNN Democratic debate, the issue of casino capitalism was front and center when moderator Anderson Cooper asked Senator Bernie Sanders if he considered himself a socialist. During the debate, Sanders defended democratic socialism and declared he was not a capitalist. "Do I consider myself part of the casino…
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and billionaire Donald Trump announced the formation of Brownshirts for Trump, an elite club for his most enthusiastic supporters. The Republican frontrunner explained members of the Brownshirts will wear brown shirts and engage in political outreach operations - mainly at night - to interact with non-Trump supporters, those with "anti-American political ideas," and "anyone who doesn't look American."
A conkers match in a local primary school had to be stopped today after three children bruised their little feet, according to witnesses at the scene.
Las Vegas –  Bad ass Marine and democratic hopeful James Henry Webb Jr. generally kept his cool Tuesday evening in the city of sin.  He moved his lips and made some incredibly compelling snake-like hand gestures that played well with voters. 
MADISON, Wisconsin (The Adobo Chronicles) - If you have an iPhone 5S, 6 or 6 Plus, or the later generation iPad, you could be receiving a recall email message from Apple. A U.S. jury on Tuesday found the company accountable for using processor chip  technology owned by the University of Wisconsin-Madison without permission  in many of…
Does David Cameron's 'Assault on Poverty' Herald the Violent Elimination of Britain's Poor? Top Anti-Poverty Campaigner Claims Tories Planning Mass Murder of Benefits Claimants in Order to Eliminate Poverty.
PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations announced it was exiling former Governor Lincoln Chafee to Block Island, located approximately 13 miles south of the Rhode Island coast, following his performance at last night's Democratic presidential debate. Rhode Island Governor Gina Raimondo announced Chaffee - who was also mayor of the state's second largest city before representing Rhode Island as a US Senator - was being exiled due to a public outcry in response to his "highly embarrassing...
ANGELES CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - The president of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP)  reiterated the Church’s call for voters not to elect corrupt candidates to office. “Sinners can be forgiven but you cannot forgive the corrupt," Bishop Socrates Villegas said. “If we say that corruption is one of our nation’s deepest scars…
Saying that everyone who works in the field of finance and banking deserves a living high wage, workers from New York’s financial district are striking this week in support of a $150 hourly minimum wage.
Cream, sugar, even shots of flavored syrup — it's sickening, in its vapid herd-like mediocrity.
The decision on the monkey-selfie has unexpected consequences...
Burlington, VT—Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) told The Discord today he supports both medical marijuana and the decriminalization of cannabis. Senator Sanders is also open to the recreational use of marijuana for the strict purpose of increasing the creativity of a certain group of spoof news bloggers, “who really seem to suck without it.” Sanders told…
The National Children's Bureau for the Bleeding Obvious has discovered that dicking around on the Xbox rather than doing your homework, might be a barrier to academic greatness. By contrast research initiated by all teenagers, has revealed that all work and no play makes Jack a ‘swot who no one invites to parties’.

These almost contrasting conclusions have split scientists; particularly those who spend all day starring at data on a computer screen in the hope of proving that starring at a computer screen is bad for you.

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