Seeking to "stem the flow of rumor and innuendo", Donald Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani acknowledged the existence of a non-disclosure agreement between the President and Barkie the dog, a Corgi who Trump reportedly spent part of an afternoon with during the run-up to the 2016 election.

Stockholm, Sweden – (SatireWorld.com)
Ivana Phuque, the Swedish Speed Skater who won multiple gold medals at the 2010 Vancouver Olympic Games, is pleased to announce that her brother, Richard “Dick” Phuque is engaged. Dick Phuque will soon marry American gymnast Nastia Liukin, making her Mrs. Nastia Phuque.

Please arrive precisely on time!

Trading Alaska and Hawaii for the Gulag? Bannon seems to like the concept. Or is he simply Chief Ass Kisser in Residence?

Not much is known of the new candidate, but members of the Parliamentary Labour Party are said to be immensely impressed with her political ideology as well as her charisma and leadership ability.

Los Angeles, CA-(SatireWorld.com)
The dog trainer to the stars has hit a bumpy road in the last few weeks with the announcement of an impending divorce.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)
Washingtonian’s eyes have gotten bigger after federal agents grilled Hillary Clinton Saturday morning over her use of a private server for her email while she served as Secretary of State.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions today once again turned to The Bible when pressed with more heated questions regarding the Trump Administration's policy of separating the children of men and women caught attempting to illegally cross into The United States - this time however to a series of passages that have heretofore never existed.

HotFyre, a new streaming music service has launched with less than stellar reviews.

PORTLAND, OR — It’s like a scene from some post-apocalyptic atomic nightmare, from some dystopian science fiction film. But this is no cautionary tale of potentially-avoidable future foibles — this is present-day reality, unfolding right this very afternoon, right here in Portland, OR. And it’s coming down on us just days after people in southern states were themselves sprayed en masse from the sky, with a similar [though plasticine] compound.

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)

A spokesman for the FBI unveiled a plot against a Congresswoman today at a press conference in Los Angeles. The thwarted crime was supposedly formulated by Trump supporters said FBI field agent Henry Winnebago. The charges included to ‘kidnap and extort Administration critic California Congresswoman Maxine Waters, by using a trap-like device located on the grounds of her Los Angeles home’.

Today NASA spokesman Jim Jameson told reporters, during a hastily prepared press conference, that “the math… was much, much harder than we theorized” as he discussed the latest of seven satellite explosions, costing nearly $3.1 billion.

"Poppin' Fresh is a wonderful guy, and he has the recipe to make America great again," declared Donald Trump at what appeared to be a Caucasian-only campaign rally.

Declaring his utmost confidence in himself to head the National Security Council's Western Hemisphere division, Trump introduced a biological clone of himself to replace the ousted Craig Deare, who was fired Friday after making statements critical of the progenitor Trump.

The US government announced today the creation of a "No-'F'List" designed to prevent people whose potential to reproduce is deemed a threat to the future well-being of the country.

So, I was reading the other day as to how when the Queen finally shuffles off this mortal coil, we'll get two extra bank holidays: one for the funeral, one for the coronation of her successor. Which means that we'll have to hope that she pops her clogs during the Summer so that we'll have the best chance of being able to fully enjoy these extra days off...

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com)
A massive iceberg drifting from Antarctica could spell disaster for Los Angeles if it floats too far away from the continent.
So, to track the estimated 1,270-square-mile iceberg, the Natural Environment Research College of Sweden gave a grant of $2 million dollars to track the largest iceberg ever recorded as it trekked northward. The funds will be used to help predict the path of the giant iceberg, which broke off Antarctica’s Pine Island Glacier in July.

Hoping to emulate the success of Movember, the charity fad that has raised millions of dollars for testicular cancer research over the last several years, activists in California have announced the inauguration of “Fepubary.”

London(UK)- (SatireWorld.com)
Implying that the late un-lamented pedophile Jimmy Savile brought “joy and happiness’ to underprivileged children in care facilities, the liberal British rag came out of the closet in support of granting ‘minority status’ to serial pedophiles in order to protect their ‘rights.’

“Dear Kim. Can I call you Kim? It’s a girl’s name. Can I still call you that? I’d like to call you that. My people have a problem. Great people. But people with problems. The problem? Fake News..."