WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania declared the only way to stop male Caucasians from using their guns and dangerous right-wing ideology in acts of domestic terrorism was to put women back in the kitchen. Santorum pledged to stop right-wing terrorism, and urged American women to help him by quickly finding a husband, having more kids, and getting reacquainted with working in their home, especially kitchen.

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) - It was the most embarrassing and awkward moment ever on international live television when Miss Universe host Steve Harvey ('Family Feud') announced the wrong winner, apologizing for misreading the names of the first runner-up and the Miss Universe winner in tonight's pageant in Las Vegas. Harvey announced Miss…

Camp David, MD
President Obama was accidentally wounded Sunday by a dropped shotgun during the annual President’s Cup skeet shooting tournament held by the Marine detachment guarding Camp David. The President was quickly flown to Walter Reed hospital where he was attended to by surgeon B.E. Morse who said “the President should recover in no time.”

On what was crowned as the highest opening weekend in film history, Star Wars fans around the globe flocked to the theatres to see their favorite characters in action on the big screen. But one fan in Lexington, Kentucky wasn't so lucky.

A growing number of Louisiana parents are threatening to take their children out of public schools that teach the use of Arabic numerals, which they say is state-sponsored promotion of Islam.

Jerry Springer has been announced to be the new chairman of the Republican National Committee.

Regulars complain that they don’t eat at McDonald’s for their health The biggest fast food restaurant in the business announced last month that they were introducing an alternative...>

Andy Murray will receive a personality courtesy of the BBC next year for services to Tennis, with the process of him gradually becoming a 3 dimensional human being shown in a series of documentaries presented by Billy or Melvyn Bragg. Both twins are ‘huge’ tennis fans. One said: ‘Andy is a tennis playing robot at the moment, and an imperfect one at that...

Over the years I have been hard on all forms of fundamentalism, regardless of the particular brand. So, Mr. McDooris, I see your “the Qur’an was revealed to Muhammad” myth and raise you a “burning Bush” one (which, incidentally, should have happened due to his war crimes). Whereas I expect more from our own, you expect less and…

Egypt's entire Mickey Mouse Club has been imprisoned while it's Christmas special was being aired, according to people close to the prison keys.

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) - It was a heart-breaking moment for millions of Filipinos who were rooting for Miss Philippines, Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach, to be crowned this year's Miss Universe.  When the final moment came, Miss U.S.A was named 2nd runner-up, Miss Philippines as 1st runner-up, and Miss Colombia as the new Miss Universe…

PENSACOLA, FLORIDA (The Nil Admirari) - Today, avid Fox News viewer and Glenn Beck listener Nora Jolly declared she was outraged no one was stopping her from saying "Merry Christmas." Jolly - a casual church-goer who prefers to converse with God directly - told TNA she actively attempted to start multiple fights with unfortunate cashiers and other consumers at well-known department stores near her home, and no one told her she could not use the Christmas pleasantry.

Islamisbad, Pakistan -(satireworld.com)

In order to shore up faltering ratings and falling revenues, cable news channel MSNBC has decided to offer prime-time reality shows with a foreign flare. Reality TV’s latest offering is sure to raise eyebrows and a few Muslim tempers as season one of The Real Housewives of Islamabad makes its way to the small screen.

“Ge, ge, ge, I’m gonna git’ those Duke Boys!”                                               —Roscoe P. Coltrane  

Her usual full-on X-rated programme will instead be confined to late-night schedules.

Shocking results of a genealogical investigation into Donald Trump's ancestry has linked the GOP presidential candidate to one of the Founding Fathers of the United States.

MANCHESTER, New Hampshire (The Adobo Chronicles) - Hillary Clinton's performance at tonight's Democratic presidential debate in New Hamphire may have convinced Democratic voters that she would be the best party nominee for president of the United States, but her closing statement may have won for her the  votesd to win in the general election. Clinton ended…

New York, NY-(satireworld.com)

Forty years old. Can you believe it ? It seems like only yesterday, she was crawling around the White House Oval Office on her hands and knees, putting everything in her mouth. They grow up so fast, don’t they?

Americans have become used to tirades coming from Donald Trump.  Some that make sense and some not so much.  His latest diatribe came Friday afternoon at the Trump Tower lobby in New York City.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump confirmed reports he had been sexting with Russian President Vladimir Putin for over six months. Governor of Ohio John Kasich - a rival Republican presidential candidate, who refuses to make public the "very troubling" sexts - discovered the long-term sexting relationship between Trump and Putin after becoming convinced he should investigate the relationship between the two after days of them being very complimentary of each other in the media.