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BATON ROUGE, Louisiana (The Adobo Chronicles®) - What if they held a beauty pageant and nobody watched it? Well, that's exactly what was going to happen to the Miss U.S.A. and Miss Universe pageants after NBC Universal and Univision both severed their relationship with pageant owner Donald Trump. The two networks fired Trump after his…
Intelligence officials have closed down sections of the UK’s capital, in order to stage a simulation of the terror conditions that will occur in the wake of the Wimbledon Champion ‘choking in the quarter finals’.

The exercise involves 1,000 police officers, all of whom have been instructed to ‘taser on sight’ anyone seen weeping into a punnet of strawberries.
An exclusive pre-publication look at ‘Insincerely Yours’ by Brian Williams. People, are you ready for a treat? Here’s a first look at Brian Williams’ new book Insincerely Yours, for readers ages 10-14, on sale Dec. 6th. You can read an exclusive excerpt below, available nowhere else!
In an effort to avoid a complete financial meltdown, Greece announced today that it is leaving the Euro and converting to the Gyro. With an economy that's just a tad bit larger than that of Oregon's, the Greek government decided that it's just too small to handle the Euro
Aries: The moon is set to eclipse Pluto this month but you won't notice this because Pluto is not visible in the sky even if you squint. Even so, this will play havoc on any of your transport plans and indicates considerable difficulty driving, flying and walking. Take extra precautions when walking around corners on the 6th.
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari): Louisiana Governor Piyush "Bobby" Jindal announced today he intended to perform an exorcism on the hair of fellow Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. The exorcism on the demon-possessed locks was requested by Trump, who heard Jindal had performed an exorcism on a friend while he attended Brown University.
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles®) - Police officers, for the most part, are rewarded or promoted for going beyond the "call of duty." But not this officer with the New York Police Department (NYPD).  He got fired. The still unnamed officer went beyond  his call of duty on Sunday by dancing with a gay man…
by Will Durst.The Confederate rebel flag has been the source of controversy with a regularity approaching that of a Madonna comeback album. Since its reintroduction on the grounds of the South Carolina Capitol in 1961 to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the start of the Civil War, the Confederate rebel flag has been the source of controversy [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
A survey of UK incomes has confirmed that people with real jobs - defined by the government as ones they can explain to their parents - are destined to scrape along just above poverty levels until death, while total arseholes doing socially useless things that mean nothing to nobody have to compensate for their unpopularity with industrial quantities of loot.
WASHINGTON D.C. (The Barbed Wire) - In a ruling lost in the more newsworthy and controversial decisions handed down by the US Supreme Court last week, was another major victory for the homosexual community. In a 5-4 decision, the Court ruled that gays do have the right to write and publish satire.
Little Rock, AR – Just when you thought you had all of the simple stuff figured out, some brainy white-haired guy from a local Community College tells you that you’re wrong.  Such is the case with Dr. Brian Sloss, who teaches a variety of different classes at ‘Little Rock – Big University.’  
Every year, ESPN The Magazine pays tribute to the sculpted bodies of the athletic world in their "The Body Issue." And this year, they're adding one more special edition issue to the mix with their "Offensive Linemen Edition," due out in September.
A group of LSU students is calling for the eradication of Trachelospermum jasminoides, a flowering plant commonly known as Confederate jasmine.
SILICON VALLEY, California (The Adobo Chronicles®) - From the Atlantic to the Pacific, from sea to shining sea, rainbow-colored filters are showing up on Facbook pages -- all in the name of marriage equality. Facebook profile photos are now sporting the colors of the gay flag. It all started soon after the U.S. Supreme Court issued…
The BBC has named Chris Evans as the new co-host of Top Gear when it returns with new host Chris Evans. The announcement was made on the BBC Radio 2 Chris Evans Breakfast Show this morning.
Greece needs more Euros.

The banks have eaten all the Euros.

With no new Euros to eat the banks will die.

The Euro will probably continue.
BILLUND, DENMARK (The Nil Admirari): LEGO Group announced today it will be transitioning from plastic building pieces to more sustainable broken glass building pieces. The company has relied on plastic since the late 1950s, but stated it will fully transition to broken glass building pieces in time for Christmas shopping this year.
WASHINGTON D.C. (The Barbed Wire) - In an emergency session, and while they're hot in their pursuit of rewriting what is right and wrong in our society, the Supreme Court ruled in a 5-4 decision that people of one race can change races on a whim. The case was brought about from the Rachel Dolezal case.
DALLAS, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles®) - The Lone Star State is suing the U.S. Supreme Court over Friday's ruling which legalized same-sex marriage in all 50 states. Governor Greg Abbott announced today that Texas will file a class-action law suit on Monday asking the Supreme Court to void the ruling of the Supreme Court. “The Supreme…

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