Here's all you have to do: go to your doctor right after you sell your house and tell him, “I want The Khloe Kardashian, please!” Your life, body, nose, eye, lip, face, and butt will never be the same.

Increasingly frustrated with congress' inaction on his initiatives, President Trump ordered the National Guard to begin work on an eight-story cheeseburger.

A handy guide.

United we (space) stand. (return) Divided (return) wefall.

Men and women around the world are discovering their bodies are different…in the strangest of places. Billions of men are reporting one form of genitalia and billions of women are reporting something quite the opposite – and these two (what seem to be) puzzle pieces are leaving everyone puzzled.

DAVAO CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Davao Bureau) - Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte on Sunday confirmed rumors that he had passed away. ”It’s true,” Duterte said, “but I rose again after three days.” To prove he is back alive, Duterte’s companion, Honylet Avanceña posted a live video of the couple reading last Sunday’s edition of the…

Explaining the need for the new NSIA via telephone to Fox News' Shepard Smith, the President made derogatory reference to the existing intelligence agencies, calling the NSA the 'National Stupid Agency' and the CIA 'dumb'.

SAN FRANSISCO–Avid marathoner Brendon Pfeffer, originally from a small town outside of Toronto, has just admitted to us that he knows he doesn’t have to pay someone money to run.

House of Commons in chaos as Corbyn's 'Zombie Government' comment results in opposition MP firing shotgun at government benches, shouting 'shoot 'em in the head!' Rival parliamentary factions 'tool up' as Brexit debate turns violent!

Desperate Theresa May claims Brexit deal rejected by Parliament actually drawn up by ghost of Margaret Thatcher. Prime Minister allegedly possessed by spirit of predecessor determined to pursue her Euroceptic agenda from beyond the grave. Cynical attempt to avert blame for humiliating defeat or inspired attempt to rally right-wing support for deal by accediting it to conservative icon?

Public amazement as Home Secretary takes tough line on immigration by personally attacking rubber dinghy and hurling illegal occupants back into sea. New policy initiative or cynical political posturing as Sajid Javid positions himself as Tory tough guy in race to succeed Theresa May?

We look back at the year past - or would if we could remember any of it. From phantom drones to Brexit turmoil, 2018 is vaguely recalled, but any predictions for 2019 are roundly rejected.

An independent political group, Millennials in Politics (MIP), has initiated a petition to put the acronym SMH (shaking my head) on the 2020 presidential ballot.

Giuliani, who has lately been busy trying to reconcile the complex and sometimes contradictory threads of the president's various scandals, was in the midst of arguing that remarks he made previously denying that there had been any collusion between Russia and the Trump presidential campaign didn't mean that nobody on the campaign ever colluded with the Russians when the blood first became visible.

FORT WORTH–An area residence is under investigation tonight after a vigilant neighbor, Sarah Noying, called in to report “dangerous levels of masculine behavior” happening right over their shared fence.

Senator Bernie Sanders and former Mayor of New York, Michael Bloomberg, better known as hecklers Waldorf and Statler on The Muppets, have officially announced their decision to join the 2020 presidential race.

In hopes of forging a compromise, the White House is removing 2,500 catapults from its border security request which were meant to defend the wall between Mexico in the event of a siege.

A dog belonging to political consultant Roger Stone was arrested outside his Ft. Lauderdale home brandishing a 9mm handgun in front of a crowd of children. It's arraignment is scheduled for Tuesday.

Rep. Dean Koonce (R, IN) is drawing fire from both sides of the aisle after delivering a racially pejorative speech in black face on the floor of the House of Representatives this afternoon.

Satirical papers across the country are announcing that President Trump will no longer be considered a target of ridicule and general lampooning because, according to them, “it’s getting old”.