After spending weeks in damage control against allegations that their candidate is a child molester, Roy Moore's campaign is now looking to mobilize Alabama's sizable pedophile population to put him over the top in his Senatorial race against Doug Jones.

Richard B. Spencer, who has been called the Golden Boy of the Alt-Right, will adorn the cover of GQ’s February 2017 (Valentine Day) issue. The handsome, natty, and oh-so-controversial Mr. Spencer, who seeks to spread the gospel of white nationalism, is already spreading the gospel that “Neo-Nazis” are a far cry sartorially from their goose-stepping, jack-booted, Sieg-Heil-saluting forebears.

When you care enough to send the very best to those you unmercifully rub out… Courtesy of the Clinton Machine

Gemstones, colors, fish entrails, and power phrases are not the only astrological influences guiding our destinies. In fact, the vehicles we drive are the engines that really drive our happiness.

HIROSHIMA (The Barbed Wire) - Later this month, President Obama will make a trip to the site of the world's most famous bomb blast, to make an apology for former President Roosevelt dropping a more powerful bomb. The F-bomb. Many Americans believe Obama has no place apologizing for Roosevelt's F-bomb because it was perfectly understandable at the time.

Trying to allay fears about the Zika virus, open sewage, deadly infrastructure failures, and political upheaval in Brazil, organizers of the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro have promised they will do everything possible to minimize the number of people who die during the games.

According to every major poll in galaxies near and far, far away, the one thing fans were hoping would finally be added to the Star Wars universe: a purple-haired Laura Dern.

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com)

Satire World reports that a personal item of a well known Sports Illustrated model has found its way on the popular auction site eBay and in past days all bidding has gone thru the roof.

Palmetto State Armory, a popular gun retailer, has come under fire this holiday season for its attempts at creative advertising. Marketing executives believed that billboards such as ‘Jingle Bells, Shotgun Shells,’ and displaying ‘Silent Night’ with a pistol and a silencer would be a good idea.  

Amos,MO – (SatireWorld.com)

Reginald Toaster, the famous 500 pound baby (now aged 17) allegedly fathered by Bigfoot, reported to the Ft. Smith, Arkansas Police Department that he had seen the late Elvis Presley. “The King was dressed in his famous white jumpsuit. I done seen him leave the Daylight Donuts and fly away in a UFO. It was the fat Elvis, it weren’t the skinny one. He still had them long, bushy sideburns and was wearing sunglasses. Before anybody accuses me of it, I didn’t have any fur in my eyes and I ain’t been drinkin’ any moonshine.”

After years of icy diplomatic ties between the United States and Russia, President-elect Donald Trump has expressed a strong desire to establish a much warmer relationship with Russian President Vladimir Putin and Putin’s scrotum.

Madison Avenue, NYC – (SatireWorld.com)
The success of Wendy’s recent revival of their old “Where’s The Beef?” ad campaign has prompted several other restaurant chains and other business to revive old advertising campaigns and marketing plans. People watching network television over the next few months might believe that they are actually watching a retrospective of old television commercials.

When John F. Kennedy called upon America to put a man on the moon, It made sense to assume Mars would be next. Some had a problem with that ...

After years of nipping people in the nose in songs including The Christmas Song, Jack Frost finally got what was coming to him in the latest Christmas episode of TOWIE, according to a person on Twitter who watches the show.

SACRAMENTO, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - Realizing that their continued rivalry and rhetoric will only increase Donald Trump's chances of being elected next president of the United States, the Democratic presidential candidates have finally agreed to settle their differences. While agreeing to fight it out till the end, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders…

BETHESDA, Maryland (The Adobo Chronicles) - In his first major health warning since assuming the post of U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek H. Murthy has confirmed that texting is detrimental to the health of Americans. "The repetitive movement of the thumbs while texting causes nerve damage similar to that of carpal tunnel," Murthy said. "It is…

Jerico, Israel – (SatireWorld.com)
Historians, scientists, and archaeologists attempting to authenticate the recently discovered “Journal of Jesus” may be a fake. The journal, supposedly discovered in a cave in Jordan, has been the matter of much speculation, worship, and controversy since it was revealed to the public two years ago.

Washington, DC (SatireWorld.com)
In a shocking turn-around for American taxpayers seeking national debt relief, Treasury officials announced a sweeping step by step plan to eliminate the nation’s debt held by foreign governments, namely China.

‘I beat him so bad that I thought he was going to cry,’ said Dave. ‘Piece by piece he went down and all he took from me is a couple of lousy sacrificial pawns. He’s got a long road ahead of him if he ever wants to beat me. God, I feel so alive!’

Walter Bucket Presents True Facts

1. West Virginia man who went over Niagara Falls in a wheelbarrow, December 25th, 2014, never resurfaced.