HARTFORD CT — As it becomes increasingly possible that racist idiot Donald Trump could actually become the next US president, millions of frightened and apprehensive citizens are hastily preparing to sell up, sell out...

Governor of South Carolina Nikki Haley says she hopes her state will convince Jeb Bush to drop out of the Republican presidential race so the GOP establishment can try to stop Donald Trump from ripping the party apart.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

As part of the GLADD, NAMBLA, and transgender community’s outreach program, the Uncle Herbert School of Childhood Diseases and Molestation has received its first installment of a $2 million dollar grant from the Department of Health and Human Services completing a decades-old search to have the school’s inclusion with-in the federally protected sexual predator community.

Washington DC- (satireworld.com)

It was an extremely hot and humid day in the Capital City, even for July 1, 2016, as the temperature was well over 98 degrees Fahrenheit by 8:00 AM EST. President Barack Obama was awakened by Senior Adviser to the President Valerie Jarrett concerning an emergency National Security Council meeting at the US Department of State. The meeting included Secretary of State (SOS) John Kerry and Department of Defense (DOD) Secretary of Defense Ash Carter.

DALLAS (The Barbed Wire) - After being reported missing over 24 hours by his wife, authorities have begun a nationwide search for talk radio host Glenn Beck's mind. Beck is still around, it's just his mind that is gone.

Americans in Alternate Universe 655LT8525RN support Bernadette Sanders over Hillary Clinton, who is unable to use being a woman as a political weapon there.

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com)

Bernie Sanders(S-D-Vt) now making it possible for unemployed college graduates to kick their parents out of their homes in order to compensate for years of white privilege and oppressing their long suffering kids!

DC has floundered as rival comic company Marvel has soared in recent years. With every record-breaking movie Marvel released, from Iron Man to Guardians of the Galaxy, DC executives tore their hair out and tried to reverse-engineer Marvel’s success.

"She would be the first nominee to be banned from the bench at the time of nomination due to a decades long legal battle. And, she would be one of very few nominees to possess crazy cartoon character eyes.”

CHAPPAQUA, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Just days after Nike severed its relationship with Filipino champion boxer Manny Pacquiao for his disparaging comments comparing gay men and lesbians to (worse than) animals, former President Bill Clinton has distanced himself from the Filipino congressman who is running for a Senate seat. The two are known…

National treasures Ant and Dec are to be given to the EU as part of a deal which will see David Cameron secure key concessions on welfare payments to immigrants. The move comes after Polish delegates stormed out of negotiations after the Prime Minister’s opening offer of the Chuckle Brothers and Bonnie Langford appeared to have backfired.

Washington—Zika, a disease associated with encephalitis and microcephaly, continues to spread across the globe at an alarming rate. Its main mode of transmission remains mosquitoes, sexual intercourse, or sharing needles with sexually active mosquitoes (SAMs). Pope Francis rocked the Christian world today when he announced his support of using contraception, in certain instances, to combat Zika. Unfortunately, he…

by Michael Egan.Via GoogleSeance™, famed psychologist predicts Justice Thomas’s ‘Drunken Uncle Complex’ will pass with Scalia’s demise. HEAVEN’S GATE – Founder of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud said today that the unexpected death of Justice Antonin Scalia could finally liberate his colleague Clarence Thomas enough “to actually speak up, after decades of claustrophobic silence.” Interviewed via GoogleSeance™ satellite from [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

Shocking new details of last year’s controversial nuclear accord between the Obama Administration and Iran have been revealed to the Dandy Goat, fueling outrage over what is widely viewed as a humiliating defeat for the United States.

Secret Terror Trial Reveals British Muslim Youths Radicalised by Mad Mullah's 'Radicalisation Booth'. Unsuspecting Islamic men Lured into Fiendish Device and Transformed into Crazed Jihadis!

Taylor Swift has taken it upon herself to offer Kanye assistance by sending Kanye a package of soon to expire coupons in hopes that it will alleviate some of his financial concerns.

LAS VEGAS — Undefeated and five-division world champion Floyd Mayweather, Jr. responded to Manny Pacquiao’s comments com…

The oddsmakers in Las Vegas are offering all sorts of proposition bets about the presidential race. Here are just a few of those novelty bets, along with the latest odds being offered.

London (UK) – (satireworld.com)

An Islamic cleric residing in London said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”
The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Sawsana news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.

The prime minister has scored a major diplomatic victory after all 112 countries in the Eurovision Song Contest agreed to his proposed swingeing reform of the 40-year-old voting system. After weeks of shuttle diplomacy and charm offensives across the continent, a tired but relieved Mr Cameron announced that a deal had been struck this morning....