Recently discovered through a freedom of information request to the University Of Michigan the terms Harbaugh's contact have been revealed in their entirety and the contract just gets more unusual the further into it one reads.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - For the first time since the start of the 2016 U.S. presidential election campaign, President Obama hinted that his wife, First Lady Michelle Obama, is running for Vice President. Obama made the revelation during Saturday night's White House Correspondents' Dinner. Looking directly at the stunning First Lady, Obama…

Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time he addresses the perplexing case of 'My Haunted Arse'. Can a person's posterior be haunted and produce supernatural phenomena including apparitions, disembodied voices and strange sounds? The Rev investigates.

Former “Cheers” actress Kirstie Alley was believed to be in hiding somewhere in California Tuesday night after the Islamic State issued a fatwa calling for her to be beheaded as an apostate.

(SatireWorld.com)
The Food and Drug Administration issued a release saying that a new breakfast cereal from England, Dingleberry Nut Crunch, will not be allowed to be imported into or sold in the United States. The cereal, which has become a best seller in the British Isles, has a marketing campaign similar to Wheaties (the cereal box currently features the Man U soccer team). Manufacturers at Dorking Mills intend to appeal the restrictions.

LOS BAÑOS, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - Move over seedless grapes. Make way for boneless bananas! Agricultural scientists at the University of the Philippines at Los Baños (UPLB) have successfully produced an organic prototype of bananas not seen ever before anywhere in the world. They're boneless! The bananas have been marketed on a limited…

The announcement came shortly after yet another crushing defeat for Ted as not only did he lose the Indiana primary but he also had his Pizza Hut loyalty card revoked due to undisclosed reasons.

The White House – (SatireWorld.com)
With 15% of the American people on food stamps and unemployment increasing as thousands of business lay off workers due to healthcare cost fears, President Obama took some time off from golf to pardon a turkey for Thanksgiving.

Cornwall, England – (SatireWorld.com)

Clara Meadmore, who celebrates her 105th birthday Saturday, says she knows the secret to a long life….No sex! The retired secretary, who lives in a nursing home in Cornwall, southwestern Britain, says she is still a virgin and has no regrets about it, according to reports in British newspapers and on SatireWorld.

Havana, Cuba – (SatireWorld.com)
Former President Fidel Castro, who led a rebel army to improbable victory in Cuba, embraced Soviet-style communism, defied the power of 10 U.S. presidents during his half-century rule, and risked world-wide nuclear war has died at age 90.

A man claiming to be Satoshi Nakamoto, the inventor of Bitcoin, has come forward, bringing the number of people coming forward claiming to be Satoshi Nakamoto this week to thirty-two, a record.

(satireworld.com)
Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS

1. Since laughter is the best medicine and helps to strengthen the immune systems, some hyenas live to be over three thousand years old, often scaring the crap out of archaeologist as one runs out of an Egyptian pyramid.

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Either Hollywood actors Kal Penn and Dave Patel are twin brothers separated at birth, or they are one and the same person. The Wall Street Journal's Pulitzer Prize winning film reviewer, Joe Morgenstern recently wrote a piece on the movie 'Lion,' which stars Patel (Slumdog Millionnare),…

Facing unrelenting pressure to release transcripts of speeches she made to Goldman Sachs in 2013 -- for which she was paid $675,000 -- Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton says that she will act when her opponent, Vermont senator Bernie Sanders, does the same.

Raleigh NC – (satireworld.com)
The Department of Justice (DOJ) headed by Attorney General (AG) Loretta Lynch gave North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory a short time to scrap this state’s new “bathroom bill” (gender matches your plumbing). Instead, he’s filing a lawsuit against the federal government. Then President Obama weighed in with his non-binding, federal funding, blackmail “Bathroom Decree” to all the nations public schools!

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - President-elect Donald Trump's phone conversations with world leaders have created jitters among members of the diplomatic community. Trump's unorthodox and naive calls with, for instance, the leaders of Pakistan and Kazakhstan may have put the United States' official position on and relationships with the two countries at…

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - It was a secret, quickly-arranged meeting, captured only through the lens of an iPhone.  Philippine presumptive President-elect Rodrigo Duterte came face to face with presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump.  It happened in an undisclosed penthouse office in New York City. Duterte, described by Western media…

Facing a life sentence for his crimes, Father Christmas might just have emptied his sack for the very last time.

June 11, 2270 - One day after telepathically blasting President ZX7 on Twitter for implementing new antimatter fusion subsidies that will cost his state thousands of coal mining jobs, Kentucky Senator Faggypants Murphy backed up his thoughts with words criticizing the Commander and Chief.

Scientists have discovered traces of human DNA in the auditorium where Donald Trump held a boisterous and offensive rally earlier today.