BETHESDA, Maryland (The Adobo Chronicles) - In his first major health warning since assuming the post of U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek H. Murthy has confirmed that texting is detrimental to the health of Americans. "The repetitive movement of the thumbs while texting causes nerve damage similar to that of carpal tunnel," Murthy said. "It is…
WASHINGTON (The Barbed Wire) - In a press conference today, President Obama laid out his latest vision for defeating terror in the Middle East and restoring a feeling of safety among Americans here at home. The president seemed more serious in his remarks today, and his rhetoric was the harshest he's used on the subject to date.
A rejuvenated Barack Obama jumped out on stage like a young James Brown in front of a mostly live audience in DC today to announce that ....“Thanks to ME, the economy is back, the world is Tranquil, the RESET worked, and John Kerry should win the Nobel Prize!”
Shouts of ‘you lie’ and ‘BULL SHIT” were drowned out by paid political supporters bused in from a local unemployment office having multiple orgasms.
Shouts of ‘you lie’ and ‘BULL SHIT” were drowned out by paid political supporters bused in from a local unemployment office having multiple orgasms.
The Web only makes sense in the World Beyond! Liberate yourself from the Tyranny of Logic!
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, TNA released a report following its consultation with Second Amendment experts from every academic corner of the United States regarding the "well regulated militia." The scholars confirmed the Second Amendment was not referring to treasonous militias formed in a friend's backyard to overthrow the government, but well-regulated militias run by state governments.
"My nightmare is that one of their little heads goes right up my shorts when I'm not looking." Jimmy Popper, Disasterologist
HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - For Star Wars fanatics, it has been customary to see the film screenings at theaters dressed in their favorite characters, be it Darth Vader or Yoda. But times have changed, thanks to increased threats of foreign and domestic terrorism. So for those planning to see the latest series of the…
Virtual Space—Earlier today at SyntheTech University four computers were hacked to death and ten comment-sections were interrupted. A virtual assailant systematically stormed from room-to-virtual room unleashing malware and hate-thread speech. This incident, that many are calling an act of anti-liberalism, caused Syntax and Registry errors from C# to C++. The barrage of politically incorrect language left hundreds of coddled liberal…
Questions include 'Are you a terrorist?' 'Does your vest contain large amounts of semtex?' and 'Do you have a funny-shaped beard?'
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.
Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)
The Obama administration has given instructions to the Immigration and Naturalization Service, the Border Patrol, Customs, and the Department of Homeland Security to hold and arrest Santa Claus if he is seen entering the United States on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Additionally, an all points bulletin and arrest warrants have been issued by the F.B.I for Santa (alias Kris Kringle, alias St. Nick).
The Obama administration has given instructions to the Immigration and Naturalization Service, the Border Patrol, Customs, and the Department of Homeland Security to hold and arrest Santa Claus if he is seen entering the United States on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Additionally, an all points bulletin and arrest warrants have been issued by the F.B.I for Santa (alias Kris Kringle, alias St. Nick).
NEWTOWN, CONNECTICUT (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, an American society boasting informed, healthy citizens dismissed the rantings of Sandy Hook conspiracy theorists, who either denied the December 14th, 2012 mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School took place, or asserted it was a false flag operation perpetrated by the federal government as a pretext to seize guns. Americans united against such naked extremism, because their society was not rotting from the inside out due to racial and religious conflicts stoked by the rich and exacerbated by protracted catastrophic economic...
Over at TW&TW I’ve written a piece about the rhetoric of evil. Meanwhile here, I thought I’d make David Cameron’s Christmas card look a little more festive.
Was accepting Syrians a ploy to help the Leafs this season?
Emotional scenes in London after negotiators finally reached a deal with Simon Cowell to release X-Factor contestants back to their families after six months of gruelling captivity.
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