In line with with the gender pay gap in the UK, the Conservative government has warned 25% of the 'Birth Budget' given to pregnant women must be paid back in the child is female.

Flagstaff, AZ—The Tuesday before Super Tuesday is about to get even supererer as The Daily Discord is throwing a HUGE endorsement Hillary’s way. Many of my fellow contributors are clearly Berning, so this was a tough choice. My rants over the last decade are imbued with a common theme. I feel strongly that a republican supermajority would…

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

Orlando, Florida – (SatireWorld.com)
Casey Anthony’s attorney, Jose Baez, announced today that his client, recently freed Casey Anthony, has won a multi-million dollar cash prize from the Florida Lottery. The drawing was held on Wednesday and Anthony had the sole winning lottery ticket. After taxes, Anthony will walk away with over $125 Million dollars in cash.

New York City - (Satireworld)
Rock ‘n’ roller Jick Magger reveals to Satireworld reporters how he confided in the famous dead Beatle about his passionate weekend fling with famous Grassy Noel shooter Antonin Scalia, justice of the piss:
“One night at the Dakota Building apartment when Yoko was on the rag, comatose on quaaludes, John and I cracked open a case of Laphroaig….a patented Scottish mouthwash distilled from Highland piss.

LANCASTER, MASS. — The warden at the Souza-Baranowski Correctional Facility in Lancaster, Mass., has apologized after al…

Pushing back against FBI demands that Apple provide access to the iPhone of dead San Bernardino terrorist Syed Farook, Apple CEO Tim Cook is set to announce the launch of a new mobile terror platform, tentatively nicknamed iJihad, later this week.

CLEVELAND (The Barbed Wire) - Licensed psychiatrists and psychologists have already begun seeing establishment Republicans here at the site of the upcoming Republican convention this summer, to help them learn to cope with a possible Donald Trump nomination. "The main thing we're seeing in Republican patients so far is denial," said Dr. Harding from Boston.

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia returned to the bench today after dying February 13th to rule against Obamacare's mandate that religious-sponsored corporations must allow their employees access to contraception through their health insurance.

SINGAPORE  (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - If it were up to a Roman Catholic archbishop, people should go to church instead of attending Madonna's Sunday concert in Singapore. Archbishop William Goh reminded Catholics that it was their "moral obligation not to support those who denigrate and insult religions, including anti-Christian and immoral values promoted by the…

“The library is basically lost,” lamented Marlene French, a passerby who valiantly attempted, but failed, to rescue a calico cat wearing a bandanna from the billowing cloud of gluten as it menacingly disseminated down the street. “The city will have to evacuate downtown. Anything else would be totally irresponsible.”

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she had locked the support of 1 billion superdelegates, and demanded U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont concede. Both Clinton and Sanders remain tied at 51 actual delegates - based on actual voting - less than a week before the Democratic presidential primary election in South Carolina.

The U.S. Justice Department is attempting to cajole Apple into granting it rear entry to iPhones by claiming doing so would not violate the tech company’s ethical standards.

While the rest of the UK is forced into deciding which Etonian to be lied to by, residents of Queen Victoria’s ‘favourite place to die’ are somewhat out of-the-loop. Unaware of their EU membership, many islanders were still under the impression that we were fighting Napoleon, seeking reparations from the Romans, and still using Betamax.

Prior to the Iowa Caucuses, Glenn Beck threw his support behind Ted Cruz and he has been campaigning for him ever since. The Beckster is now willing to fast until his choice for the republican nomination wins super Tuesday, which Beck dearly hopes comes with cheesy fries. “I will be ready for cheesy fries by then,”…

by Roger Freed.It all started very normally. It was a usual, quiet evening with the Rock Bottom Remainders setting up their equipment for another gig. OK, actually, the Rock Bottom Remainders are not really so very normal. Their roster is made up of all famous literary and artistic people like Dave Barry the humor writer, Stephen King [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

Ottawa, Canada – (satireworld.com)

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Trump supporters are prompting an exodus among Bernie Saunders’ supporters who fear they’ll soon be required to become responsible citizens once Bernie Saunders is finally given his walking papers after the 2016 election.

Spokane, WA – (satireworld.com)

It started out as a simple picnic in Twin Falls Park when, through mo fault of his own, Anthony ‘Rocco’ Pietro felt different than when he first arrived at the picnic area. That’s what lawyers are saying in a recent lawsuit filed against Krafty Foods where they claim Krafty’s Zesty Italian Salad Dressing made their client into an instant homosexual.

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - Throughout his campaign, Donald Trump has flouted official histories and facts, claiming, for example, that thousands of Muslims celebrated in New Jersey on Sept. 11, and that the Department of Labor cooks the unemployment books and that the real jobless rate is 23 percent. On Friday night, Trump…

Most supporters of Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump criticize Democratic presidential candidate U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders' self-professed democratic socialism despite supporting a national socialist.