Such a fab dream suggests that you need to keep your sorry ass away from the Milli Vanilli OG. That shit contains more limonene than your average toilet bowl cleanser.

Until now obesity was thought to be caused largely by overeating, prolonged residence below the Mason-Dixon Line, frequent attendance at cat shows, and one's choice of sexual partners ...

The man who took the podium at a White House press conference this morning is continuing to claim that he, not Donald Trump, is the President of the United States. "I'm the President, so let's stop this foolishness and get back to business," the man, handsome and well-spoken, responded to repeated questions from reporters asking where Donald Trump was.

Recently Sleepy Joe Biden says about President Trump: *In public and in private, President Trump has asked foreign governments to interfere in our elections on his behalf. It is an abuse of power. We cannot let him get away with it.* Ooh, Mr. Fancy Talk. Look at me! I run for president using words that go right together like I'm writing college entrance thing. Whoopie!

President Trump raised a few eyebrows this morning when he interrupted his own press conference to present a self-made statue of himself apparently constructed from his own excrement.

Rigs-R-Us, the nation's leading manufacturer of "smoking enhancement technology for the socially conscious," offered refunds today to any customers who bought a Colin Kaepernick Puffco Peak dab rig that would not start.

Today we sing the praises of the one-hit wonder—pop music's most prodigious benefactor, the artist who keeps on giving even after he or she or they is no longer selling and is setting the GPS for Branson.

The Readers Digest and Postcards from the Pug Bus will "partner" to bring the GanjaScope℠ to RD's 38,000,000 readers beginning in January next year

The New York Jets bolstered their injury-depleted stock of quarterbacks today by signing Kaleb Coppernik to a one-year deal. Coppernik, who last played football in 2018 for Penn State Gettysburg, threw for 15 touchdowns and 14 interceptions en route to leading the Carpetbaggers to a 6-5 record in the Mountain Valley Conference his senior year.

Leaks abound under belts inside Beltway.

Derricka Crude, conservative America’s answer to Swedish climate change icon Greta Thunberg, is calling out the Scandinavian activist, challenging her to a steel cage match at this year’s WWE Survivor Series in November.

In related news: Nike denies that it was planning to release an all-white sneaker to commemorate National White Chocolate Day ...

The Ganjascope℠, Snoop Dogg's favorite astrological bulletin, was honored by the New York Times with its First Annual Trichome Award for excellence in marijuana writing.

soon the Pug Bus will be able to call itself "southeastern Pennsylvania's most influential service-marked satire site." . . .

As social media platforms continue to transform the landscape of modern marketing, more people interested in not doing anything meaningful with their lives are having success as online influencers. But why not you? Some possible reasons:

Just what is the truth behind the Third Secret of Sutton Coldfield? Why is it being suppressed by the Vatican? Conspiracy theorist claims it prophesises gay pope, thereby threatening whole basis of Catholicism.

News of the deaths of three unrelated Amish youth exploded like after-market vape pens in this Amimsh town.

With social media assuming a larger role in shaping the way consumers feel about everything from the brand of sneakers they wear to the restaurants they used to think they liked, people can usually rest assured that online influencers will steer them in the right direction when it comes to what to spend their money on.

Postcards from the Pug Bus today launched its National Penultimate Day campaign by sending a Bewerbungsschreiben to the National Day Calendar requesting that December 30 each year be designated National Penultimate Day.

Set against the backdrop of the February 1974 general election, Humber's film is a 'ripped-from-the-headlines expose of the seamier side of the British political scene. The plot is straightforward: teenager Wally, attending a Young Conservatives convention declares that he wants to become a political groupie and stows away in the campaign bus of a parliamentary candidate, bound for what he thinks will be the bright lights of the London political scene.