PHILADELPHIA — The Philadelphia Eagles announced this morning that backup quarterback Mark Sanchez has been executed by …

‘I don’t know what came over me,’ the Labour leader said. ‘I’m normally very frugal but the teapot really caught my eye; before I knew it I was £9 out of pocket.’

Jackson,TN – (SatireWorld.com)

A woman in Tennessee filed a complaint with the Tennessee Department of Health after she said a doctor told her that her back pain was caused by her ‘ghetto booty.’

'Make America 19th Century Again’ replaces ‘Make America Great Again’ as his slogan of choice if Trump goes to the polls in November.

The most gruntabulest female tennis player on the international tennis grunting circuit admitted last night to taking substances to increase her grunts, according to Maria Sharapova, once 24.

The director of a suburban Denver shelter has confirmed that former Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning was rescued just minutes before he was scheduled to be euthanized.

Tupac is back and he released a statement to the press today in his new home of Chipping, Essex.

Outrage as Academy Awards address diversity issue by having DiCaprio accept Best Actor Oscar in black face. Act of 'solidarity' condemned as offensive and ill judged stunt.

"All corporate media outlets must continue to push the narrative Hillary Clinton has already won against the hopeless presidential campaign of Bernie Sanders, who we now believe to be an undead creature of darkness," stated the unsigned memo.

There was amazement yesterday when local government officer Norbert Stobart discovered that rather than it being 'what it is, there exists the possibility that something can be changed.

First thing off when I wake up is to check the morning-wood situation. Tremendous — I can assure you. Never fails. Ivanka had a nickname for it ...

Pundits on both sides of the aisle were speechless when Governor Rick Snyder won both the Republican and Democratic primaries in Michigan, despite not being on either ballot.

Billionaire business man and Presidential candidate Donald Trump has promised to bring back Jericho to the nation’s TV sets with a full six season story arc – but only if he is elected President.

Fifty years after the civil rights movement made it uncool to discriminate against people based on the color of their skin, racism appears to be making a strong comeback.

HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - Brad Pitt will be joining Disney Films in producing the story about an undocumented immigrant from Mexico who came to the United States at 19 and started working on farms in California, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Dr. Alfredo Quiñones-Hinojosa saved up a ton of money and enrolled…

Cowplains, IL – (satireworld.com)

A white lesbian woman who sued after she was accidentally impregnated with the sperm of an African American man will be forced to refile the lawsuit after an Illinois judge tossed out her claim against the sperm bank as a frivolous and stupid lawsuit.

Extra credit would have been awarded for crumble topping.

Cursing anti-doping officials for obliging her to stop taking the banned substance meldonium, which she claims she needed out of medical necessity, tennis star Maria Sharapova’s head has swollen into a bright green orb.

She wonders why people don’t trust her. If she wants to start gaining the trust of the American people, she needs to end all the cover-ups and come clean.

You want to really drink like the Irish on St. Pat’s? As luck would have it, I have some advice for you.