The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

"I was very concerned Hillary Clinton was afraid to debate me, but I did not see this reply coming. I received an invoice from Secretary Clinton today showing I was being charged $225,000 for her debate participation," announced Senator Sanders.

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com)

At a recent international auction house, a man’s sweaty jockstrap sold for a reported $350,000. No ordinary physical supporter, this particularly innocuous looking jockstrap was the property of Bargis Tryhol, the Man With The World’s Largest Penis, and now he’s equally famous as a US Presidential contender for the 2012 US Presidential race.

DURHAM, NC — Duke Blue Devils guard Grayson Allen saw his team get eliminated from the NCAA Tournament on Thursday night…

PORTLAND, Oregon (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - There couldn't be a more appropriate news story for this Holy Week. While Republicans Donald Trump and Ted Cruz were busy trading barbs on who's wife is hotter or who or who is not having extra-marital affairs, God has spoken and has made His choice known on who…

The FBI has demanded Facebook unlock all accounts to aid its fight against terrorism.

The American law enforcement agency has been engaged in a long-running battle with Apple for it to unlock the phone of a terrorist and now is trying a similar approach with another tech giant.

Burlington, VT—Despite their inherent voter suppression, gerrymandering, and white privilege, one liberal is defending the actions of conservatives. Sandra Smith of Burlington is insisting we protect the ideologically-impaired among us. “Although they still wield considerable power,” said Ms. Smith, “the long term prospects for the Grand Old Party is dim. As their habitat dwindles, they will likely become…

We’ve seen a million or more police procedurals in movies and on television; they began well before TV’s Joe Friday was around keeping Los Angeles safe. Time enough has slipped by for us to now learn the intricate steps of the drone procedural.

Washington DC- (satireworld.com)
The political turmoil in the USA, eight months before the November presidential elections, grows more acute every day. Both political parties are caught up in a swirling eddy of accusations: Republicans as to which candidate has the bigger hands or penis, who is more presidential, whose wife did what; Democrats as to who lied about Benghazi Libya Islamic terrorist attacks (getting Americans killed), who passes TOP SECRET emails over unsecured communications and adopting democratic socialism vice capitalism.

Lavonia, MI – (satireworld.com)
Laws in some states requiring chocolate Easter bunnies to be eaten ears first are being protested by several deaf and hard of hearing groups. They find these rules to be discriminatory and feel that they demean the very real disabilities of those with hearing loss.

The suspect had bunny gore all over her face when police arrested her in a Port-A-Jonnie near Spokane International Airport
Spokane, WA – (SatireWorld.com)
Sarah Eostre was a normal teenage girl of 17 from all outward appearances. Her room at home had scores of frilly dolls, the usual posters on the wall, piles of school books, and an open and marked copy of 'Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse' a novel by Robert Rankin. Also in the room was dark secret kept hidden away in the back of a closet.

Hillary Clinton says Bernie Sanders' campaign won't be rising from the dead like another Jewish man she can think of on Easter Sunday.

The unrepentant terrorist commonly known as Peter “Boom Boom” Cottontail has once again strewn his dangerous wares in yards around the nation, causing widespread panic and pushing bomb squads to their limit as local law enforcement struggles to deal with the situation.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and orange billionaire Donald Trump confirmed he had sent naked pictures of himself to Heidi Cruz, who is the wife of his main Republican rival U.S. Senator Ted Cruz of Texas. Trump claimed he sent Heidi Cruz naked pictures of himself as a peace offering following a Twitter feud with Ted Cruz, and because he loves women.

Buckingham Palace today announced an additional decree as well as allowing pubs to remain open later during the Queen's 90th birthday celebrations. A spokesman said it has also sanctioned that a celebrity, chosen by public vote, can be publicly executed at 11:59 pm as the finale of her celebrations.

Brewing in a toilet tank near you.  

WASHINGTON — Today, Democratic presidential front-runner and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton promised her rival U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont he could have all of his progressive political positions back after she...

CLEVELAND — The Cleveland Browns are reportedly seriously considering signing former Washington quarterback Robert Griff…

CHATTANOOGA, TENNESSEE (The Nil Admirari) - A group of conservative Christian leaders announced the founding of a group called the Totally-Not-Gay Christian Leaders of America (TNGCLA) today. The nonprofit organization's primary mission will be to fight the gay civil rights movement while making it clear to everyone none of its upstanding members are gay.

ST. PETER, Minnesota (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - State health officials today confirmed earlier reports that former Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann has escaped from the maximum security mental hospital in St. Peter. The former Republican  presidential candidate and founder of the House Tea Party Caucus voluntarily checked in at the facility immediately after her…