Detroit, MI – (satireworld.com)
According to Forbes rankings, Detroit is the most miserable city in the United States. Home to violent crimes, high unemployment, decreasing population and economic crises, Detroit beat out Miami (last years winner) along with Flint-MI, Chicago-IL, and Modesto-CA. So, why would anyone want to vote for a an avowed socialist like Bernie Saunders who promises to increase the minimum wages to $15.00 an hour. Heavily tax the rich one-percent who’ll just move assets off shore, and stifle the economy with handouts that increase debt and add to the unemployment rolls.
SEEKONK, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, an unmedicated Massachusetts man declared he believed Republican presidential candidate and demagogic billionaire Donald Trump would rein executive power in. Thomas Basil, a Republican construction worker and married father of two, told TNA he thought Trump would moderate the authority of the presidency, despite the billionaire's numerous statements about violating the Constitution and ignoring sound reasoning in the name of national security.
A Surrey housewife has blamed the Met Office for her husband naming his ‘storms of flatulence’. Susan Richards was speaking after Storm Kevin was unleashed under the duvet this morning just before the alarm clock went off. Last Sunday morning Storm Harry, Storm Ingrid and Storm Jackson all hit the marital bed before 9am. Mrs...
Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com)
Next time you’re in Los Angeles, you can spend about fifty dollars and make yourself feel invigorated and get some extra energy through a thorough vaginal steaming just like the Hollywood stars do…And that’s according to Gwyneth Paltrow who’s been getting her ‘clam steamed’ regularly at a fashionable LA spa.
Next time you’re in Los Angeles, you can spend about fifty dollars and make yourself feel invigorated and get some extra energy through a thorough vaginal steaming just like the Hollywood stars do…And that’s according to Gwyneth Paltrow who’s been getting her ‘clam steamed’ regularly at a fashionable LA spa.
Sharm el-Sheikh, Egypt – (SatireWorld.com)
On a hill in Sharm el-Sheikh, not far from the famous beach resorts with their bikini-clad patrons, Islamist activist Ahmed Saber ponders the fate of revealing swimwear if his party comes to power. After spending weeks observing bikini wearing women on the beach through powerful binoculars, the cleric laments the probable cause of male blindness among fellow Egyptians.
On a hill in Sharm el-Sheikh, not far from the famous beach resorts with their bikini-clad patrons, Islamist activist Ahmed Saber ponders the fate of revealing swimwear if his party comes to power. After spending weeks observing bikini wearing women on the beach through powerful binoculars, the cleric laments the probable cause of male blindness among fellow Egyptians.
NEW YORK — The New York Knicks know who they want to lead their team next and it’s Cleveland Cavaliers head coach LeBron…
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Tonight, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told the women of New Hampshire to "have fun burning in hell" after it was clear she had lost the state's Democratic primary election to U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont. Clinton's remark referenced a statement made last week by former U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Madeleine Albright that "there's a special place in hell for women that don't help each other."
Intercourse, PA-(SatireWorld.com)
Two religious groups squared off into an arguement that turned into a brawl as more than words were exchanged between groups of Hassidic Jews and Pennsylvania Amish. Fists and bottles both flew through the air as the two religious sects argued which of them was holier, humbler, and closer to their religious roots. As both were dressed in black suits with white shirts and hats, only the length of the hair was able to discern which group each bearded man belonged to.
Two religious groups squared off into an arguement that turned into a brawl as more than words were exchanged between groups of Hassidic Jews and Pennsylvania Amish. Fists and bottles both flew through the air as the two religious sects argued which of them was holier, humbler, and closer to their religious roots. As both were dressed in black suits with white shirts and hats, only the length of the hair was able to discern which group each bearded man belonged to.
DETROIT, Michigan ( The Adobo Chronicles) - The Michigan Senate has passed a bill that effectively reaffirms the state's unconstitutional law making sodomy a felony punishable by up to 15 years in prison. Michigan is one of more than a dozen states that still have sodomy bans on the books, despite the U.S. Supreme Court's 2003…
The United Nations has confirmed that North Korea is ‘seriously grounded’ after sending a satellite into space. ‘We did consider cancelling their Sky subscription too, but realised that’s why they’ve been launching satellites in the first place. Kim Jong Un is understood to have an Amazon Prime account, too, so sanctions are almost worthless,’ a...
In related news, Osiris wanted in connection with an ancient pyramid scheme.
What’s your message to Panthers fans?
Though still commonly known as "Black History Month", February is now 65% Hispanic, a recent study has shown.
Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)
Mary Crumsky held her Bernie Saunders photo tightly as she watched the nightly news unfold on her black and white TV set in Spokane Washington. The news was not good for millions of Bernie-bots who have turned their life into an endless parade of hysterical politics and over-inflated idol worship.
Mary Crumsky held her Bernie Saunders photo tightly as she watched the nightly news unfold on her black and white TV set in Spokane Washington. The news was not good for millions of Bernie-bots who have turned their life into an endless parade of hysterical politics and over-inflated idol worship.
SANTA CLARA, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Sunday's Super Bowl 50 Halftime show closed with Beyoncé, Bruno Mars, Coldplay, and the entire stadium audience sending the message: "Believe in Love," and a lot of heterosexual people took to social media to complain that the show was an attempt to advance the gay agenda. But members of the…
Jeremy Corbyn has finally made his first appearance at the cross-party Parliamentary Fight Club, which dates back to the 1800s and pits MPS in no holds barred, bare-knuckle fighting. He defeated, John Pugh, Lib Dem spokesperson for education, but Fight Club regular Michael Gove, who prefers to fight naked, said that the performance lacked any...
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