Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia returned to the bench today after dying February 13th to rule against Obamacare's mandate that religious-sponsored corporations must allow their employees access to contraception through their health insurance.
SINGAPORE (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - If it were up to a Roman Catholic archbishop, people should go to church instead of attending Madonna's Sunday concert in Singapore. Archbishop William Goh reminded Catholics that it was their "moral obligation not to support those who denigrate and insult religions, including anti-Christian and immoral values promoted by the…
“The library is basically lost,” lamented Marlene French, a passerby who valiantly attempted, but failed, to rescue a calico cat wearing a bandanna from the billowing cloud of gluten as it menacingly disseminated down the street. “The city will have to evacuate downtown. Anything else would be totally irresponsible.”
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she had locked the support of 1 billion superdelegates, and demanded U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont concede. Both Clinton and Sanders remain tied at 51 actual delegates - based on actual voting - less than a week before the Democratic presidential primary election in South Carolina.
While the rest of the UK is forced into deciding which Etonian to be lied to by, residents of Queen Victoria’s ‘favourite place to die’ are somewhat out of-the-loop. Unaware of their EU membership, many islanders were still under the impression that we were fighting Napoleon, seeking reparations from the Romans, and still using Betamax.
Prior to the Iowa Caucuses, Glenn Beck threw his support behind Ted Cruz and he has been campaigning for him ever since. The Beckster is now willing to fast until his choice for the republican nomination wins super Tuesday, which Beck dearly hopes comes with cheesy fries. “I will be ready for cheesy fries by then,”…
by Roger Freed.It all started very normally. It was a usual, quiet evening with the Rock Bottom Remainders setting up their equipment for another gig. OK, actually, the Rock Bottom Remainders are not really so very normal. Their roster is made up of all famous literary and artistic people like Dave Barry the humor writer, Stephen King [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
Ottawa, Canada – (satireworld.com)
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Trump supporters are prompting an exodus among Bernie Saunders’ supporters who fear they’ll soon be required to become responsible citizens once Bernie Saunders is finally given his walking papers after the 2016 election.
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Trump supporters are prompting an exodus among Bernie Saunders’ supporters who fear they’ll soon be required to become responsible citizens once Bernie Saunders is finally given his walking papers after the 2016 election.
Spokane, WA – (satireworld.com)
It started out as a simple picnic in Twin Falls Park when, through mo fault of his own, Anthony ‘Rocco’ Pietro felt different than when he first arrived at the picnic area. That’s what lawyers are saying in a recent lawsuit filed against Krafty Foods where they claim Krafty’s Zesty Italian Salad Dressing made their client into an instant homosexual.
It started out as a simple picnic in Twin Falls Park when, through mo fault of his own, Anthony ‘Rocco’ Pietro felt different than when he first arrived at the picnic area. That’s what lawyers are saying in a recent lawsuit filed against Krafty Foods where they claim Krafty’s Zesty Italian Salad Dressing made their client into an instant homosexual.
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - Throughout his campaign, Donald Trump has flouted official histories and facts, claiming, for example, that thousands of Muslims celebrated in New Jersey on Sept. 11, and that the Department of Labor cooks the unemployment books and that the real jobless rate is 23 percent. On Friday night, Trump…
Perishing pensioners the length and breadth of Britain have been warmed this morning by news that British Gas has seen its profits rise by 31%. One consumer said: ‘I’ve been rubbing my hands together. Partly with glee, and party because I can’t afford to put the fire on and I’d like to get some feeling...
In related news, the promo for Sharknado 3 depicts a shark in space with the caption: “Oh hell NO!”
There’s a lot of confusion surrounding the Supreme Court with the death of Justice Antonin Scalia. Will Durst is here to help. Q. Has the issue of Justice Antonin Scalia’s replacement on the Supreme Court turned a mite political? A. You could say that. You could also say that flight simulation wind-tunnels are tough on comb-overs.
Tuscany, Italy – (satireworld.com)
The Italian government was dumbfounded after hearing reports that the famous Tower of Pisa fell. Long touted as an impossible building that had an accurate description attached to its name, the 183 foot tower fell with a loud crack and thud as crowds of sweaty tourists from Russia swelled around its base.
The Italian government was dumbfounded after hearing reports that the famous Tower of Pisa fell. Long touted as an impossible building that had an accurate description attached to its name, the 183 foot tower fell with a loud crack and thud as crowds of sweaty tourists from Russia swelled around its base.
Strawberry jam, Britonses favourite jam, will no longer taste like it does today, but much better when we leave Europe, whispered an increasingly wild eyed Iain Duncan Smith today.
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