Seedy Falls, CO – (SatireWorld.com)
Pam Anderson, noted for being an environmentalist and PETA animal rights activist, as well as a past Baywatch bimbo, recently purchased several hundred acres of pristine land, near Glenwood Springs, Colorado. Anderson hopes to use the tract as a wildlife refuge for abandoned bears, pigs, and cats and as a private retreat for the filming of another sleazy sex tape before her Botox wears off and her plastic hardens.

Responding to a strong backlash against the gun industry and its political advocates in the wake of the Parkland massacre last week, the National Rifle Association pointed out today that the United States actually trails several other countries in mass shootings.

People alarmed by a Donald Trump presidency are being irrational, insists a man who has repeatedly expressed concern about living under Islamic law in the U.S.

After several incidents of violence involving English football fans, the Euro 2016 committee decided it was time to cut ties with the most unpleasant element in the game. The board voted 7-3 in favour of banning England supporters.

Washington DC: (satireworld.com)
Secretary of the Department of Education Arne Duncan has announced that in order to graduate from a US high school a five question 8 hour exam will be giving to each graduating senior. The test will show how well the student can read, write and comprehend mathematics based on Common Core concepts. The test questions will change with every new graduating class.

In an act of supreme humanity and kindness, Obama spared a man he has called his ‘brother’ from watching what Donald Trump does to America, as well as the rest of the world.

An avowed evangelical Christian has called for people to pray that she overcome her inability to pray for members of the LGBT community affected by the recent shooting in Florida.

Celebrity twins Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are now closer than ever, thanks to a rare but relatively harmless conjoining of the face and torso that has occurred during the last few months.

Spanning the previously impassable Tecumseh Valley Gorge in a dizzying 3 weeks after the repeal of several federal regulations that had been slowing its construction, the 422 foot long combination steel-wood suspension-truss bridge will connect an estimated 1 million vehicles per year from Morgantown to Lewisburg.

"It’s a moving target – we can’t stay ahead of them."

Totaly Real News unveils a hard hitting story about Obama and Fox News.

Thinking he was joining an Eastern European 13-day dream vacation tour group at the airport, Paul Manafort expressed surprise when told he was in the company of expelled Russian diplomats.

TOPEKA, Kansas (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - The Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church may be known as a hate group, indulging in high-profile pickets of gay and lesbian events and military funerals, but it also prides itself with its social and environmental advocacy. Buried in its controversial planned picket of funerals of the victims of…

LONDON, United Kingdom (The Adobo Chronicles, Berlin Bureau) - Philippines’ Vice President Leni Robredo was briefly detained by British Immigration authorities as she was about to leave London for Manila.  Robredo was in London for a speaking engagement at the London School of Economics. Reports say that Robredo didn’t have the proper visa to enter the…

Upstart Islamic State has managed to secure this year’s most talented recruiting class, thanks in large part to President Donald Trump, according to ESPN.

Pointing to evidence that the water was deliberately contaminated with botulinum toxin by the Syrian government, the US claims the act constitutes a clear transgression of the allies ultimatum against chemical weapons - an assessment the Assad regime emphatically denies.

A local man says that he’s getting restless due to the pending end to the 2016-2017 football season.

Over four months of nearly nonstop exposure to state lawmakers proved to be simply too much for the Louisiana State Capitol to take, according to building experts.

Chicago, Ill – (satireworld.com)
According to the online news source most favored by clueless douchebags, the Huffington-Post reports that Illinois Congressman Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-Ill) accused Republicans on Thursday of spreading “outright lies and exaggerations” during the current border crisis, particularly statements that unaccompanied minors from Central America might be bringing Ebola into the U.S.

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