The U.S. Government made the following announcements today that are in preparation of New Year’s Eve 2016. All the preparations, listed below, have roots in traditional superstitions.

Ottawa—Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudaeu announced today as many as 40% of the recently relocated Syrian refugees have already frozen to death. The challenge of transitioning individuals from a desert region to the great white north has proven too great for many. The Prime Minister was saddened, yet confused by the news: “We gave every one…

'I am disappointed to face charges related to an alleged incident in 2004. I deny all accusations that I put my boopachop in my accuser’s simbydoop after I had put some sleepy-deeps in her slurpydrunkjuice,' he said.

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.

Lanham, Maryland – (satireworld.com)

Most Americans probably don’t realize that Turkey’s Islamist government is building a colossal mosque in the United States with the input of several branches of a group known as the parent organization of Hamas and al Qaeda.

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) - When it comes to business and time management, billionaire Donald Trump speaks with great authority, that's why he is where he is now. In a new major campaign policy proposal, the Republican presidential candidate believes that there should only be one time zone across the world, and he…

Awards:
Society Of Anti Horoscopes League Of Cruelty 2014 'Horoscope Of The Year'
Sagittarius Deal Or No Deal Sponsored Horoscope 2013
Sugar Free Mystical Horoscope Of The Year 2014

Anywhere, USA
For years now we have lived through the terrible tragedy of random shootings and mass murders at the hands of gunmen. Each and every-time the media covers the story for days on end and usually heaps blame via pundits or reporters on the NRA, gun rights supporters, gun owners and even retailers who sell guns.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the conservative think tank Work Harder, America (WHA) released the results of a study on tax cuts for the wealthy, and government services cuts for the vast majority of Americans. The study clearly showed the wealthy paying less in taxes had nothing to do with tax revenue shortfalls that gave conservatives a pretext to assert government budgets must be balanced by austerity measures targeting critical services like education, food assistance, healthcare, and infrastructure.

Washington DC – (satireworld.com)
Ed Klein’s newly released book ‘Blood Feud’ revealed that ex- Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has a heart ailment that she has kept secret hoping to avoid controversy that would hinder her chances to become president in 2016. Clinton addressed her physical ailments before a questioning press corp today in lieu of reports that she recently visited a gynecologist and heart specialist in New York City. Rumors are now swirling that Hillary might drop out of the race and not seek the 2016 Presidential nomination from her party.

   

The Environment Agency has responded to the floods in the north of England by raising its threat indicator from the baseline 'Tickety-boo' straight to 'Something really should be done', by-passing the interim stages of 'A bit of a rum do', 'Just not cricket' and 'Simply not on, old boy'.

by Roger Freed.With apologies to Edgar Allen Poe for this blatant ripoff of his famous poem, ‘The Raven.’   Once upon a day bright and cheery, while I hiked a trail loved [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

The White House (satireworld.com)

President Bill Clinton served in office from 1992 through 2000. During that time Oval Office Sex was a prime concern of the American people as rumors swirled and innuendo became dreaded reality…The President of the United States was indeed having sex in the Oval Office with an employed intern half his age! The resulting scandal was referred to as ‘Zippergate.’
Now we present.......Bill Clinton….The Lewinski Cronicles 1997 Part III

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) - As if the former Bruce Jenner hadn't already shocked the world by announcing that he was transitioning to a woman, a second announcement by the now Caitlyn is sending chills and squeals across the globe. Americans woke up this morning in disbelief at the announcement that the 66-year-old…

The Hamptons, NY – (satireworld.com)

Yes, you heard it here first!

For years, Kim Kardashian, and her equally untalented family, have dominated magazine covers, TV celebrity news shows, and reality TV with pointless blathering, boring lifestyles, and hyped family situations that only truly brain dead fans could call reality and fact. Now, in the public interest satireworld.com will take a first step down the Celebrity Truth Highway and finally proclaim to the masses that have turned a blind eye, that…Kim Kardashian has a really fat ass!

NEW YORK (The Barbed Wire) - The Republican presidential field is scrambling this week to find a way forward after the shocking, recent departures of John McCain's BFF, Lindsey Graham, and former New York governor George Pataki. The announcements also crushed the dreams of millions who were hoping to see the first male president named Lindsey.

A cell phone video of a fatal shooting in which a veteran San Diego police officer shot and killed an unarmed man confirms the officer's earlier claims that the victim was calling him names.

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the struggling Republican presidential campaign of neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson announced the candidate would not be available to the press for the entire day. The press was waiting for planned remarks from Dr. Carson when reporters were told he had lost his pants while hunting a unicorn in his kitchen.

Philadelphia, PA – (satireworld.com)
Monica Lewinsky spoke at Forbes’ 30 Under 30 summit on Monday, opening up about her experience with cyber-bullying, her past relationship with President Bill Clinton, and how she’s more aligned with the Libertarian Party now since leaving the Democratic Party in 1999.