Research by the LIGO Collaboration has revealed that a good accountant can warp space-time as well as your tax bill. A billion light-years from what everyone else pays, two black holes ('what Google owes' and 'what Google makes') have collided to generate a distortion in the fabric of corporate tax codes and bag-douchery.

  “I meant, the circle of hell where they stick hot coals up your ass and demons forever eat off your tits.” —Madeleine Albright

The problem at the Oregon Wildlife Refuge begins with the cows. They don’t belong here in the first place. Europeans coming over to the U.S. insisted on bring Europe over with them. Rather than adapt to a new environment, they brought...

Whig CA: (satireworld.com)

The town of Whig CA was founded by Atheists, but the town’s population according to the latest US Census is only about 500 and still dwindling. The most popular sport is fox hunting, as males out number females by a ratio of two to one.

WASHINGTON D.C. (The Barbed Wire) - As those Americans who hold the Constitution near and dear to their hearts mourn the passing of conservative Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, Democrats have already begun attacking Republicans for suggesting a delay in replacing Scalia until a new president takes office in 2017.

ARTISANAL PRESS — If you’re in the doghouse this Valentine’s Day, then don’t feel too badly. This year, as it turns out, you’ll have some bluechip companionship with you. That’s because of social media fall-out over Google’s decidedly insensitive “Go Ogle” Valentine’s Day greeting, which is one of several randomly-served logos appearing on the search giant’s homepage today.

President Obama nominates himself to fill the vacant seat on the Supreme Court after the death of Justice Antonin Scalia. Obama states he would like to see whether Senate Republicans want to block his Supreme Court nominee more than they want him out of the White House.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - It has been widely rumored that if elected next president of the United States, Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders will nominate Barack Obama to the first vacancy that will occur on the Supreme Court. Well, that time has come with the passing of Justice Antonino Scalia. The problem is, neither…

The Central Intelligence Agency has started auditioning lone gunmen to assassinate Bernie Sanders should he be elected in November, insiders say.

The Syrian leader appointed Jeremy Hunt, the British health secretary, to lead the review after his recent success negotiating contracts for British doctors. There are concerns that some Syrian people may be unhappy with the current situation, citing dissatisfaction with war, famine, pestilence and death.

Vellore, IN—Last week without warning or provocation a meteorite slammed into the Earth, killing one and injuring three. Rayja Sinhi told reporters today she plans to sue the entire asteroid belt for her husband’s death. “We must send a clear message to all radicalized space rocks,” said Mrs. Sinhi. “I won’t be satisfied until the asteroid belt is downgraded to the Great Cosmic Dust…

While Philadelphia is not considered the epitome of the bon vivre, it is nonetheless responsible for some goodies we enjoy today, and not just Philly Steak. After all, the Constitution, Ben Franklin and Freedom of the Press got their starts there, as did the Queen of the Philadelphia...

Despite the romance's lurid pink cover and relatively short length compared to the Hemingway book, no complaints were filed by English teachers or students.

Hanoi, North Vietnam (satireworld.com)

General Vo Nguyen (Dinky dau) Giap, architect of Vietnam’s resistance against first France, than the US. died one year ago today. A national celebration of his military life was being observed across the world including the US, family members and government officials said.

With the unexpected death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus is dismayed at having wasted his last wish from that genie on a sandwich.

MANILA, Philippines  (The Adobo Chronicles) - Filipinos learn in school that their country is composed of 7,101 islands (at low tide). Now, geography books may have to be revised. The Philippines' population is fast increasing, reaching over 100 Million as of the latest population census. But not to worry, its land mass is also increasing! The…

PORTLAND, OR — A year after tumultuous protests ripped through the United States over an epidemic of lethal police brutality, the left is now championing a bill to protect the names of officers who use lethal force from being reported in the media for as long as 90 days.

BROCKTON, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Today, a Massachusetts man with a record of following right-wing media observed it was cold outside, and shared his observation on social media to embarrass the world's scientists. Thomas Basil, a construction worker and married father of two, used his superior deductive reasoning skills to shame science and destroy the scientific theory of global climate change with his rival scientific thesis that climate change was bullshit.

‘We have a dedicated team of trained health professionals looking after Daniel round the clock,’ said chairman Tom Werner. ‘He played in the cup match the other night and we told him to keep his fingers crossed that he would avoid an injury, unfortunately he has developed some sort of arthritic condition in his fingers as a result’.

Today, the results of a study by the news team at The Nil Admirari showed a sizable minority of American voters were disturbed by the honesty and consistent record of Democratic presidential candidate U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont.