Gore remained in awe of Scalia's "strict constructionism."

Albany, NY – (satireworld.com)
It was supposed to be a day of excitement, but quickly turned into a day of some very tense moments as skydiving novice Edna Bellfore made her first nude parachute jump. Her attempt was an effort to break a long-standing world record of skydiving while nude.

Tim Cook, the leader of Apple, has said he is happy to be water boarded if it comes to it after his company refused to help the FBI in what many are saying is a marketing stunt gone too far.

SARANGANI, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - Facing mounting criticism and loss of product endorsement revenue from companies like Nike, Filipino boxing champion today announced that he was suspending his campaign to become senator. Earlier this week, Pacquiao received tremendous flak because of his comments comparing gay men and lesbians to (worse than) animals.  He…

MAPLES GROVE, Iowa--Speaking to a large gathering of chickens in their coop, local farmer Benjamin Fisher promised to finally put an end to the steady stream of foxes that have entered the pen unfettered over the years, if he is able to successfully secure financing to purchase the farm where the chickens reside. "And I'm…

Veteran actor Mark Ruffalo has been cast to play director Spike Lee in "Bowl of Milk," an upcoming movie about the 88th Academy Awards and the controversy sparked by Lee’s public condemnation of the choice of nominees for acting awards.

Prompted by news the Islamic State terror group, also known as ISIS, is facing a cash shortage, Louisiana Treasurer John Kennedy has proposed 400 measures the group could take to balance its budget.

Vegas, NV – (satireworld.com)

Ahead of the Nevada Democratic caucuses, a group of ‘sex workers’ operating under the name Hookers for Hillary is going all in for Hillary Clinton’s campaign…touting her positions on letting her husband screw anything with a pulse and her favoring lesbian issues as contributing factors in giving their 'hole-hearted' support.

Knick and James both saw Deadpool over the weekend along with everyone else. It’s going to be a bit spoilery this week on Dorque.

RENO, NV (The Barbed Wire) - Hillary Clinton visited a top veterinarian in Reno this morning due to her incessant barking and persistent coughing fits. The Democratic front-runner was given a steroid injection, heartworm medicine, and she was due for her distemper booster. Mrs. Clinton barked at the moon during a recent campaign stop.

SOUTH CAROLINA (The Barbed Wire) - This week, CNN is hosting a unique event in the world of politics. Because of the vitriol displayed between the Republican candidates in the last GOP debate, the network is hosting a two-night, steel cage death match to whittle down the current field of six presidential hopefuls.

BROCKTON, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Today, a Massachusetts man with a record of following right-wing media declared he was angry at the United States Postal Service (USPS) for losing money every year by sending him sales flyers without charging the businesses that make them. Thomas Basil - a Republican, construction worker, and married father of two - loudly derided the Post Office for imagined slights against him and his fellow Americans, and completely ignored the actual causes of the organization's financial problems.

ARTISANAL PRESS — "These 'Mens Rea Activists' can shove it up their asses," says Executive Director of ACLU.

New Documentary set to Expose Bizarre World of Islamic Fundamentalist Pornography. Amazing Claims of Burqa clad Nudes and Extremist Sex Comedy Films!

Criticising the Unions for refusing to work under bombardment, Jeremy Hunt has threatened to force contracts upon doctors that will see medical professionals dodging shrapnel 24/7. The Health Secretary said that junior doctors in Syria were simply looking for excuses while looking for their patients beneath several tonnes of rubble.

  A headline over on Drudge yesterday read “Christians Under Siege!” Yes, I took the bait and made the mistake of reading the whole article. The assaults on Christianity are always a variation of the same two: Christians are now forced to watch other people marry the person they love and/or not everyone says “Merry Christmas” as enthusiastically…

by Will Durst.They don’t call New Hampshire the elephant graveyard of presidential aspirations for nothing. Once again New Hampshire has demonstrated it is as different from the rest of the country as the Himalayan Mountains are from Jack in the Box seasoned curly fries. Like green sand and aluminum crockpots. As Dorothy almost said after being whisked [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

Reno, NV – (satireworld.com)

After another gagging event during a $650,000 speaking engagement at a LBGT event Hillary finally coughed up the problem…a giant Hairball some say may be linked to “close personal assistant” Hummer Wiener!

Don’t panic! There are many things you can do to make the day educational, fun, and tolerable. The key is optimism and planning!

LAS VEGAS -- Although sparing readers the graphic details, Piper "Pips" Waspinger leaves no doubt that when the voting booth curtain closes, her genitalia will push Hillary Clinton's button. After reading Waspinger’s recent article, "I Am Voting With My Vagina," I caught up with her in Nevada, site of the next Democratic primary.