Don’t panic! There are many things you can do to make the day educational, fun, and tolerable. The key is optimism and planning!

LAS VEGAS -- Although sparing readers the graphic details, Piper "Pips" Waspinger leaves no doubt that when the voting booth curtain closes, her genitalia will push Hillary Clinton's button. After reading Waspinger’s recent article, "I Am Voting With My Vagina," I caught up with her in Nevada, site of the next Democratic primary.

Dallas, Texas – (satireworld.com)
Rockers Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby have a few kind words for their fans…’We love you guys!’ Ever since the rock group ‘The Lee Harvey Oswald Band’ was formed fifty years ago, success still seems to have followed them wherever they play.

I don’t want a governor who offers doomsday scenarios. I just want a governor who will tell me “It’s a great day for Louisiana,” like Bobby Jindal did.

Former A-list Hollywood star Val Kilmer is thinking about joining the recent trend of washed-up and lesser-known celebrities gaining attention for claiming the Earth is not round.

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chornicles, San Francisco Bureau) - When Manny Pacquiao meets Timothy Bradley, Jr. for the third time on April 9 at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, he will be met by a picket line by the homophobic hate group Westboro Baptist Church (WBC). WBC is known for its rhetoric against homosexuals and has…

Washington DC – (satireworld)

Chief Justice John Roberts, 97, and fellow associate justice Ruth Bader ‘Meinhof’ Ginsburg, 104, will be tested this evening amid growing concerns neither ‘has shown much sign of life’ ever since colleague Antonin Scalia was found RIP on Saturday.

Wondering what to do with the extra day we get this month? Knick Moore offers a dozen ways to improve yourself that can all be accomplished in a day or less.

Facing more looming, drastic cuts to higher education by state leaders, LSU administrators are looking to enact some creative ways to generate additional revenue, such as imposing fees to enter restroom stalls equipped with holes used for anonymous sex.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, far-right radio personalities claimed the death of Justice Antonin Scalia was part of an elaborate plan concocted by the White House to appoint a liberal replacement to the Supreme Court. The notable far-right rabble rousers asserted Scalia was assassinated by a government-brainwashed bald eagle, which stealthily entered Scalia's room, suffocated him with his own pillow, and hastily flew back outside to freedom.

In a study carried out among NHS staff and patients, medical researchers have found that Hunt's Syndrome, an affliction caused by ill-thought out ideas and unbridled ambition, has increased by 20% in the last year alone.

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

What will you do if you’re on the Supreme Court? That’s the question President Obama is asking the nation’s schoolchildren to answer in an unprecedented drawing contest to find the next justice.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)


Tiny, rolling balls of brain cells knocking around in a lab may one day help keep Bernie Saunders supporters from losing their place while reading the back of cereal boxes, staring at shiny objects, and other attention robbing activities that quickly spiral out of control causing deeply troubling illusions of winning an election using promises and an agenda that became stale back in 1917.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau)-  Donald Trump must be celebrating in his Penthouse Suite at the Trump Towers tonight after an article published in a non-partisan website, Family Security Matters, claimed that not only is Senator Ted Cruz not a natural-born citizen but that he also entered the U.S. illegally in 1974. Read the article…

MYRTLE BEACH (The Barbed Wire) - At a rally for her mom, Chelsea Clinton claims she left the Baptist Church at age 6 because she disagreed with the Church's stance against abortion. Chelsea knew better and knew how misguided the church was, even at such a tender age.

TORONTO — Los Angeles Lakers legend Kobe Bryant maintained his composure during a touching All-Star pregame ceremony hon…

Brooklyn, NY – (satireworld.com)
Arnold Horshack is very angry that fellow Brooklynites are mistaking him for disgraced ex-congressman Anthony ‘Underpants’ Weiner (D-Jerkoff).

Weiner is receiving renewed attention ever since he announced his ‘possible’ intentions of running again for New York City mayor after recent polls have shown most voters have almost forgotten his nude photos adventure. If fact, most polled said they reallyt wanted to just forget the Brooklyn pervert

McConnell continued, "I am extremely confident Senate Republicans are on track to help the GOP lose its third presidential election in a row, and maybe even a house of Congress if we play our cards just right."