WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - In a shocking move today, Democratic presidential candidate U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont doubled down on his decision to continue his campaign for the presidency after a crushing loss in South Carolina to his rival former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Sanders baffled political experts by remaining in the Democratic presidential primary even though there were only 46 primary states remaining.

os Angeles, CA – (satireWorld.com)

Dr. Rami Gushinari finally released to the public the official 25 page LA Coroner’s report on Michael Jackson. The ‘King of Pop’ died from a drug overdose and was laid to rest in Woodlawn Cemetery for the Elite and Pompous almost seven years ago.

Fat kid Tommy "Two Tons" Touzinsky was diagnosed this week with a genetic disorder that is responsible for his humongous body's inability to regulate its weight.

Unemployed John Prestwick of Barnet was said to be in complete shock last night after bookies made him favourite to take the cinematography Oscar at this years awards ceremony. John was nominated for an Oscar for his pirate version of Hurt Locker that he filmed at the Odeon in Watford with his brother in laws' camcorder which critics have since praised for adding a gritty, realistic layer to the original film.

  I am soooo fucking done with this shit. The only reason I, as CEO of The Discord, haven’t killed Zano outright is the associated jail time. This is the retraction installment of our internet saga, which, incidentally, takes most of my time these days. First and foremost, Zika is NOT spread by having sex with mosquitoes.…

by Roz Warren.Talk about stimulating: Pairing erotica with a vibrator. A French start-up is marketing a Bluetooth-enabled vibrator that’s paired with an erotic Ebook. During the smutty parts, you just tap the screen or shake the device and the vibrator starts right up. “It’s going to generate some buzz,” quipped gadget reviewer Nate Hoffelder in the Digital [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

DURHAM, NC — Duke Blue Devils guard Grayson Allen is now sitting ahead of both Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio in the most rece…

Bucharest,Romania(satireworld.com)

Ruthless communist era dictator Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife were hastily exhumed today in order to give them their annual dinner of roasted potatoes and salt.

Every year since their summary execution on Christmas Day 1989, the bodies have been dug up, fed, DNA gathered, and the bodies re-buried as required by a 1990 governmental order.

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com)

Trying to avoid accusations from the past, Gary the gerbil, age 42, is trying to set straight the allegations that he’s had to live with for the past thirty-five years.

Born a coal miner’s only son, Gary’s life was on the slow track to nowhere until he was purchased at a Hershey Pennsylvania pet store by an up and coming actor named Richard Gere. Gere later went on to Hollywood star status after a string of popular movies and a marriage to super model Cindy Crawford.

Borises involved with the referendum, which is set to decide whether Britain stays or leaves the EU, made clear last night that if you vote Out it means you want to get out of Europe, and a vote In means you want to stay in, although you can't actually vote in or out, according to a reader who has seen the referendum question printed on the polling paper.

Fort Knox, Kentucky

Officials at the US Depository, better known as Fort Knox, have found the need for more storage room at the 80 year old facility, ever since the reports of vast amounts of gold being discovered in Blountstown, Florida. Located in rural Kentucky the official US Gold Depository is home to the United State’s gold reserves reported to be valued at $750 billion dollars.

“The economy hasn’t performed anywhere near as well as I guessed,” said the Chancellor today, citing “global warming” as responsible for the poor quality of seaweed used to forecast growth. “Clearly I will have to trim public sector budgets further,” he added, noting that as only a handful of public servants were employed anymore the...

  Washington, DC—President Barack Obama was all smiles today as he and the First Lady watched magician Criss Angel’s performance at Guantanamo Bay. The 48-year-old illusionist wowed a large live audience with his most elaborate trick to date. At the start of his act a giant cloth surrounded the notorious detention facility, Guantanamo Bay, but…

by James Israel.Don’t miss the Humor Times anniversary bash, starring comedian Will Durst and featuring a “Short History of the Humor Times” slide show! The Humor Times will be 25 years old in April, and we’re celebrating the landmark silver anniversary on Wednesday, April 13th, 7-9pm at Laughs Unlimited, 1207 Front Street, in old town Sacramento! The [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

The KKK election official continued, "The Ku Klux Klan believes Donald Trump will make America great again, and the KKK strongly believes that greatness lasted from 1861 to 1865 when the South became the Confederate States of America to defend slavery."

Washington, DC (SatireWorld.com)
In a shocking turn-around for American taxpayers seeking national debt relief, and a hopeful boost for the Democrats re-election campaign, Barack Obama instructed Treasury officials to initiate a sweeping step by step plan to eliminate the nation’s looming debt payments held by foreign governments, namely China.

Yes, we know it's an odd one. Bear with us. It's Saturday, all right?

LOS ANGELES — Los Angeles Rams owner Stan Kroenke proclaimed today that he will get Mexico to foot the bill for the plan…

Washington, DC – (satireWorld.com)

In a thinly veiled attempt to thwart the long scheduled Republican televised debate, President Obama originally selected that date as the evening he wanted to address both houses of Congress about his newest economic ideas in an 11th hour attempt at still being considered relevant in his last months at playing a TV President..

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the United States deported dozens of unaccompanied, and very frightening, child refugees back to the war zones around the world they had fled from. The child refugees were expected to spread tales of American bravery for as long as they remained alive.