PORTLAND, OR — A year after tumultuous protests ripped through the United States over an epidemic of lethal police brutality, the left is now championing a bill to protect the names of officers who use lethal force from being reported in the media for as long as 90 days.

BROCKTON, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Today, a Massachusetts man with a record of following right-wing media observed it was cold outside, and shared his observation on social media to embarrass the world's scientists. Thomas Basil, a construction worker and married father of two, used his superior deductive reasoning skills to shame science and destroy the scientific theory of global climate change with his rival scientific thesis that climate change was bullshit.

‘We have a dedicated team of trained health professionals looking after Daniel round the clock,’ said chairman Tom Werner. ‘He played in the cup match the other night and we told him to keep his fingers crossed that he would avoid an injury, unfortunately he has developed some sort of arthritic condition in his fingers as a result’.

Today, the results of a study by the news team at The Nil Admirari showed a sizable minority of American voters were disturbed by the honesty and consistent record of Democratic presidential candidate U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont.

Coast of Paraguay – (satireworld.com)

Fernando Monte Verde retired a number of years ago from a successful business career and at that time would have never believed he would one day be the envy of every male on the planet! But today Fernando certainly is that man.

HOUSTON —Rockets big man Dwight Howard is on the market and Houston general manager Daryl Morey says he has already rece…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she was genuinely surprised so many Americans still recalled her close friend and foreign policy counselor Henry Kissinger was a war criminal guilty of genocide. Clinton also confessed she was not surprised U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont - her chief rival - remembered former Secretary of State Kissinger was a horrible person directly responsible for the deaths of millions of innocent people due to Sanders being "very, very old."

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

The fallout from the recent and ongoing Veterans Administration scandal has surfaced at the White House, after White House chief of staff says President Barack Obama is “madder than hell” about reports of treatment delays at veterans’ hospitals across the country.

ATLANTA, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles) - If the world's a stage, then the spotlight shouldn't all be focused on America.  Media giant CNN and Baseball's World Series are both relocating their headquarters abroad. In a stunning announcement today, CNN says it is laying off all of its personnel in the International Desk based in Atlanta, all…

“Though he’s only been on the scene a short time, he’s made inroads,” said political analyst Donna Brazile.

Conservative MPs say they are prepared to take industrial action if junior doctors do not accept the new pay and conditions contract currently on offer. It is not clear what significance the loss of 330 Conservative MPs would have on the running of the country but some experts warn that the impact might be felt as far away as Parliament Square

The Peery Hotel is a groovy old western hotel located near the heart of downtown Salt Lake City. What’s even better is how it’s a stone’s throw away from Squatters and Red Rock Brewery. I know, because after they threw me out I think I was able to hit both of them from my hotel window. This is my second trip…

The TPP is written specifically to sanction and increase the robbery of the many by the world’s moneyed few. The basic problem facing the corporate and political powers that want you and me to swallow their Trans-Pacific Partnership deal is that they can’t make chicken salad out of chicken manure.

45 year-old truck driver and avowed white supremacist Luke Chandler of Alabaster, Alabama finished his appearance on Jeopardy this Thursday with a score of –22,600, a new record low for any contestant on the game show since its inception in 1964.

ARTISANAL PRESS — Research recently published in a peer-reviewed journal suggests that the latest generation of political radicals in the United States is, itself, undergoing a radical change. Dr. Mike Godwin, behavioral & political scientist at Reed University, claims that a large number of twentysomething radical leftists — many voting for the first or second time in their lives — are getting fat, and changing their voter registration to Democrat.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, President Barack Obama announced he was very concerned Democratic presidential hopeful U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont would actually give all American citizens healthcare as a human right. Obama explained former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was his Democratic presidential contender of choice, because he wanted a successor who would not make him look bad.

Saying that she’s “first a woman, second a mother, third a daughter, and last an experienced former senator and secretary of state,” Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is urging voters to head to New York City to take a tour of her virtual vagina.

Harlem, NYC – (satireworld.com)
Taking advantage of Black History Month, socialist Bernie Saunders met with Al Sharpton in a carefully orchestrated show of black support after winning the Democratic primary election in New Hampshire.

Secrets of the Celebrity Sex Addiction Clinic Uncovered! Top Sex Therapist Reveals How Top Celebrity Sex Addicts Cured by Suppressing Their Orgasms!

Is Tory Government Siphoning Off Public Funds in Guise of Spending Cuts to Build Space Station Haven? 'Blue Heaven' Project to Provide Top Tories with Luxury Refuge After Trashing UK.