SIRI has become an important part of The Daily Discord and Team Search Truth Quest. She even helped lead an EVP session during a cemetery ghost investigation, here. The stats are in and we have the Top 10 questions asked by Discord contributors in 2015. SIRI does have an active restraining order against Discord member, Tony Ballz, so…

A 34 Year old man from Newcastle Upon Tyne has come out as being Translemon. Mr David O’Connor , a computer programmer, who is married with three children made the shock announcement to his friends and family last week. ‘It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done’ said Mr O’Connor. ‘All my life I’ve felt like a lemon trapped in a man’s body with a craving to be squeezed – tightly, very tightly, as tightly as possible.’

Brighton, MA – (satireworld.com)

Brighton’s famous ‘Happy’ Ed Gleeson is now happier than ever for not only winning the state’s massive $181 million dollar lottery, but for getting himself divorced from a cheating wife, and then by the purest stroke of luck, winning the hand of a beautiful new fiancee…All in one week!

LOS ANGELES, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Move over Justin Bieber. Glad you enjoyed your temporary number one spot on the Billboard chart.  Adele's 'Hello' is back on top. And it's not even Adele singing.

Brighton, MA-(satireworld.com)

'Happy’ Ed Gleeson is without a doubt the ‘Happiest Man in the World!’ He’s earned this distinctive title by never frowning, never being angry, and always having an upbeat and positive attitude.

SEEKONK, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, a Massachusetts man declared he was from the half of the working class that would kill the other half of the working class for a reasonable price. Thomas Basil, a Republican construction worker and married father of two, told TNA he "would be happy to take out" the other half of the working class that complained about wages, working conditions, and other labor-related matters rather than work with them to improve those conditions for everyone.

Poland-(satireworld.com)

Former Ukrainian concentration camp guard John Demjanjuk’s trial began today for murders committed while he served as a Waffen SS Nazi death camp guard in German occupied Russia. He was finally arrested for lying on a citizenship application and entering the US illegally immediately after the end of WWII. In early 2001 he was deported back to Europe to stand trial for war crimes after a lengthy immigration battle against sending him back to Germany.

Tehran—Secretary of State John Kerry suggested a team building activity designed to either build ties between Iranian and U.S. Diplomats or atomize them. The two teams split into mixed groups tasked with disarming a live nuclear warhead within the allotted time frame. Secretary Kerry told The Discord, “Most such meetings require an ice breaking exercise, but this situation…

Pope Francis is to stand down after the Vatican released figures which revealed a poorer than expected performance over the Christmas and New Year period. In a statement the Vatican thanked the Pope for his efforts since taking over as Pontiff in 2013 but said that the time had come to explore other options for the future of the church.

The move comes after the Vatican announced that like-for-like attendance at Mass and confession over the festive season fell by 7% while collection-plate income was down by 5% compared to the same period last year. 'The Catholic Church is operating in a very

The interview was surprising to many policy analysts, who generally consider current events to be dominated by trends favorable to the traditional strengths of the Horsemen.

SEATTLE, Washington (The Adobo Chronicles) - There is a missing beauty crown and a sash, and television host Steve Harvey is being questioned by authorities for it. It has nothing to do with Miss Universe. Rather, it is about Miss Washington USA. Stormy Keffeler who had earlier won the crown resigned after a previous DUI arrest…

Chicago, IL - (satireworld.com)
They said it couldn’t be done, but two local girls did it! Now, there’s a new national champion on the hamburger eating circuit. Ellen Loiuse Barksdale and Mary Lou Helmutt were crowned the Hamburger Eating Champions at a recent franchise convention sponsored by parent company McDonalds.

MANCHESTER, NH (The Barbed Wire) - Saying she has many dear friends in "The Granite State," Hillary Clinton told supporters at a rally here that if they did not deliver the state to her in next month's primary, and she went on to get elected president, she would wipe the state off the face of the map.

Chappaqua NY – (satireworld.com)

Prospective Democratic Candidate former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton called a press conference in her suburban home’s flower garden to announce she was dropping out of the 2016 presidential race. Hillary made the pronouncement wearing her traditional pudgy white pants suit and sun glasses to hide the “tell,” indicative of when she is lying.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, dozens of senior staffers working for Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush announced the former Governor of Florida was ignoring their hints it was well past time to suspend his lackluster presidential campaign. Bush's campaign staff explained they continued to make "mistakes" like including Jeb Bush on e-mails containing their resumes for the review of other Republican presidential contenders, but had failed to reach the governor with their passive-aggressive behavior.

Television personality Mario Lopez's recent meeting with Dick Cheney may have led authorities to him.

I’m furious with the mainstream media, but probably not for the same reasons you are. How dare they let republicans rewrite history? How do you let these blatant falsehoods go unchallenged on your “news” shows? Even our debate moderators seem asleep at the switch. During the last undercard round, Carly Fiorina implied Obama “fired all the…

British astronaut Tim Peake has submitted an invoice to the International Space Station's finance office to cover travel and time spent on-site, to the tune of several million pounds.

by Humor Times.‘Yes Men’ hoax highlights failures of military approaches to terrorism Today in the European Parliament in Brussels, a “defense and security consultant” (actually Andy Bichlbaum of the Yes Men, working [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

Saudi Arabia – (satireworld.com)

A Saudi cleric has called for all female babies to be fully covered by wearing the face veil, commonly known as the burka, citing reports of little girls being sexually molested by sex-starved Saudi men.