Check Please!
Transylvania,Romania – (satireworld.com)

The famous Dracula’s Castle, the Transylvania landmark once home of Vlad the Impaler and also known as Bran Castle, is up for sale in Romania. The sale price is estimated to be about $150 million in U.S. dollars.
While the castle has little indoor plumbing (except public bathrooms in the tourist areas), it does offer the following amenities:
Tehran, Iran – (satireworld.com)
Iranian Ayatollah Smella Buttholla has demanded that, like Muhammad, no one is to take his picture or to draw/paint/sculpt a caricature or portrait of him. Buttholla feels that, to attempt to emulate the Isamic prophet, one must act like and be treated like the prophet.
Stockholm, Sweden – (satireworld.com)

Olympic and world champion (Speed skating and pole vault) Ivana Phuque and her sister-in-law Nastia Phuque (a five time Olympic medalist and world champion in gymnastics herself) have announced their intention to compete as a doubles team on the tennis tour. Ivana, who previously said that she would compete on the LPGA tour, said that she changed her mind when the opportunity to work side by side with her sister-in-law and best friend. “I love her and cannot wait to get down and dirty with her on the tennis tour.”
Scientists at NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab this week announced the historic discovery of a newspaper clipping on Mars, proving that intelligent life once inhabited the red planet. And also, that all life on earth is essentially toast.
A federal judge this week released a local man who had been on death row for fourteen years after new evidence came to light showing that he was at the beach the entire time during the week of the murder.
"At the risk of sounding nepotistic, there would be nobody more competent to serve at the UN than Ivanka, and nepotism would have nothing to do with it," the President remarked. "There would be absolutely no nepotism."
SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - Twitter account holders will soon have to say goodbye to their ‘retweets’ following a new bold move by the San Francisco-based social networking giant. First, Twitter suspended a network of suspected Twitter bots on Thursday that pushed pro-Saudi Arabia talking points about the disappearance of journalist…
Pittsburgh, PA - (satireworld.com)

Joanna Cameron, star of the mid-1970’s Saturday morning television series Isis, claims that she is not in any way affiliated with the terrorist group ISIS (called ISIL by some Democrats to show support for and pander to Syria).
San Francisco, CA - (satireworld.com)

California Senator Diane Feinstein (D-CA) had a recent physical and reports of the odd medical findings were leaked to FOX News. Doctors discovered she is carrying historical artifacts that she never knew she had….Prehistoric cave drawings between her breasts!
New York City, NY – (satireworld.com)
Former First Lady, Senator, Presidential Candidate, murderer, traitor, and crooked lawyer Hillary Clinton has revealed that Brett Kavanaugh sent her inappropriate emails of a sexual nature. Clinton, however, is surprisingly unable to locate the emails.
Stockholm, Sweden – (satireworld.com)

Swedish Olympic Athlete Ivana Phuque, who has won speed skating medals in the Winter Olympics and pole vaulting medals in the Summer Olympics, has decided to expand her activities to include golf. She will compete in the 2019 LPGA tour.
Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com)

The kindergarten classes at Che Guevara Elementary School (formerly Ronald Reagan Elementary School) in Los Angeles, California was arrested, along with their teacher, as each child had a plastic straw in their juice box at lunch time. The juice boxes, brought from home and purchased by their parents, were from Minute Maid, Hi-C, Juicy Juice, Capri Sun, and several other companies.
Now that Brett Kavanaugh has been confirmed to the US Supreme Court, justices were already looking forward to the devil may care attitude and the subsequent partying they are sure he will bring.
Camel Toe Ridge, Arkansas – (satireworld.com)

Camel Toe Ridge, Arkansas, the county seat of Snatch County, has submitted a bid to the International Olympic Committee to host the 2032 Summer Games. The town joins other bids from cities like Sydney (Australia), Buenos Aires (Argentina), St. Petersburg (Russia), and Brussels, Belgium.
Dooberville, GA – (satireworld.com)

As an almost perfect ending to what’s being called ‘Witch Hunt Wednesday,’ SatireWorld editor Bargis Tryhol has gone on public record saying that he ‘slipped the eel to’ Justice Elena Kagan back in 1982 while getting a mocha shake at a local Arbys!

What is Drill Rap? Is it a new power tool based youth craze, or a sinister military parade inspired dance movement? UK media commentators ridiculed for ignorance of musical genre they are blaming for current wave of London youth violence.
Dubsdread, OH – (satireworld.com)

An Ohio woman has revealed that, “according to the records in my journal,” she was actually having sex with Brett Kavanaugh on the night Christine Blasey Ford claims he tried to rape her. Mary Jane Rottencrotch said that “I wrote everything down, I have pictures, and I can tell you where Brett has a birthmark… and Christine can’t do any of those!”
Just weeks separated from the pummeling he received at the hands of Khabib Nurmagomedov October 6th, McGregor's announcement marks the former champion's return to fighting inanimate objects after he beat up a bus in April.
Denver, CO - (satireworld.com)
Jack Phillips, owner of the Masterpiece Cakeshop in suburban Denver, refused to make a wedding cake for a gay couple on religious grounds and was cited by the Colorado Civil Rights Commission (CCRC) for Gay discrimination. The Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) upheld Mr. Phillips refusal. He has now sued the State of Colorado in federal court, over further harassment by the CCRC for his refusal to bake a cake celebrating a gender transition.
Camel Tie Ridge, Arkansas – (satireworld.com)

Farley Dickerson was elected mayor of Camel Toe Ridge, Arkansas with a whopping 95% of the vote. Camel Toe Ridge, the seat of Snatch County, is considered a pivotal “swing” city for indicating the vote in the national election.

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