Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and U.S. Senator Ted Cruz of Texas declared he was avoiding political attacks on opponent and billionaire Donald Trump in order to woo Trump's supporters after they have dumped Trump. Cruz conceded it was critical for him to gain the support of what he called "the growing fascist segment of the Republican Party.

Officials with United Airlines admit they lost track of a New Orleans man’s white privilege after he was asked to check it at the gate before boarding a direct flight to San Francisco last week.

A spokesperson for Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign is asking the public to reserve judgment, saying that the candidate has not yet assumed his final, terrifying form.

Beijing air pollution is forcing residents inside and underground.

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) - According to the Christian faith, every human being born in this world is born a sinner, and in the Roman Catholic Church, it takes a miracle to be canonized a saint in a long and tedious process. But Kim Kardashian and Kanye West defy dogma and centuries-old tradition…

On May 22 MSNBC’s Chris Hayes expressed amazement that he has heard no response from the NRA to a smart gun “truce” offered them on May 5 by a New Jersey State senator who is at the forefront of anti-gun activity in her state.

Take part in our brilliant Donald Trump sweepstakes as we guess what the probable Republican candidate for president will say next... Just print out and cut out each line and have fun

"All UFO abductions must be investigated"

"I will make Arnold Schwartzenegger illegal"

"Brillo Pads will be renamed Trump Pads in honor of my brilliant hairdo"

An open letter asking Stan Kroenke to bring the St. Louis Rams back to their original home, which is not on the West Coast.

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (Exclusive to The Adobo Chronicles) - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump said he didn't care about political correctness when he called for banning all Muslims from entering the United States, despite condemnations from The White House, his fellow Republican candidates, and Muslim communities in the U.S. and abroad. But it took a short but…

“Bruce” Caitlyn Jenner was said to be mortified after his offer in the Antiques section of eBay to sell his member to the highest bidder went relatively unnoticed despite a ‘buy it now’ price of $69.95” was generally ignored by collectors!

"I would be invincible with trunks like that." Jimmy Popper, Trunks Designer

Scientists have discovered traces of human DNA in the auditorium where Donald Trump held a boisterous and offensive rally earlier today.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-WI-01) confirmed he was just as bad at his job as his predecessor, because the federal government was almost certain to shut down at the end of the week. Ryan asserted he may actually be worse than Boehner due to his over willingness to allow ultra-extreme-right-wing Republicans to have their Teabagger tantrum over Planned Parenthood and Obamacare, and callously harm veterans, the elderly, the poor, at-risk children, the sick and disabled, and many other groups that depend on government assistance simply to survive.

A senior officer in the Atheist Secular Army stands accused of committing war crimes in the decadeslong war against Christmas.

The views expressed in this video are not necessarily the views of The Daily Discord, which is odd because it’s our video.  

Despite being spotted Christmas shopping together in Hamley’s toy store this week, then collecting salads at the Rainforest Café, the Braggs continue to deny a father and son relationship.

Doc says it’s normal, but Caitlyn Jenner not amused Every morning, Caitlyn Jenner wakes up from dreams of starring in a Lifetime original movie, only to find that her penis...

PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania (The Adobo Chronicles) - Newsroom layoffs have finally caught up with the Philadelphia Daily News, particularly the lack of headline writers and copy editors.  Case in point: today's front page. The Daily News ran a front page cover with a photo of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump and his latest pronouncement calling for the banning of…

"Show him how to do a single summersault next." Jimmy Popper, Circus Trainer