‘We fully support all nation’s right to self-determination and identity but also reserve to the right to act like a petulant teenager, who has just been dumped. We’re going to get emotional closure on this. Need I remind you that the US has been obscured from view by a collection of fuzzy-felt stickers since 1776’?

“The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets” is a new collection of hundreds of comic Tweets by funny people.

Vatican City, Rome – (satireworld.com)

Unchanged since the 1500’s, it’s rare to see a melding together of tradition and modernity as it is realized in the Papal Swiss Guards. The core mission is traditional: since 1506 they have protected the Pope and his residence in the Holy City. Unfortunately, the Swiss Guard’s weapons have not changed in over 500 years.

Along with 50 other lucky people, I was chosen by some hackers to watch a pirated version of “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” in a Detroit squat. Yes, the movie is totally cool, and yes, I started sobbing three seconds into the opening sequence.

The Rubio and Cruz campaigns announced this morning that, finally, after months of speculation, that the two candidates with hold a no-holds barred death match.

Almost too much fun and excitement under one festive roof, everyone!

BETHESDA, Maryland (The Adobo Chronicles) - In his first major health warning since assuming the post of U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek H. Murthy has confirmed that texting is detrimental to the health of Americans. "The repetitive movement of the thumbs while texting causes nerve damage similar to that of carpal tunnel," Murthy said. "It is…

Little Rock, AR – (satireworld.com)

Their 12-year affair made Gennifer Flowers one of the most high profile mistresses in America. Now, two decades after they split amid scandal, the former news reporter from Little Rock, Arkansas wants to ‘sit down and talk’ with Bill Clinton.

WASHINGTON (The Barbed Wire) - In a press conference today, President Obama laid out his latest vision for defeating terror in the Middle East and restoring a feeling of safety among Americans here at home. The president seemed more serious in his remarks today, and his rhetoric was the harshest he's used on the subject to date.

Decades before Barbie led generations of young girls to believe that beautiful women had fixed elbows and breasts with no nipples, a simple rag doll was already promoting unrealistic standards of beauty.

A rejuvenated Barack Obama jumped out on stage like a young James Brown in front of a mostly live audience in DC today to announce that ....“Thanks to ME, the economy is back, the world is Tranquil, the RESET worked, and John Kerry should win the Nobel Prize!”

Shouts of ‘you lie’ and ‘BULL SHIT” were drowned out by paid political supporters bused in from a local unemployment office having multiple orgasms.

The Web only makes sense in the World Beyond! Liberate yourself from the Tyranny of Logic!

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, TNA released a report following its consultation with Second Amendment experts from every academic corner of the United States regarding the "well regulated militia." The scholars confirmed the Second Amendment was not referring to treasonous militias formed in a friend's backyard to overthrow the government, but well-regulated militias run by state governments.

Warsaw, Poland-(satireworld.com)
Jurors in the famous accordion lawsuit case rendered a surprise decision when they found for the plaintiff in a 700,000,000 Zloty lawsuit against one of the area's largest employers.

"My nightmare is that one of their little heads goes right up my shorts when I'm not looking." Jimmy Popper, Disasterologist

HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - For Star Wars fanatics, it has been customary to see the film screenings at theaters dressed in their favorite characters, be it Darth Vader or Yoda. But times have changed, thanks to increased threats of foreign and domestic terrorism. So for those planning to see the latest series of the…

Virtual Space—Earlier today at SyntheTech University four computers were hacked to death and ten comment-sections were interrupted. A virtual assailant systematically stormed from room-to-virtual room unleashing malware and hate-thread speech. This incident, that many are calling an act of anti-liberalism, caused Syntax and Registry errors from C# to C++.  The barrage of politically incorrect language left hundreds of coddled liberal…

Questions include 'Are you a terrorist?' 'Does your vest contain large amounts of semtex?' and 'Do you have a funny-shaped beard?'

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)
The Obama administration has given instructions to the Immigration and Naturalization Service, the Border Patrol, Customs, and the Department of Homeland Security to hold and arrest Santa Claus if he is seen entering the United States on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Additionally, an all points bulletin and arrest warrants have been issued by the F.B.I for Santa (alias Kris Kringle, alias St. Nick).