Check Please!
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Florida Governor Rick Scott (R) threw his support behind a new voter I.D. bill that aims to be the strictest in the nation. The "Voting Responsibly Bill," or "HB 2016," was introduced by Florida House Speaker Steve Crisafulli (R - District 51) and will only allow a Republican National Committee (RNC) membership card to be an acceptable form of identification for Florida voters.
Kim Davis is free. And it didn't come without thousands of supporters rallying outside the Carter County Detention Center and a visit from Old MacDonald. Kim Davis expressed her desire to get back to her post as a county clerk, but what she discovered upon her release from jail was devastating.
'Perhaps in the heat of the moment my saying civilisation would end if he became leader was a little hasty and that my saying anyone who voted for him was a moron was misquoted and out of context.

Actually some of my friends are raving lefty loonies, er - I mean principled comrades...
by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
"Well, I'd rather be possessed than obese." Jessie Krufts, Fat Shamer
ROWAN COUNTY, Kentucky (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - In her first interview since being put  behind bars for defying the Supreme Court ruling ordering her to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis answered questions posed by The Adobo Chronicles®. (She made it very clear that she was granting us the interview "under…
ROWAN COUNTY, KENTUCKY (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Mathew Staver - the lawyer representing jailed Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis, who refuses to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples out of hatred for America and the Constitution - announced he had "never actually read" the Constitution or "learned about the Supreme Court" prior to Sunday when he "made the time" to do so. The former Dean of the Liberty University School of Law confessed, "I have made a terrible mistake, and a complete ass of myself for claiming the Supreme Court does not have the authority to order federal and state offi
CUPERTINO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - The stage is set for Apple's big announcement of its new products.  September 9 is the date when CEO Tim Cook unveils the new smart phones and tablets which would definitely seal his company's status as the leader in computer technology. While much of the speculation revolves around the…
Lake Jackson, TX – Ron Paul has given up his bid to become Commander In Chief and frankly doesn’t have high hopes for his son, Rand.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, Republican presidential candidate and Governor of Wisconsin Scott Walker announced his campaign would be running a Labor Day sale on all its lead-based Chinese merchandise assembled by child laborers. Walker supporters who acted today will get 30% off all patriotic-themed Walker 2016 items, receive free shipping, and be gifted a video of Scott Walker burning prominent late 19th century and early 20th century labor organizer Mary Harris "Mother" Jones in effigy.
A medicated 16 year-old boy calmly strolled into a Dick's Sporting Goods in Tempe, Arizona and shot everyone inside this afternoon, killing 7 and wounding 5.
"That is terrifying if you reverse it. Eeek. Attacked by a squawking dead duck flying through the air into his hand... I won't sleep for a week after watching that backwards." Jessie Krufts, Producer
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump today accused Israel's Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of being a 'copycat.' Israel has begun building a fence along part of the country’s eastern border with Jordan as Syrian civil war refugees and other migrants flee their countries. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Sunday:…
Responding to mockery she faced after saying that immigrants should learn to “speak American” if they want to live in the U.S., Sarah Palin is arguing that she has been unfairly maligned by the media.
The BBC started filming the prequel to Lady Chatterley's Lover, by DH Lawrence, in Lower under Haye, Monday, sources close to the kennels have revealed.
GRAYSON, KENTUCKY (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, hundreds rallied outside of the Carter County Detention Center where Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis had been held since Thursday for contempt of court for refusing to issue a marriage license to any same-sex couple. Supporters prayed for Davis, pledged thousands of dollars to her, and were in unanimous agreement that "freedom of religion would not be under attack" if "Jesus Christ was president again."
Barney Google googled Google just to ogle the googles about Gooble.
The googles that Google googled had oodles of googles about Google.
There is a gargantuan glossary of googles about Googles.
Gaggles of Google groupies google Google all the time.
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - You can't run for president of the United States and be silent about a worsening international crisis like the exodus of Syrian refugees trying  to escape torture and violence perpetrated by a repressive regime. But for Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, it is such a huge dilemma…
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the results of a TNA survey of registered Republicans who lived in poverty in Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana were released. The numbers showed a staggering 87% of respondents favored cutting taxes for the wealthiest Americans, because they were "job creators" who needed even more money before trickle-down economics could rain money on a collapsing middle class and growing poor population.
SACRAMENTO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Forget about the proposed ballot initiative creating four Californias. How about making the Golden State an independent republic? It's just a matter of time before the world's eighth largest economy  will become a country separate from the rest of the United States. Already, there is a growing consensus especially among…

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