Hollywood,CA – (satireworld.com)
Network executives leaked to the press today the schedule for the upcoming reality series “Who Wants To Be a Hilton?” The show will star the mother of the famous Hilton sisters and will try to turn a group of middle, lower, and classless people into upper caste classless socialites without morals (or many clothes, for that matter).

MENLO PARK, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Jose Bureau) - The Onion, considered the father (or mother) of fake news is the first victim of Facebook's crackdown announced earlier by Mark Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg announced a 7-point plan which he says will combat the spread of fake news on the popular social network.      Many people have complained…

Two movies titled Hitman enter, only one will leave (with its title) as Herman Davis, David Vitrano, and Robert Rau watch the Timothy Olyphant video game adaptation and a 70s blaxploitation film to determine which deserves the title Hitman.

The skies over Tallahassee bloomed with fireworks last night as Florida brought its commemoration of Black History Week to a close with a bang.

Trump credits "big brain," "hugely big hands" for solving America's opioid epidemic.

Guns are making their way under millions of Christmas trees as Santa Claus' everywhere add new additions to their gun safes.
Sales driven on by the Obama anti-gun crowd has made gun gifting sexy and a modern twist on popular support for the 2nd Amendment.

ALVIN, TX - A gunman opened fire on an outlet mall in a Houston-area outlet mall this morning, killing nine people and wounding ten more before being shot dead by another mass shooter firing on the same mall, authorities said.

Trump Transition Team, NY – (SatireWorld.com)

President-elect Donald Trump spoke with reporters for a few minutes today before leaving for Manhattan. He spoke of his immediate plans upon taking the oath of office in January.

​Perpetually​ on the lookout for ​another ​market niche, the greeting card giant​, Hallmark, Inc. has ​unveiled​ a new entry: cards for motherfuckers.

For centuries, but even more so over the past few years as governments have finally started to acknowledge encounters with extraterrestrial spacecraft, humans have been wondering over the intentions of our alien visitors...

A Baton Rouge woman spotted purchasing several containers of newly reintroduced Blue Bell Ice Cream said she believes the risk posed by Syrian refugees is too great to allow them into the country.

Let’s get the lights on in Africa! I don't know what we're waiting for.

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Either Hollywood actors Kal Penn and Dave Patel are twin brothers separated at birth, or they are one and the same person. The Wall Street Journal's Pulitzer Prize winning film reviewer, Joe Morgenstern recently wrote a piece on the movie 'Lion,' which stars Patel (Slumdog Millionnare),…

Cleveland, OH – (SatireWorld.com)
A bingo hall in Cleveland announced plans to hold Catholic church services in their basement. Owner of the Grace Bingo Parlor said that this practice would begin in early June and would continue as long as the church services were successful and well attended.

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - President-elect Donald Trump's phone conversations with world leaders have created jitters among members of the diplomatic community. Trump's unorthodox and naive calls with, for instance, the leaders of Pakistan and Kazakhstan may have put the United States' official position on and relationships with the two countries at…

Corporate media consumers were urged to continue watching the developing story so they could appreciate how afraid they needed to be, and how terrorism must be the automatic assumption when the cause of a tragedy was not immediately known.​

Exhaustive research by the professionals at the Canard Press newsroom has come up with the following seven no-fail tips to help you get through the day.

Facing a life sentence for his crimes, Father Christmas might just have emptied his sack for the very last time.

Berlin, Germany (satireworld.com)
Mohammed says he doesn’t miss Syria any longer, especially the daily threats of violence and a life filled with occasional chaos. Today, Mohammed gets up every morning and drives his new S-series Mercedes Benz to his custodial job at the Entomology Center at Nordic Peoples Pharmaceutical Company in suburban Berlin, where he cleans laboratories and keeps the floors highly waxed.

Al Franken, dogged by multiple, mistaken harassment claims and photographic evidence, bravely faced the public and released a statement of apology–privately, through his representative.