Lori Loughlin has signed on with the Lifetime Network to appear in a new reality program that will document the actress' story of perseverence in the face of the ongoing college admissions scandal that continues to swirl around her and her family.

Amy Schumer announced last night during a stand-up appearance in St. Paul, Minnesota that her difficult and very public pregnancy has entered its 5th trimester.

Is the Tory party about to implode into an orgy of sadism and sexual depravity? Top political activist compares state of Tory government to last days of Third Reich, predicts it will self-destruct in hedonistic frenzy of sex and violence.

Was genteel and pseudo-intellectual British TV game show Call My Bluff actually an instrument of government oppression? Top conspiracy theorist claims show part of establishment conspiracy to subvert English language, thereby redefining the way we view certain issues.

'Send them home!' In wake of New Zealand mosque terror shootings, Maori leaders call for European immigrants to go home. Sentiments echoed by Australian Aboriginals and Native Americans as all call for end to mass white immigration. Native Americans propose wall around US to keep out white hordes.

Hampered by an increasingly tight labor market, Taco Bell announced this week that it will enhance its efforts to lure fresh talent with the offer of a new benefit.

A zombie killed by hikers in a remote border region of New Mexico Sunday has been revealed to be Jesus Christ of Nazareth, our Lord and Savior.

Pushing back against "PC thugs", President Trump vowed today that he would work to restore the rights of workers to harass one another in the workplace.

A black woman claiming to have escaped kidnappers in Chicago has been identified as Brady Baker, a boy who went missing from his Wisconsin home 8 years ago.

A little known astronomer caused an uproar in the scientific community today after leaving a red lifesaver candy on the lens of a powerful telescope.

Building on the popularity of the changes to this year's tax forms, the U.S. Congress promised to work hard in the coming months to add 14 additional worksheets.

Investigation into Stephen Hawking's former nurse uncovers underground network of gladiatorial contests for the disabled. Did late physicist's use of high tech weaponry to win competition lead to Far Eastern gambling syndicate 'offing' him?

As soon as David Lammy used the term 'White Saviour Syndrome' with regard to certain Comic Relief celebrities, the reaction was inevitable: the ludicrous allegation that Lammy is being racist for condemning white people trying to capitalise on their charity 'work'...

Did the dinosaurs fart themselves into extinction? Top scientist sparks controversy with new theory that Jurassic giants own noxious emissions might have wiped them out by triggering catastrophic climate change.

Trump scientists announced a major breakthrough in Artificial Non-Intelligence today with the unveiling of the ZeepZop 2000, a highly unintelligent device with no practical function.

President Trump ordered his Chief of Staff to grant Russian President Vladimir Putin a the highest security clearance available from the US government.

President Trump selected himself as White House Employee of the Month this week, the 27th consecutive time he has conferred himself the same honor.

Taking his ongoing feud with John McCain to another dimension this week, President Trump reported today on Twitter that spirits he has been in contact with through a Ouija Board have tied deceased Senator John McCain to the recent Boeing Max 8 tragedies.

Saying that Fake News is using too many needless words in their posts, the president declared a ban on using extra words.

According to FBI spokesman Dale Palmer, the same who led the investigation that culminated in Loughlin's arrest on Tuesday, the elder Loughlin offered a judge and members of the Los Angeles District Attorney's Office an array of enticements - including coupons and vouchers for meals and local attractions - in a bid to insure her daughter would spend any future sentence she may receive in the exclusive prison.