Surprisingly, this week’s prize for “Stupidest Political Comment in the Presidential Race” doesn’t go to Donnie Trump or Ted Cruz. Rather, the honor goes to the clueless cognoscenti of conventional political wisdom. These pundits and professional campaign operatives have made a unilateral decision that Bernie Sanders must now quit...

The switch will take the vote out of the hands of the people and place it into the hands of the elite rich. Rather than a traditional vote, each campaign team will be allowed to place a private bid on how much Presidency is worth. The highest bid will win the Presidency.

The nation paused on Wednesday to celebrate the return of a Kelly Ripa, a hero who had gone missing for a week.

A Missouri man is honoring Prince in the most emotionally moving way possible: by paying to listen to the late singer’s music.

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com)

The TSA announced a new weapon in the fight against international terrorism. Starting this week,all agents will be issued a set of X-ray vision glasses as part of an overall upgrade approved by Congress and a grant from DC Comics.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - All the world knows that Barack Obama will not be endorsing or voting for a Republican candidate for president, but until now, he has not revealed nor given a clue on which of the two Democratic presidential candidates he would be endorsing: Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders. Analysts…

‘The new kit allows the players to show the fans how much they care. Nothing says pride, passion and belief more than a crotchless lion costume.’

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and fascism-friendly billionaire Donald Trump dominated primary elections in Connecticut, Delaware, Maryland, Pennsylvania, and Rhode Island. In all five states, Trump won the support of nearly 80% of Americans that regretted not growing up in 1930s Germany.

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What is our cultural identity and why is it important? What does it mean to be an American in the 21st century? We are very divided, which has implications for both our identity and our future. Amidst any discussion these days, bipartisanship breaks out faster than a Ferguson Missouri Trump rally riot. Today, the republican fringe is…

by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

Governor has since flown to Europe to hide more effectively.

‘While I don’t condone the file being leaked, it does explain an awful lot about Jeremy Hunt’s job performance,’ said one junior doctor.

‘Brenda would always come into work early with a smile on her face and a song on her lips. She was annoyingly chirpy in the morning, to be honest, but none of us saw this coming,’ said work colleague Sam Brewer.

Left-leaning fashionistas are going crazy for the hottest new accessory, a free undergarment called the Bernie Bra.

A father who continually preached to his three children to trust their God to provide them with abundant finances is dismayed they continually spend more money than they have.

‘It’s been a pain avoiding talking about spoilers around him these last few years. We knew we’d be able to get him hooked on the show as soon as he got a sight of all the tits on display, we just had to get him to sit down and actually watch it,’ said Adam’s friend, Kyle Tucker.

Following the roaring success of the original Australian hostage/apology comedy film starring Amber Heard and Johnny Depp, Warner Brothers have announced that a sequel is already planned. ‘Australian Apology 2: Ruff Justice’ will feature the Yorkshire terriers Pistol and Boo voiced by Heard and Depp in a body swap comedy based in and around the Australian outback.