Check Please!
SAN FRANCISCO, California ( The Adobo Chronicles® ) - You've heard the phrase, "Don't mess with Texas," before. But Californians have just made one thing clear to The New York Times and to the world: "Don't mess with Guacamole!" California  avocado growers, taqueria owners, and guacamole fans criticized NYT for suggesting that people add English green peas…
Donald Trump’s hair said today that it won’t be running for the presidency unlike the dickhead known as Donald Trump upon which it sits.
bThe news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
large crowd gathered to watch the big screen at Wimbledon, now dubbed ‘Timmy’s telly’, as Henman made his commentating debut on the Woman's singles game between Li and Rodionova. However, he was completely out-analysed by Francesco Nova, who was making his debut for SportItalia.
Animals, some as hairy as dogs, are all panting with their tongues out in an attempt to cool down this week as temperatures soar to boiling point in some parts of the country.
Albuquerque, NM – Nelson Rimsplat has been unemployed now for several months.  He was fired from his job at the Albuquerque Zoo for ‘behaviors inappropriate and not in line with the the Zoo’s image.’  For the 3 year Train Zoo Conductor, the firing has given him a sense of liberation.
Donald Trump has had a rough month. After making racist remarks about Mexicans, the GOP presidential candidate and real estate tycoon lost his TV deal with Univision and had his menswear line at Macy's dumped. But Trump is anything but a defeatist, and his staff says he's now "en fuego."
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): Supreme Court Justices Anthony M. Kennedy and Antonin Scalia threw punches at each other earlier today. The brief fistfight between the two erupted in the Court Chamber and involved the Court's 5-4 decision on Obergefell v. Hodges, which effective legalized gay marriage across the country.
"Our investigation has uncovered incontrovertible evidence that this entire operation has been run from the start by the Alberta Ministry of Economic Development. I am deeply disappointed in this shameful exploitation of American consumers by an ostensibly law-abiding country like Canada," he added. "Shame, shame, Canada."
The Department of Homeland Security is asking the public to stop spreading images of hybrid Confederate-LGBT rainbow flags.
BATON ROUGE, Louisiana (The Adobo Chronicles®) - What if they held a beauty pageant and nobody watched it? Well, that's exactly what was going to happen to the Miss U.S.A. and Miss Universe pageants after NBC Universal and Univision both severed their relationship with pageant owner Donald Trump. The two networks fired Trump after his…
Intelligence officials have closed down sections of the UK’s capital, in order to stage a simulation of the terror conditions that will occur in the wake of the Wimbledon Champion ‘choking in the quarter finals’.

The exercise involves 1,000 police officers, all of whom have been instructed to ‘taser on sight’ anyone seen weeping into a punnet of strawberries.
An exclusive pre-publication look at ‘Insincerely Yours’ by Brian Williams. People, are you ready for a treat? Here’s a first look at Brian Williams’ new book Insincerely Yours, for readers ages 10-14, on sale Dec. 6th. You can read an exclusive excerpt below, available nowhere else!
In an effort to avoid a complete financial meltdown, Greece announced today that it is leaving the Euro and converting to the Gyro. With an economy that's just a tad bit larger than that of Oregon's, the Greek government decided that it's just too small to handle the Euro
Aries: The moon is set to eclipse Pluto this month but you won't notice this because Pluto is not visible in the sky even if you squint. Even so, this will play havoc on any of your transport plans and indicates considerable difficulty driving, flying and walking. Take extra precautions when walking around corners on the 6th.
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari): Louisiana Governor Piyush "Bobby" Jindal announced today he intended to perform an exorcism on the hair of fellow Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. The exorcism on the demon-possessed locks was requested by Trump, who heard Jindal had performed an exorcism on a friend while he attended Brown University.
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles®) - Police officers, for the most part, are rewarded or promoted for going beyond the "call of duty." But not this officer with the New York Police Department (NYPD).  He got fired. The still unnamed officer went beyond  his call of duty on Sunday by dancing with a gay man…
by Will Durst.The Confederate rebel flag has been the source of controversy with a regularity approaching that of a Madonna comeback album. Since its reintroduction on the grounds of the South Carolina Capitol in 1961 to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the start of the Civil War, the Confederate rebel flag has been the source of controversy [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
A survey of UK incomes has confirmed that people with real jobs - defined by the government as ones they can explain to their parents - are destined to scrape along just above poverty levels until death, while total arseholes doing socially useless things that mean nothing to nobody have to compensate for their unpopularity with industrial quantities of loot.

Since 2003, HumorFeed has been the web's best independent satire news and humor news hub. Our content is provided by an association of carefully selected writers, dedicated to providing some of the best and sharpest material online.

The web's best network of satire news sites
Bending the news until it breaks!


Get today's toon from