In a deal many republicans are calling “reckless” and “shortsighted”, The Department of Defense has traded the last of the Guantanamo detainees to the Colorado Avalanche. This move follows other controversial deals that have scattered the prisoners into several teams across the National Hockey League. One detainee is already in critical condition after being ‘Zamboni-boarded’ between periods by his own teammates. Senator…
Desmond, Tegan and Wendy are among the future storm names affecting the UK and Ireland chosen by members of the public to be replaced as Abigail and Barney were largely ignored.
23 years of patient chastity and faith were rewarded for local single Meagan Goldschmidt this week when God appointed her a male partner through ChristianSingles.com.
Fancy trousers have sold out all over London and online retailers are struggling to meet demand after a recent surge and there's still a month to go before Christmas, feared fancy trouser specialists today.
SEEKONK, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Today, a Massachusetts man who identified himself as "a hugely patriotic American" accused President Obama of acting like Hitler for forcing states to take Syrian refugees fleeing from the Islamic State. Thomas Basil, a construction worker and married father of two, subsequently told TNA he supported the idea of forcing Muslims in the United States to wear badges that identify them as Muslims - an idea endorsed by Republican presidential candidate and loose cannon billionaire Donald Trump.
Las Vegas, NV—It’s been awhile since I’ve paid homage to the Guinness Gods, but I wish I was returning to this topic under better circumstances. I bring terrible news. It’s not about the Mets; it’s much worse. Guinness is taking the trace amounts of fish bladder from their famous malt-roasted magic. I know, I know,…
They come in their dozens to lay cards and wreaths at the site of the crash. Among them, some simple pansies tied to a fence with a card bearing the single inscription 'why?' Next to that, another card with what appears to be the explanation 'Because he walked into the path of a lorry'.
HT Exclusive: We have the Putin and Assad transcript! A most intriguing phone call between the two most-beloved dictators in the world.
CHICAGO, Illinois (The Adobo Chronicles) - Last year, Miley Cyrus sparked outrage with her Bangerz tour when she groped backup dancers and encouraged the audience to smoke marijuana. But on Thursday night, the former Disney star upped her on-stage antics, kicking off her Dead Petz club gigs in Chicago with a big bang. In one number, Cyrus…
Publicly embarrassed by a toxic spill caused by its own negligent actions, the EPA took to the offensive today, seeing no other way to save face. They have provided America with a list of demands and have threatened that more rivers are going to “get the Animas treatment” unless
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she was drafting all of her campaign donors between the ages of 18 and 25 for ground combat roles in the war she planned to fight against the Islamic State (ISIS) following her inauguration in 2017. Clinton touted her gender inclusiveness in the process, and noted both men and women were being automatically volunteered for military service to fight in her future Middle East wars of choice.
Following on from the news that Prime Minister David Cameron and his senior ministers are to get their own plane for official trips, Downing Street have also announced a flurry of new ministerial vehicles.
All senior ministers will have access to a fleet of Maybach chauffeur driven cars (provided by Knight enterprises); a refitted train (believed to be formerly the Hogwarts express); a luxury ministerial yacht and speedboat; a number of 'Airwolf' helicopters; and Thunderbird 2.
All senior ministers will have access to a fleet of Maybach chauffeur driven cars (provided by Knight enterprises); a refitted train (believed to be formerly the Hogwarts express); a luxury ministerial yacht and speedboat; a number of 'Airwolf' helicopters; and Thunderbird 2.
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - There were only twenty world leaders who showed up at the welcome rites for the Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation Summit Meeting Wednesday afternoon. There should have been twenty one. Missing was U.S. President Barack Obama. In a statement explaining Obama's absence, a spokesperson for the U.S. Embassy in Manila said…
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the corporate media in the United States urged Americans "to remember how wicked awesome and fun" going to war was when President George W. Bush invaded Iraq in 2003 with absolutely no plan for what to do afterward. For those unconvinced, spurious corporate journalists like everyone on Fox News and CNN's Wolf Blitzer spent the day fearmonging, and interviewed a slew of pro-war guests to convince Americans the Islamic State (ISIS) was so scary the United States must immediately send ground troops back to the Middle East.
Washington—Congress has advanced a bill encouraging people from war-ravaged parts of the Middle East to: “Stay the F put and make the best of it.” This bill also caps the number of refugees arriving from this region of the world to four. Those four lucky new Americans must agree to be blessed with Holy Water as…
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