NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) - In a whirlwind of television appearances on national networks yesterday, Miss Universe Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach was asked  repeatedly if she was willing to share her crown with Miss Colombia. In the days following the Miss Universe pageant, there have been calls for Wurtzbach to share the title with…

Vienna Austria – (satireworld.com)

Dr. Sigmund Freud III spoke before the Austrian Psychology Association (APA) on the 135th anniversary of the founding of Psychological Research. The meeting was held at the Kursalon Vienna Concert Hall. The attendees were the notables of the psychology world and all 1744 seats of the main hall were filled, plus 300 standees. Several hundred others heard only the audio seated in various rehearsal halls.

Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders promised to deal with the oversized influence of the finance sector by breaking the nation’s 10 largest banks into “a million little ones.”

Rutland, VT – Jenna Barstow joined the firm as a Marketing Manager in April.  It’s annual review time, so she’s thinking about how she is going to rate and speak about all of the employees on her team.  She’s got a good handle on most of the team except for one employee everyone calls ‘Corndog.’

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton criticized rival U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont for "picking on" her bankster friends who run the financial institutions responsible for the 2008 economic crisis. Clinton took serious issue with Sanders' plan to break up commercial and investment banks, because that would prevent her bankster pals from using the bank deposits of regular Americans to make extremely risky investments and stick American taxpayers with the bill when they lose big.

This is how NRA reacted to President Obama's speech today on gun violence.

In the midst of a rally supporting two ranchers convicted of arson for burning 130 acres of federal land, a group of armed, anti-government protesters initiated the occupation of a federal building at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in the remote high desert of eastern Oregon. The building was taken over by approximately 150 militia members whom many Americans have defended, calling the gunmen “patriots” with a just cause in wanting federal lands turned over to local authorities.

Kidding….they’re just heading to Colorado on a road trip.

The BBC has announced it is axing its critically-acclaimed adaptation of Tolstoy's literary classic War and Peace after just one episode, replacing it with a tense political drama based on Jeremy Corbyn's shadow cabinet reshuffle.

WASHINGTON — Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced her 2016 plans...

Washington DC: (satireworld.com)

The North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) had just finished tracking Santa Clause when a large object was spotted heading towards planet Earth. As the object grew larger, natural bodies such as asteroids and meteors were ruled out by observers. When signals were received indicating “no hostile intent” and that a landing was to be made in the Nation’s Capital, there was no doubt intelligent life was aboard. The White House was duly notified.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the U.S. Department of Reality released a report that concluded seizing a federal building and daring federal agents to attack you in order to incite a deadly confrontation were almost certainly acts of terrorism and treason. This conclusion was inevitable, regardless of why the federal building was seized.

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) -  The Philippines will see the launching of its first-ever satellite in April this year, Department of Science and Technology (DOST) Secretary Mario Montejo said yesterday. The schedule was set after the DOST firmed up the arrangements with an American provider of space shuttle services on which the “micro satellite” would be…

On a more positive note: Helmand is kind of a shit hole anyway. * The above image may not actually be the Afghani town of Helmand.

Prime Minister David Cameron explained the reasons behind the move: "We want to be seen as the party of future growth and fertility. Not just fertility in terms of procreation, obviously, but also fertility of ideas and the fulfillment of aspirations.

‘Facial hair is the work of Allah himself,’ proclaims new ‘Jesus Shaves!’ Republican movement, who criticize Paul Ryan.

Democratic Party spies have been infiltrating Republican closed-door donor events and secret strategy meetings.

Mecca, Saudi Arabia – (satireworld.com)
Karmic jitters surround Mecca’s Royal Clock Tower Hotel – the Abraj Al-Bait Towers – this weekend after Iran’s official witchfinder-general unleashed a torrent of hexoplasm against crazy Wahabbists who executed ‘moderate’ Shia cleric Shaikh Nimr al-Nimr.

LAS VEGAS (The Barbed Wire) - Last week, a person placed slices of bacon on the door handles of the front and back doors to a mosque in Sin City. Bacon and pork products are considered unclean in Islamic tradition, and Muslims are forbidden from eating or touching it.

New York – MouthFrog photographer and contributor, Joshua ‘I’ll write when I fucking feel like it’ Seater, was able to capture this alarming picture in Times Square of Gold’s Gym members waiting in a chaotic line to buy newly discounted treadmills.