Washington AC/DC – (Satireworld.com)
A newly refurbished unisex pubic convenience at the E Barrett Prettyman United Snakes Courthouse was the scene of a nasty homophobic attack on its sanitary towel vending equipment last Friday when vandals daubed obscenities about non-Sharia compliant periodwear.

Donald Trump’s campaign is frantically trying to lure back supporters after the presidential candidate tweeted a photo of a kitten snuggling with a fawn.

The Prime Minister has insisted he only ever employs ‘legitimate truth-avoidance techniques’ when talking to the British public, and denied accusations of truth evasion. Mr. Cameron has come under intense scrutiny this week for cagey comments about his tax affairs and previously owning shares in an offshore fund.

Join team Search Truth Quest for one of their most controversial ghost hunts to date …but you shouldn’t date them.

The Koch brothers have decided that they will have to be the Republican presidential candidates themselves. An anonymous source has informed this reporter that the Koch brothers are at their wits end with the disaster the candidates have made of the Republican Party, and related the following conversation between the two brothers: “There’s not one...

Jeremy Corbyn has called for further details of the prime minster's tax return after items marked 'other sinister stuff' of £70,000 were marked with no other details in his return for 2010.

ALBANY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the New York State Board of Elections confirmed reports the name of Democratic presidential candidate U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont had disappeared from the state's Democratic primary ballot. The rival presidential campaign of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton assured New York Democrats and Sanders supporters it was working closely with the elections board to fix the situation in time for the state's April 19th primary election.

Lucy’s post about her situation went viral to the point that it reached members of The Bangles. They denied being psychic or that they deserved any of the credit.

The popular children's show Sesame Street has a new Muppet character, hijab-wearing "Zari," who will be introduced on the Afghani version of the show. In PBS's effort to remain as politically correct as possible, the character is an Islamic girl who will teach children about female empowerment and education, among other things.

Take your tired and your poor, your huddled masses, yada, yada, yada, and shove 'em. Let them be poor and miserable somewhere else. Piss off. Country's full.

Carter was supposed to be sending off a fleet of B-52 bombers but a mailing error saw the contract delivered to B-52s frontman Fred Schneider who was only to happy to receive an offer for a paying gig.

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles,  San Francisco Bureau) - Filipino champion boxer Manny Pacquiao promised that he will allow Timothy Bradley to knock him out on April 9 if the American two-time former WBO welterwieght title holder campaigns for him on television. Pacquiao is running for a seat in the Philippine Senate in the May…

Catholics must believe that John McTiernan’s 1988 motion picture ‘Die Hard’ is a Christmas film, the Pope has said.

Describing it as ‘an indisputable article of faith’ as part of his statement on family values, Pope Francis took the highly unusual step of invoking the rarely wielded executive powers of Papal Infallibility, ending almost 28 years of bitter argument and debate.

Once again, we got the scoop first …and, in this case, last.

Donald Trump isn’t damaging the GOP as much as he’s lifting the rocks they’ve been hiding under. Go ahead, exhale a deep sigh of relief because our long national nightmare could very well be over. Yes, dear friends, Donald Trump might have bitten off more than he can chew and we may be mere moments...

Dr. Eagle continued, "I cannot stress how dangerous Ted Cruz would be as president. Ted's life is a long story of antisocial and predatory behavior. Cruz completely lacks remorse and empathy, cannot create emotional attachments, and will try to destroy anyone not fooled by his naked manipulation."

New York NY- (satireworld.com)
The New York Times (NYT) faced with a declining readership had to find new ways to boost the paper’s circulation. There was a time when New Yorker’s read this paper while riding on the NYC Subway/ commuter trains or having a Danish pastry or a Bagel and a cup of coffee in the morning. Since the paper has moved to the Democratic political left, even with on-line subscriptions, readership has still decreased.

Already the excitement is palpable as thousands are in attendance at the Aintree racecourse, with the men in their suits and the women dressed as their favourite jockeys. It’s a grand day for horse racing and no race is grander than the Grand National.

The audacious plan was announced by Alex Salmond who admitted he was no fan of vegetables.

WASHINGTON (The Barbed Wire) - Now that this election cycle has been thrown into chaos for both political parties, news anchors, pundits, and cable guests can talk of nothing else than possible brokered conventions. A "brokered, open, or contested convention" is defined by Wikipedia as: a political clusterf**k, see also "the last thing voters want."